Keep communication open
On how to deal with separation, aim to create a peaceful, open and very comfortable dynamic. One of the things to do when separating from a spouse is keeping the channels of communication open. This is especially helpful for couples in which hostility was a problem in the marriage.
It is okay if you acknowledge that you cannot do it alone in terms of saving your marriage during a separation. You can always turn to professional help like marriage counseling or therapy. These are professionals who are trained and licensed to help couples sort through their issues.
To give yourselves the best chance of emerging from a separation period on amicable terms, you both need to commit to open and honest communications. Effective communication can help prevent the types of misunderstandings, wrongful accusations, and the “blame game” that often occurs during separations.
Can you date while separated? Yes. If you're ready to, you are free to date other people while separated. Your separation agreement is critical though because if the timing of the relationship comes into question during your divorce your relationship may be considered as an affair or adultery.
A separation can strengthen a marriage if it's done for the right reasons and if there are clear agreements from the start. Elements of a successful separation that enhances a relationship include getting third-party support and maintaining regular communication.
Some people are ready to date after 2 months; others may need years. Don't rush. It's important to experience the emotions associated with divorce. Give yourself “a little time to think, a little time to grieve, a little opportunity to find someone else,” Sills says.
Maintaining the sanctity of a healthy separation, treat your spouse like a business partner by answering emails, receiving phone calls and reply to text messages. It is not a time to talk ill of each other. Your aim is to give yourself space to reflect without their influence.
Ultimately it's all about how you wish to be seen - whether you wanted the marriage to continue or not." If the separation appears to be amicable, some people might not rush to remove the ring, out of a sense of respect.
Communicating with your spouse during separation is essential if you still want to rekindle the bond that brought you together and re-establish the connection that seems to have been lost.
Whether a couple is formally or informally separated, they are still married. That means that any extramarital relations or dating during this period could be considered adultery.
That said, reconciliation after a legal separation is not especially common. According to U.S. statistics, 87 percent of couples who legally separate eventually get a divorce, while only 13 percent choose to come back together.
Separation can allow both spouses to reconnect with hobbies or other aspects of life they felt were missing during their marriage. If both parties are open to reconciliation, they can use the time apart for marital and separate counseling to help resolve any marital issues.
What's the Worst Age for Divorce for Children? After 3 years old, the potential for emotional trauma appears to peak around age 11. At this point, kids have had a half dozen years of understanding the significance of their parent's relationship.
I have also noted that client's have shown five distinct emotional stages – denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. Whilst this may not be true for everyone, certain feelings and behaviours can often resonate to identify these stages. Denial – A state of “shell shock”, a coping mechanism.
During separation, who pays the bills? As a general rule, household bills should be paid in exactly the same way for the period between separation and divorce, as they were during the course of the marriage. This applies to all the usual types of household expenditure, including: Mortgage/rent payments.
Tax law says an individual legally separated from his or her spouse under a decree of divorce or a decree of separate maintenance shall not be considered as married. Many couples are legally separated but are still considered married under state and federal law.
Statistical research shows that the average length of separation before reconciliation is six to eight months. Thus, it is a safe period when the spouses can cool off and decide whether they want to give their marriage another chance or get a divorce.
Falling in love and divorce
It is also possible to find true love after a divorce. Once a marriage fails and ends up in a divorce, there is nothing wrong with loving again after a divorce. You may even end up making the same mistakes or doing entirely new ones.