With borderline personality disorder, you have an intense fear of abandonment or instability, and you may have difficulty tolerating being alone. Yet inappropriate anger, impulsiveness and frequent mood swings may push others away, even though you want to have loving and lasting relationships.
The four types of BPD include impulsive, discouraged, self-destructive, and petulant. Each highlights a different aspect of BPD. For example, people with impulsive BPD tend to act without thinking about the consequences. People with self-destructive BPD struggle with self-hatred and suicidal thoughts.
Many people with BPD act impulsively, have intense emotions, and experience dissociation and paranoia when most distressed. This emotional volatility can cause relationship turmoil. Also, the inability to self-soothe can lead to impulsive, reckless behavior. People with BPD are often on edge.
People with BPD score low on cognitive empathy but high on emotional empathy. This suggests that they do not easily understand other peoples' perspectives, but their own emotions are very sensitive. This is important because it could align BPD with other neurodiverse conditions.
There may well be some individuals with BPD who are genuinely manipulative or sadistic, especially those who are very strong narcissistic traits. BPDs have very complex needs, as well as very complex maladaptive coping strategies — and manipulation is one of them.
Is narcissism a symptom of BPD? Narcissism is not a symptom of BPD listed in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5). However, as many as 40% of people with BPD may also have narcissistic personality disorder,4 so people with BPD may also show signs of narcissism.
BPD makes people more likely to engage in impulsive or risky behaviors, such as: Speeding or other unsafe driving. Unprotected sex or sex with strangers. Binge eating.
The actions of people who have BPD can indeed feel manipulative. However, the word 'manipulative', with its pejorative suggestions of malicious scheming, does not capture the true nature of BPD-spurred behavior.
Borderline personality disorder is one of the most painful mental illnesses since individuals struggling with this disorder are constantly trying to cope with volatile and overwhelming emotions.
Compared to non-patients, BPD patients showed the anticipated higher crying frequency despite a similar crying proneness and ways of dealing with tears. They also reported less awareness of the influence of crying on others.
The 3 C's are: I didn't cause it. I can't cure it. I can't control it.
People with BPD are extremely sensitive to their own, and others' emotions and feelings. This makes them incredibly compassionate and empathetic as they really can feel what someone else is going through. As such they make great listeners and tend to be the kind of people you want around after a bad day.
For someone with this type of BPD relationship, a “favorite person” is someone they rely on for comfort, happiness, and validation. The relationship with a BPD favorite person may start healthy, but it can often turn into a toxic love-hate cycle known as idealization and devaluation.
It's a technique often used by those with narcissistic and/or borderline personality disorders to deflect any responsibility from themselves.
Common triggers of BPD rage can include: Emotionally challenging situations that seem threatening. Situations where the person fears abandonment. BPD splitting, which is a type of black-and-white thinking where people see things as either all-good or all-bad.
For both loved ones, and indeed those with BPD a toxic relational dynamic emerges and is repeated in cyclical and patterned ways. This toxic relational dynamic revolves around the punishment and revenge sought by those who have Borderline Personality Disorder.
Relationships & Borderline Personality Disorder
“We also have intense and sudden mood changes, and we have severe difficulty regulating our emotions. Unintentionally, we tend to blame others when we make a mistake, which causes us to be manipulative and cruel to those we care about.”
How Selfishness Manifests in Borderline Personality Disorder. According to HealthyPlace, selfishness in the case of BPD arises from unmet needs: People with a borderline personality often report being neglected or abused as children. Consequently, they feel empty, angry, and deserving of nurturing.
The Victim
Individuals with BPD often feel helpless, hopeless, powerless, and ashamed. When in this state of mind, they may adopt a passive role and draw in others to make decisions for them and support them.
For instance, a study has shown that people with BPD are able to read facial expressions and emotions better than those without BPD. Curiosity – Being extra sensitive and connection emotions, senses and surroundings allows for greater curiosity in the minds of those with BPD.
People with BPD fear abandonment and have trouble maintaining relationships. Nevertheless, they tend to lie, which ruins trust and intimacy, fosters resentment, and harms the very relationships they fear losing. Many family members and friends of those with BPD cite lying as a major problem in their relationships.
Early evidence indicated that outpatients with BPD, compared to non-psychiatric controls, have crucial deficits in the important domains of emotional intelligence including self-awareness, control of emotions, motivating oneself, and empathy [4,5,6,7,8].