Receiving Constant Attention, Compliments, & Praise Narcissists rely on praise and admiration to gain a sense of emotional stability that they did not receive in the past. Accumulating these compliments not only satisfies this but also fuels their grandiosity and ego.
Narcissists get a rush of pleasure when they “win.” Unfortunately, pleasure is superficial and fleeting. The pleasure the narcissist feels is similar to that of a drug high. It's an intensely thrilling but ultimately meaningless experience that leaves them immediately craving the next rush.
For a narcissist to be happy, you'll always have to accept their version of events as the truth. Otherwise, you'll be on the receiving end of their narcissistic rage. Even if you do everything they ask, a narcissist will still try and undermine you at every opportunity.
Some narcissists may be very happy with themselves, happy with their lives, happy with their relationships, and may feel content. Narcissists in this category tend to look on the bright side, focus on everything being good, and honestly may not even acknowledge that there is bad stuff going on in the world.
Most narcissists enjoy an irrational and brief burst of relief after having suffered emotionally ("narcissistic injury") or after having sustained a loss. It is a sense of freedom, which comes with being unshackled.
Indeed, we knew from prior work that narcissists fantasize about having power over others, and that their sense of self-worth fluctuates based on others' respect and admiration. To understand what narcissists want, it is critical to examine what makes them feel good and bad.
Their Self-Esteem or Image Has Been Harmed
A Narcissistic injury occurs when a narcissist thinks their self-esteem or self-worth is threatened. Because narcissists have very low self-esteem, they become incredibly defensive and frustrated when their shortcomings are pointed out.
The best way to know if a narcissist loves you is by looking at their behavior over time rather than just relying on words or expressions of affection. If they are consistently putting your needs first, even when it doesn't directly benefit them, then it may be possible that they truly care for you.
Type As can also be dangerous to narcissists
Although they can be targeted, type A people can also become a narcissist's worst nightmare. One of the most important defenses against dark personalities is having strong boundaries yourself, and type A people are usually aware they have the right to build them.
Narcissists can love, but this superficial and momentary affection serves as a way to get what they want from others. While their role as caring partners, parents, or friends may appear genuine, a lack of empathy and devotion to themselves renders narcissists unable to develop meaningful relationships.
Avoid playing their games, and just ignore them when they try to manipulate you so they don't have control anymore. Don't argue with a narcissist because they might just keep escalating things until they get their way. Someone with NPD is incapable of seeing things from your point of view. Just ignore them.
Empathize with Their Feelings
It is extremely soothing to Narcissists when you demonstrate that you understand and empathize with how they feel.
Narcissists' sexual preferences are often very specific. In bed, the narcissist may have very explicit ideas about what their partner should do or even say. They want the narrative to play out in a certain way, and they don't have patience for changes to the script. This has to do with their lack of empathy.
It comes hand-in-hand with this that narcissists hate being criticised or called out. Which is exactly why there's one word in particular narcissistic people cannot stand: "no".
A monumental weakness in the narcissist is the failure to look internally and flesh out what needs to be worked on. Then, of course, the next step is to spend time improving. The narcissist sabotages any possibility of looking deep within.
Sexual narcissists typically demonstrate a lack of empathy for their partner's needs in an effort to serve their own intimacy needs. They may do so while engaging in aggressive behavior, or more generally by ignoring their partner's requests or preferences in order to prioritize their own.
"Narcissists are drawn to those who can boost their own self-esteem and validate their sense of importance," Wasser told Insider. "Being associated with someone who is successful or admired can make the narcissist feel more important by proxy."
They will often deploy a variety of narcissistic relationship patterns such as manipulation, charismatic, and exploitational tactics in order to ensure that their own needs and wants are met. As a spouse, you may be the subject of their manipulation and abuse, while your partner treats everyone else positively.
Although narcissists act superior to others and posture as beyond reproach, underneath their grandiose exteriors lurk their deepest fears: That they are flawed, illegitimate, and ordinary.
Unfortunately for a narcissist, she says, the next person will always end up being boring because time breeds familiarity, requiring the narcissist to look for something new. "They are always waiting for the next new thing," she adds. "You are not boring, narcissists are just bored with everything."
Future faking is a courtship strategy in which narcissists talk to you in elaborate detail about all the wonderful things that the two of you will do together in the future—the cute little restaurant you will absolutely love, how the two of you will explore the most romantic cities in the world, or even how many ...
In a relationship with a narcissist, however, that abuse becomes magnified. For the narcissist, sexual abuse is used to control your behavior, elevate their feelings of superiority, reenact their fantasies (not yours), and paralyze you.