The silent treatment is most strongly linked to narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), used as a tool for control, punishment, and manipulation, but it can also appear in other types like Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) as passive aggression or with certain MBTI types (INTJ, ENTJ, ISTJ, ESTJ) due to difficulty with emotional expression or a need for space, though the intent differs. It's a form of emotional abuse, often stemming from a need to punish perceived slights, avoid responsibility, or exert power, rather than resolve conflict maturely.
Borderline personality disorder (BPD)
People with BPD may resort to passive-aggressive behavior (like the silent treatment) as a response to an intense negative emotion since it offers an outlet for their struggles.
What kind of person gives the silent treatment? The silent treatment is a form of emotional abuse typically used by people with narcissistic tendencies. Being on the receiving end is a punishment worse than death, and it is the weapon of choice of...
Remember, the Silent TreatmentSilent Treatment The silent treatment is a form of emotional abuse typically employed by people with narcissistic tendencies. It More is a form of emotional abuseEmotional Abuse is an attempt to control, in just the same way that physical abuse is More. Talking about it will help.
It's Rooted in Fear, Not Strength While it may seem like the silent treatment is a powerful tactic, it actually stems from fear—fear of conflict, fear of vulnerability, or fear of being rejected.
Silence can mean many things in interpersonal relationships. It's ambiguous. It can express lots of different emotions ranging from joy, happiness, grief, embarrassment to anger, denial, fear, withdrawal of acceptance or love. What it means depends on the context.
Signs of an Emotionally Abusive Relationship
How to respond to the silent treatment
Four Ds of Narcissism: Deny, Dismiss, Devalue & Divorce. As we discussed in an earlier blog post, there's nothing easy about being married to a narcissist.
Common traits of passive-aggressive people include indecisiveness, feigned forgetfulness, pessimism, stubbornness, catastrophizing, poor confidence, procrastination, shifting blame, and frequent complaining about their misfortunes.
People who can't stand small talk usually have these 8 specific personality traits
The 5 main habits of a narcissist center on an inflated self-image, need for adoration, lack of empathy, sense of entitlement, and manipulative behavior, often seen as grandiosity, constant need for admiration, inability to understand others' feelings, expecting special treatment, and exploiting people for personal gain. These traits, rooted in Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), create a cycle of seeking validation, demeaning others, and using manipulation for control.
INTJs are introverted, intuitive, thinking, and judging, making them strategic and future-focused individuals. While they may not seem like the most emotional type, INTJs are known to hold grudges—especially when someone crosses them in a way that undermines their goals or dismisses their intellectual abilities.
Narcissists do not handle challenges or threats to their superior and grandiose self-image (also known as narcissistic injury) well. Narcissists often have an intense need for control and power, and any direct challenge to their dominance may provoke them and lead to more aggressive behavior or retaliation.
The 7 key signs of emotional abuse often involve Isolation, Verbal Abuse (insults/yelling), Blame-Shifting/Guilt, Manipulation/Control, Gaslighting (making you doubt reality), Humiliation/Degradation, and Threats/Intimidation. These behaviors aim to control you, erode your self-worth, and make you dependent, creating a pattern of fear, anxiety, and low self-esteem, even without physical harm.
A narcissist's apology is usually fake, manipulative, and lacks genuine remorse, focusing on shifting blame, avoiding responsibility, and regaining control rather than acknowledging wrongdoing, often using phrases like "I'm sorry if you were offended" or "I'm sorry but you started it," leaving the recipient feeling worse and unheard. They lack empathy and accountability, using these "fauxpologies" to disarm criticism, preserve their ego, and quickly move past conflict to get what they want.
The number one trait of a narcissist is often considered a grandiose sense of self-importance (grandiosity) combined with a profound lack of empathy, where they see others as tools for their own gain and have an inflated, often unrealistic, view of their own superiority, needing constant admiration without acknowledging others' feelings or needs, as highlighted by HelpGuide.org and The Hart Centre. This core creates other behaviors like entitlement, manipulation, and arrogance, making them believe they deserve special treatment.
'Highly narcissistic' people love to say these 7 phrases—here's how to respond: Harvard-trained psychologist
Here, we report a clinical case of NPD to illustrate how ACEs, particularly physical and emotional neglect, combined with early life parental overvaluation, can impair emotional regulation and self-worth, contributing to the development of narcissistic traits.
It is a way to control another person by withholding communication, refusing to talk, or ignoring the person. The silent treatment is often used as a way to punish the person or to control the conversation. It can also be used as a form of emotional blackmail.
But it does provide some rough guidelines as to how soon may be too soon to make long-term commitments and how long may be too long to stick with a relationship. Each of the three numbers—three, six, and nine—stands for the month that a different common stage of a relationship tends to end.
Ignoring a narcissist who is ignoring you can be difficult, but it is the best way to protect yourself. Disregarding their conduct demonstrates that it is unacceptable and won't be condoned. If they continue to ignore you, try setting boundaries or distance yourself from the situation as much as possible.
Recognizing Emotional Abuse
Emotional and Psychological Abuse
The victim may withdraw from social activities, become isolated from friends and family, or experience changes in their mood or behaviour.