Don't take it personally. You can deal with people talking about you behind your back by remembering that their words are a reflection of them, not you. You can't choose what others say about you, but you can choose how you react to it. Write off gossiping as something the other person needed to do for themselves.
Apologize swiftly, Knight said, and take the middle ground; admit fault, but do not belabor the point. In your apology, let the person know you intended the message for someone else, Knight said.
badmouth Add to list Share. Other forms: badmouthing; badmouthed; badmouths. If you badmouth someone, you say unkind or critical things about them. A good friend won't ever badmouth you behind your back.
Gossip, which is talking about someone behind their back, is wrong. And wrong actions have bad or negative consequences. It will always inevitably reap wrong, negative and/or hurtful things. You do reap what you sow.
People who talk about you behind your back generally do so for one of the following reasons: They're angry with you about something but don't want to tell you to your face. They're jealous and want to take you down a peg but in a passive-aggressive way.
If someone comes to you with some kind of gossip or rumor or toxic talk, a very simple, “I have absolutely no opinion about that at all,” is an easy way to stop the conversation in it's tracks. It's a refusal to engage. Boom, done, that's it. And don't respond otherwise.
If the gossip is detrimental, have their manager or a member of your HR team speak to the individual. Malicious Gossip. If the employee is purposefully sharing false information, it could be considered harassment, discrimination, retaliation, slander, or defamation.
Confront the source of the rumor directly.
Say something polite yet direct, like: "Hey. I want you to know that I don't appreciate the things you've been saying about me. Please stop." Then, just walk away—this person doesn't deserve your time. Ignore any insults you hear as you're walking away.
Offer your friend/family member a sincere apology, tell them you know you should not have been talking about them behind their back, and reassure them you won't do it again. Depending on their response, you could have an opportunity to explain what you were talking about and seek some sort of resolution with them.
Here are the primary reasons people engage in gossiping:
To bond with others. 42% of Millennials said that it builds workplace relationships. To vent. 44% said that office chatter relieves their work-based stress.
These include a negative impact on the person's self-confidence, work or school performance, home life and mental health. People who have been the subject of gossip have been shown to develop depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts and eating disorders. Plus it is never just the person that is targeted that is affected.
Gossip typically centers on the negative aspects of a person's personal appearance, personal achievements, or personal behaviors. A less benign form of gossip is when people discuss information about celebrities or other people highlighted in tabloids or social media.
Gossips are desperate and immature people. They need drama, love conflict and are so deeply unconfident they feel compelled to tell and spread false accusations and stories about others in order to feel a sense of superiority, or to be able to play the ultimate role of the victim.
Spreading rumors about someone's sex life, legal affairs, medical status, alleged policy violations, or personal matters. Sharing other private or negative information that someone has not consented to be shared.
For instance, gossip and rumors can destroy a person's self-confidence and affect their self-esteem. 1 It also can lead to depression, suicidal thoughts, eating disorders, anxiety, and a host of other issues.
People gossip to feel like they belong to a group. They use speaking badly of people as a way to undermine rivals and establish alliances. When two people speak ill of a third, they form a kind of alliance. To gossip is to try to be inside of possible attacks of opponents.
Venting is sometimes necessary to productively express frustration about a person or a problem—but gossiping isn't. Gossip is spread maliciously while venting relieves pent-up frustration. Gossiping is ill-intentioned and mean-spirited and can cause destruction of a person's humanity or reputation.
Verbal bullying is when someone says unkind, intimidating or offensive things designed to hurt you. Social bullying is when people talk about you behind your back, spread rumours to humiliate you or play nasty jokes on you.
Be direct. State the rumor or gossip that has reached you and ask the person if he said those things and why. Try to be clear, but say as little as possible; too much information can be overwhelming, and the gossiper may have trouble processing everything you're saying.
Defamation is any statement made by someone that hurts another person's reputation.
At their core, according to Parks, haters hate due to insecurities, low self-esteem, and deep envy. They see others doing better than them, compare themselves to others, and lash out in myriad forms, including via social media, whisper campaigns, mobbing (forming a group to bully), and even physical violence.