What to do when a narcissist tells lies about you?
If you want to confront a narcissist directly, try sending them an email instead of talking in person so that they can't interrupt or talk over you. If they're not willing to admit their wrongdoing, then it's best to distance yourself from them. Remember that their lies are only going to hurt you in the long run.
A narcissist will spread lies or create embellishments about their victim in order to destroy the individual's reputation. This is a common behavior for those with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) when they realize they have lost control over this other person.
The stories that narcissists make up are designed to support their sense of self-importance, belief that they are special and unique, grandiose fantasies, and need for admiration. Maintaining these aspects of their personality help them suppress all of their painful thoughts, feelings, emotions, and needs.
Why do narcissists tell lies about you and make you the bad guy in their story after the discard?
19 related questions found
Why do narcissists pretend to care about you?
Sense of Superiority
One of the common ways narcissists manage their shaky sense of self-esteem is by comparing themselves to others and convincing themselves that they are better. So, by being or appearing as giving and helpful, they can feel superior to others.
One of the best ways to catch someone in a lie is to try and distract them while they're not telling you the whole truth, a new study reveals. It seems that the extra cognitive effort required to construct a lie and do something else at the same time means the falsehood doesn't stand up quite so well.
This type of person never admits to making a mistake, even when the mistake could be a growth opportunity for your PR team. He or she is often a "people person" seeking attention when things go right, bragging or exaggerating accomplishments, while being quick to place blame and criticize others.
They believe they are morally superior to everyone else. They often don't like the truth, the truth makes them feel bad. They rather like their own perception of the world. Moreover, when they feel their power or control is under threat, they often react intensely and impulsively.
False Accusations. Narcissists will often beat their opponent to court by falsely projecting their issues onto the opponent. This false accusation forces the opponent to be on the defensive and causes the court system to frown when the opponent makes a similar charge against the narcissist.
So if you work with a narcissist, don't try to lower their confidence. Just temper it with humility. Don't tell them they're not great. Instead, remind them that they're human, they haven't succeeded alone, and what sets the best apart is that they're always striving to get better.
A monumental weakness in the narcissist is the failure to look internally and flesh out what needs to be worked on. Then, of course, the next step is to spend time improving. The narcissist sabotages any possibility of looking deep within.
The real reason why simply confronting a narcissist and calling them out for their behavior won't work is simple: they're not actually listening to you. If they truly are a narcissist, they have never been listening, and are especially unlikely to take any criticism or feedback on board.
