At times, you might feel like your spouse is someone you need to corral, organize, and direct rather than a partner. In these situations, the spouse who doesn't have ADHD can feel isolated, distant, overwhelmed, resentful, angry, critical, and accusatory, while partners with ADHD feel nagged, rejected, and stressed.
ADHD Can Affect A Marriage
Sometimes, AD/HD can strain a marriage. The husband without AD/HD may misinterpret his wife's disorganization and procrastination as deliberate offenses. If the wife goes on an impulsive spending spree, it may damage family finances.
It's true: Attention deficit disorder (ADHD or ADD) has strained more than a few romantic relationships. Equally true (though less recognized) is the fact that partners with ADHD are among the most loyal, generous, engaged, and genuinely fun people you could meet.
Since the person who has this condition can be very easily distracted, it may seem like they're being disrespectful to their partner. Or they may say or do something impulsive that hurts their partner's feelings. That's why it's a good idea for the non-ADHD partner to make a “will do/won't do” list.
“People with ADHD generally feel their feelings more strongly, tend to wear them on their sleeve, and tend to act on them more. This can make someone a lot of fun when things are going well, but can cause big strains on the relationship when the feelings being expressed are anger or frustration,” says Tuckman.
ADHD is not the kiss of death. The condition, alone, can't make or break a romantic relationship. But, if symptoms of attention deficit disorder (ADHD or ADD) are not properly acknowledged, treated, and accepted, they can — and often do — create or exacerbate marital tensions.
Life is chaotic. And still, adults with ADHD are completely capable of happy, fulfilling marriages. All marriages have their ups and downs, but if one or both spouses have ADHD, the relationship is significantly more challenging.
Many people with ADHD have difficulty focusing. A person may quickly lose sight of how frequently he pays attention to his partner and the things that matters to the partner. In turn, this can cause the new partner to feel uncared for or ignored. ADHD impacts a person's ability to focus, or remember commitments.
While all kinds of people can fall in love, the experience of people with ADHD falling in love can be more intense for them. This is because the person with ADHD can hyperfocus on the person they are in love with.
Women with ADHD face the same feelings of being overwhelmed and exhausted as men with ADHD commonly feel. Psychological distress, feelings of inadequacy, low self-esteem, and chronic stress are common. Often, women with ADHD feel that their lives are out of control or in chaos, and daily tasks may seem impossibly huge.
Hyposexuality, inability to "get into" sex, difficulty reaching orgasm, and other sexual problems can occur as a result of ADHD. In some cases, they are a side effect of some medications prescribed for ADHD or commonly associated conditions, particularly antidepressants.
The roots of hyperfocus in ADHD relationships are complex, but the end result is often clear: While some partners may feel smothered, many get swept away by the over-the-top adoration. Then, when the obsessive love fades — or, more commonly, ends abruptly — the other partner feels abandoned and keenly bereft.
While alcohol may appear as a short-term solution to restlessness and anxiety often associated with ADHD, heavy consumption can intensify symptoms of ADHD and render some ADHD medications ineffective.
The attentional and emotional self-regulation challenges that can exist for partners with ADHD can interfere with experiential intimacy in several ways. First, the partner with ADHD may be distracted within the experience, missing the moment together.
For patients diagnosed with adult ADHD there tends to be a “honeymoon period”, where they are really happy with treatment. They are excited and like 'wow I feel great' / 'this is so much better'.
Though not often listed as symptoms, other indications of ADHD in girls and women include co-occurring depression and anxiety, difficult romantic relationships that can lead to intimate partner violence, trouble maintaining friendships, and at least one space in her life in disarray (messy house, messy bedroom, or ...
Yes, adults and teens with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) can remain in one monogamous relationship while dating or married. While ADHD brings an additional set of challenges into a relationship, the challenges do not need to be considered overwhelming.
“Love bombing” is defined by someone showering their partner with excessive affection, attention, gifts, and flattery in order to gain their trust and dependence.
Keeping daily life under control takes much more work than others realize. Even if it's not always apparent, ADHD can make someone feel like they're struggling to keep their head above water. Subordinate to their spouses. Their partners spend a good deal of time correcting them or running the show.
The impulsivity, disorganization, and difficulty with focus that are often associated with ADHD can create challenges in communication, trust, and intimacy in a relationship.