Being hard on yourself and having shaming thoughts can come from sources like your family, peers, educational institutions, culture, religion, work places, and other places as well. They can also be a result of being predisposed to certain mental conditions, as low self-esteem can be a sign of certain disorders.
Signs You are Being Too Hard On Yourself
You ruminate on failures long after they're over. Your self-talk consists of harsh criticism and generalizations. When situations don't go as planned, you blame yourself. You keep commitments to everyone but yourself, believing you're not as worthy as others.
Someone with a perfectionist personality is more critical of themselves and others than a high achiever. High achievers take pride in their accomplishments and tend to be supportive of others, yet perfectionists often spot mistakes and imperfections.
Being hard on yourself can ruin your mood, focus, and productivity if you let it. Luckily, shame and humiliation – two emotions that are common with self-criticism — are shown to only last between 30 to 50 minutes.
“Self-critical.” Merriam-Webster.com Thesaurus, Merriam-Webster, https://www.merriam-webster.com/thesaurus/self-critical. Accessed 28 Jul. 2023.
Causes of low self-esteem
Unhappy childhood where parents (or other significant people such as teachers) were extremely critical. Poor academic performance in school resulting in a lack of confidence. Ongoing stressful life event such as relationship breakdown or financial trouble.
Being Hard on Yourself Has Negative Consequences
Self-criticism is such a common component of anxiety that it really could be listed as part of the criteria for generalized anxiety disorder.
Why do we put pressure on ourselves? This is a question with no easy answer, but the most common reasons people put pressure on themselves are because they feel like they have to do well in a certain area of their life or they feel like they have to do well so that people around them will be proud of them.
Perfectionism. Many people slip into perfectionistic habits, not realizing that there is a better way to do their best without beating themselves along the way.
The study then describes the seven traits that can be used to determine if someone is difficult: callousness, grandiosity, aggressiveness, suspicion, manipulativeness, dominance and risk-taking.
People who struggle with generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) often find themselves struggling with low self-esteem. They may have poor confidence in themselves or think they are worthless. This can be a harmful symptom of GAD with long-lasting implications.
You feel like a failure, even though you mostly have your life together. People who are self-critical look at their life and see all the areas in which they're not perfect. They overlook all the things they do right. Tip: Ask yourself what your life looks like to other people.
If you're completely focused on feeling bad about your own problems and complaints, you're feeling self-pity.
What Causes Perfectionism? Perfectionism is driven primarily by internal pressures, such as the desire to avoid failure or harsh judgment.
When stress becomes overwhelming and prolonged, the risks for mental health problems and medical problems increase. Long-term stress increases the risk of mental health problems such as anxiety and depression, substance use problems, sleep problems, pain and bodily complaints such as muscle tension.
Sleep or appetite changes — Dramatic sleep and appetite changes or decline in personal care. Mood changes — Rapid or dramatic shifts in emotions or depressed feelings, greater irritability. Withdrawal — Recent social withdrawal and loss of interest in activities previously enjoyed.
Borderline personality disorder is one of the most painful mental illnesses since individuals struggling with this disorder are constantly trying to cope with volatile and overwhelming emotions.
Self-pity can include ruminating over problems, feeling angry about what life has dealt you, craving the sympathy of others, and unfortunately sometimes falling into a pattern of one upping other people's struggles.
Being hard on yourself and having shaming thoughts can come from sources like your family, peers, educational institutions, culture, religion, work places, and other places as well. They can also be a result of being predisposed to certain mental conditions, as low self-esteem can be a sign of certain disorders.
What is Low Self-Esteem. Low self-esteem is characterized by a lack of confidence and feeling badly about oneself. People with low self-esteem often feel unlovable, awkward, or incompetent.
Give them positive feedback. Tell your friend or relative about his or her strengths, accomplishments and assets. This will let them know that you think they are important enough to remember these things, as well as help them learn to positively reinforce their own behavior. Express your care and concern.