Loved-up couples be warned: September has been named the month when affairs are most likely to begin. Overtaking January as the biggest month for infidelity, new research has found those looking to stray are more likely to start an affair in September than any other time of the year.
September was chosen as the most likely month for an affair by 32% of men and 31% of women. January came second - chosen by 24% of men and 22% of women. A third of men (34%) and a similar number of women (31%) said the pandemic had changed their dating habits.
The data that focused on marriage length found that men and women differ when it comes to an inclination toward infidelity over time. Women are most likely to cheat on their spouse in years 6-10 of their marriage, while men are more likely to cheat after year 11 of their marriage.
The stress of the holidays
Since this data has been released, researchers have tried to pinpoint why January, out of all the months of the year, is the most common month for infidelity to occur.
Historic data suggests that men have always been more likely to cheat. But in the 1990s, the infidelity rate peaked among men in their 50s. In that decade, older men were less likely to cheat than those who were middle aged. Then, in the 2000s, the highest rate of infidelity shifted to men in their 60s.
According to the General Social Survey, men are more likely to cheat than women, with 20% of men and 13% of women reporting having sex with someone other than their partner while still married. However, the gender gap varies per age.
Affairs usually begin with an attraction to someone you know fairly well, someone you spend time with each week — your friends and co-workers.
Yet, most affairs usually end one of two ways: with divorce or a stronger current relationship. How the end plays out is up to you, how you choose to react, and how hard you want to work to stay together. Learning how to overcome grief and pain is going to be difficult, but Couples Academy can help.
According to experts, one of the most common causes of infidelity is a sense of emotional disconnection from your partner. As per research from the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, 35 percent of women and 45 percent of men have had emotional affairs outside their primary relationship.
The one thing all cheaters have in common is a lack of impulse control. Unfortunately, they also tend to be opportunistic and have an inflated sense of their own importance. Not only do serial cheaters adopt similar behavioral habits, but they also share a number of personality traits.
How long extramarital affairs last varies: about 50% may last between the period of one month to a year affair, long term affairs may last long-term, for about 15 months or more, and about 30% of affairs last about two years and beyond.
Research from the past two decades shows that between 20 and 25 percent of married men cheat and between 10 and 15 percent of married women cheat, according to professor Nicholas Wolfinger. Read more here.
First, affairs are often a replication waiting to happen. And second, affairs are often forged with the same magnetic power that a marriage is, often rendering the affair as hard to break as a marriage. Thus, ending an affair, especially if it is long-term, may resemble a divorce.
It is a sad reality that adultery is alive and well in our churches. The Rest: Bars, Spouse's friends, Las Vegas, Business trips, the Gym, Neighbors, Grocery stores, etc. People who cheat can meet just about anywhere.
A Coffee Shop: 42% Coffee shops were far and away the top choice, with 42 percent of respondents choosing cafes as their ideal spot for a first meet up. Straightforward, public, and not suspicious — it's easy to see why they're a good first choice.
Inappropriate Sharing. Emotional affairs may begin with conversations about work and other topics but they often shift into more intimate details about your life, relationships, personal issues, and sex life.
There are two main categories of infidelity: Physical and Emotional. An affair is generally considered to be a secondary relationship that is a combination of types and possibly fall under both main categories of physical and emotional infidelity.
Cheaters are impulsive, and can't resist taking that risk despite what it might cost them. Cheaters, like bullies, are fueled by power, and drawn to risk. This kind of behavior, however, is a reflection of something deeply rooted inside of them.
Infidelity does not mean that the love is gone or never existed. The reality is that you can love someone and still cheat on them. In fact, many affairs happen in relationships that are otherwise very happy.
Serial cheaters consistently cheat on their partners, even when they're in committed, monogamous relationships. They often struggle with poor impulse control and a lack of personal accountability. Some serial cheaters experience guilt over their actions, but others show little or no remorse.
Close to 25% of marriages stay together after an instance of cheating. And more men than women stay married when they are the cheating partner (61% vs 44%).
According to the General Social Survey, “twenty percent of men cheat compared to 13 percent of women.” According to LA Intelligence Detective Agency the numbers are somewhat higher. They write that: 30 to 60 percent of married couples will cheat at least once in the marriage.