Things You Should Know
Be assertive but respectful to stop teasing from going any further. Take care of yourself and manage stress. Understand that put-downs are a reflection of the other person's insecurity and get support from trusted confidantes.
Sometimes, they could do it because they feel bad about themselves and have low self-esteem, and so they put people down to boost their own confidence. Feeling a need to do so could have many different causes. For instance, maybe they're harshly criticized at home or maybe they have been bullied themselves.
Feelings of extreme anxiety, low self-esteem, worthlessness, difficulty trusting others, maintaining close relationships, or feeling worn out after a visit with your family are all signs you grew up in a toxic family.
They may be insecure in the relationship and need to control the other person to maintain their status or power within it. They may believe that making someone else feel small will help them appear more capable or successful in comparison.
Belittling is the intentional act of making another feel worthless, empty, and dismissed. It is one of many forms of psychological and emotional abuse.
Try deflecting belittling behavior with humor. Respond with humor or exaggerate the belittling comment and make a joke out of it. Doing this could help someone to realize the outrageousness of what they have said if it is not based on solid facts or evidence.
An example of a gaslighting comment would be something like, “you're remembering that wrong” or “you're just being too sensitive.” If a coworker or boss continues to belittle you, it may be time to talk to someone in human resources.
Reflect on how to learn from negative experiences and vet people/situations better in the future. First, Try to calm your self-anger and regret. Don't let someone tear you down by their incompetence or unethical behavior. However, review what you did that may have contributed to the problem.
If someone is belittling you, use this opportunity to laugh it off instead of wade into the hate and negative emotions. This won't always be possible, and sometimes the belittling goes far past the point of casual ribbing into real bullying and abuse. But when it is possible, try using humor to deflect the meanness.
Narcissists belittle others because they have their own insecurities, fears and flaws, and are afraid of having them exposed to others. In making hurtful comments to others, they reinforce their own feelings of importance and hide the low self-esteem and self-worth that may be lurking within.
The following are examples of what belittling looks like: Yelling or screaming at you to get a reaction. Insulting you — calling you fat, ugly or stupid — or criticizing your parenting skills or intelligence. Ignoring how you feel, disregarding your opinion or failing to recognize your contributions.
People with toxic traits know they have them
But many people with toxic traits don't realize that their behavior impacts others. You may have toxic traits that you don't know about. Some toxic traits, like absolutism, manifest subtly.
A toxic person is anyone whose behavior adds negativity and upset to your life. Many times, people who are toxic are dealing with their own stresses and traumas. To do this, they act in ways that don't present them in the best light and usually upset others along the way.
Going scorched earth with statements like “I'm done” or “I want a divorce” — or even “I hate you” — can do considerable damage, even if you don't mean them. Getting angry with each other is normal. But lashing out and saying extreme things in the heat of the moment is just unhealthy, Whetstone said.
They may split and pit family members against each other (toxic behavior), usually by lying for their own personal gain. This form of psychological bullying is quite harmful to family members and may manifest in depression, anxiety, feelings of helplessness, or post-traumatic stress symptoms in many family members.
"If a family member is not capable of curtailing their negative interactions with you or your children after you have asked them to do so, and it is clear your children are not benefiting in some way from that relationship, then there is no point to continue to maintain a hurtful relationship," says Dr. Halpern.
Chapman adds that typically, a toxic person is the product of a toxic environment themselves—so they often aren't even aware of their own harmful patterns. “I always joke that if you have one toxic person in your family, you probably have ten,” she says.