One of the main reasons why a narcissist ignores you is that they want to control you. More likely, they want to regain control of you. A narcissist uses ignoring people as a way to punish them. Especially if they feel like you are pulling away.
Narcissists may use the silent treatment to communicate they are unhappy with you, to control you, or as a form of punishment. If the narcissist uses the silent treatment to deflect responsibility for something they have done wrong, it can also be a form of narcissistic gaslighting.
The most common type of ignoring behaviour is the silent treatment. This involves completely shutting down all communication with the person being ignored and completely ignoring someone who has upset them or made them angry. Narcissists enjoy this form of punishment, giving them power and control over their victims.
Why do narcissists contact you and then ignore your messages? They don't actually want to engage with you or have to deal with you at all. The only thing they want from you is validation that they are important. They will troll, bait and provoke your emotional reaction and then sit back and reap their supply from you.
If you have ever interacted with a person who exhibits strong narcissistic or other dark personality traits, you have likely experienced what is known as the silent treatment.
But here is the rub: Over time, the narcissist usually senses that you are pulling away, and it is then that your problems take on a different form. Narcissists hate feeling that they might be rejected or that you might conclude that they are defective. So, they go into compensation mode by turning the tables.
Indifference & Apathy. One of the clearest signs of narcissistic discard is indifference. The narcissist might suddenly seem cool, aloof, and apathetic towards someone who they've already decided to discard.
At the end of a relationship, a narcissist will often spiral down a long-winded gauntlet of manipulation tactics. They may blame you for causing the relationship to fail, work hard to keep you to stay with them, make lofty promises to change their behavior, or badmouth you to everyone around them.
A narcissist will ignore you for as long as it serves them. There are a few things you need to understand. A narcissist is driven, consciously or subconsciously, by the need for narcissistic supply. The narcissist is inherently lazy and will seek maximal supply for minimal effort.
By establishing boundaries, enforcing consequences if necessary, sharing emotions with others, and speaking up for yourself; you will take away their power, thus protecting yourself from the narcissist's silent treatment.
Narcissists feel totally justified ignoring your texts, but if you do the same to them, you are in for a lot of trouble. They will see your lack of promptness and do something to retaliate. First, they could send you a text demanding to know why you're not responding to them.
They will try other ways to pursue you
When they learn you're not coming around, they will start bothering you again. They will tell you how much they remember the stuff you used to do together and how much they adore you. Just don't give in and keep on ignoring a narcissist.
Well, silence can be a powerful tool when dealing with a narcissist. If they are used to dominating the conversation, silence can make them uncomfortable. You can force them to confront their behavior and make them fear you by remaining silent.
If you didn't know already, the silent treatment is when someone refuses to communicate verbally and/or electronically with someone who is willing to communicate. A narcissist's silent treatment can last for hours, days, weeks, or even months.
Stonewalling refers to a narcissist's refusal to communicate with others, allowing them to preserve control by making their challenger feel guilty, confused, or stressed. The narcissist wants their victim to respond and engage with them so they can twist the situation in their favor and recover from a collapse.
It is never a good feeling when a narcissist walks out of a relationship. They can break up so abruptly that you may be left behind wondering why things had moved to the point of no return. Rather than drowning yourself in self-pity, you need to take proper action.
Put Your Needs First. Narcissists make others feel guilty about being happy because they expect everyone to put the narcissist's happiness first. If you're not constantly praising them or accepting their criticisms that make them feel superior, they won't be satisfied.
Unfortunately for a narcissist, she says, the next person will always end up being boring because time breeds familiarity, requiring the narcissist to look for something new. "They are always waiting for the next new thing," she adds. "You are not boring, narcissists are just bored with everything."
Narcissists require constant attention, admiration, and validation from others, known as narcissistic supply, to maintain their inflated self-image. It is almost impossible to provide a narcissist with the level of supply they require, so when they inevitably feel you are not giving them enough, they may discard you.
It may be they want to see your reaction and how much you care. Often, it's just another manipulation tactic — a break-up game — they use to feel they had the last word and all control in the relationship. Do narcissists come back after ghosting you? Not likely, but they might if they want to gain something from it.
As a general rule, narcissists will come back after discarding you. But sadly, this isn't because they love, care about, or miss you. It is because they want to maintain power and control over you for as long as possible.
Narcissists aren't capable of loving others because they don't know how to love themselves. “Narcissists are unable to see beyond themselves and what they need at any given moment. They don't consider how their actions affect others and they don't care about anyone but themselves.”
It is common for people with a narcissistic personality disorder to regret discarding or losing someone, but it does not mean what you might think. If they feel regret, it is not because they hurt you. It is for losing something that they value. You are a possession, not a real person.
After the break-up, people will experience an obsessive longing for their abusive partner (drug), debilitating emotional pain, and often engage in self-destructive behavior. This emotional response is why some people feel incapacitated by the hurt and obsess about hooking up with an ex-partner for more abuse.