Too many compliments come off as being insincere basically. It can give the impression that you are merely “buttering up” the person, or “brown-nosing”… giving compliments because you may feel you'll have something to gain.
Flattery is excessive praise. If you're hoping to borrow your brother's car, be careful not to overdo it when you compliment his haircut, new shoes, and singing voice — he knows flattery when he sees it. As opposed to real praise, flattery is insincere and almost always has an ulterior motive.
The too-frequent compliment.
By giving nonstop compliments, you seem insincere, and even if you genuinely feel this way, it would be best to keep some of those words of admiration to yourself. Also, the downside of giving too many compliments is that people come to expect them from you.
Thirdly, don't overdo it with the compliments. A few genuine compliments are usually better than a bunch of insincere ones. Too many compliments can also make you seem insincere or even desperate. Finally, avoid empty flattery.
Love Bombing: Narcissists may engage in excessive flattery and attention to quickly win you over. They may shower you with compliments, gifts, and romantic gestures, making you feel incredibly special and desired.
Praise we've earned can be motivating and help us build confidence. Narcissists may use praise to control others by manipulating their sense of self-worth and relational security. Narcissists may use praise as love, as intimacy, or as unearned entitlement, and they may pair praise with abuse to disempower others.
Flattery is a type of manipulation. Under-confident people often use it to feel more powerful and to win approval. Passive-aggressive people use it to get their own way. It's widely used by people who want to get into the good books of others, or to help them achieve their own goals.
Research shows that compliments often make the receivers feel better than most people anticipate. Compliments also improve the mood of the compliment giver. People may want to explore becoming more generous in complimenting others.
More often than not, our receptivity to compliments is a reflection of our self-esteem and deep feelings of self-worth. Specifically, compliments can make people with low self-esteem feel uncomfortable because they contradict their own self-views.
Depending on the circumstances, praise may also damage a child's self esteem, or fuel the development of narcissism (Brummelman et al 2017). And of course some children dislike receiving praise. They hate the attention, or feel embarrassed by it. They might regard the praise to be undeserved, or insincere.
Compliments are shallow, generic, and often focused on the giver rather than the recipient. This kind of praise often starts with the word “I” such as, “I like your outfit.” You might think you're doing something nice for the other person by praising their sartorial sense, but you're actually not.
We asked respondents (on average) how often they receive compliments. 25.2% receive them two to five times a week, while 20.4% only receive them two to three times a month. 20.2% hear them once a week, while 20% receive them once a month. Only 9.4% get them on the daily and 4.9% never receive compliments.
Compliments benefit the giver, too. Being in the habit of giving compliments helps us notice and appreciate what's good and what we like in those around us. “So being complimentary helps us create an optimistic, happier outlook,” Berger says.
Manipulatively Insincere praise is given not because it is genuine, but for another motive or agenda. Here's a story about how realizing you have been Obnoxiously Aggressive can lead to a worse place, Manipulative Insincerity — a not uncommon path.
flatterer. A person who lavishes praise, often insincerely; a sycophant: he is not allowing flatterers to deceive him.
In conclusion, compliments feel good because they activate reward areas in the brain, such as the striatum. However, giving people compliments not only makes them feel good, it also helps them to learn and acquire new skills.
Receiving a compliment can have a powerful effect to your self-esteem but giving compliments can also be a beneficial boost to your health. It's a win-win! Smiling, laughter, and praise all release endorphins and serotonin, the feel-good chemicals that can decrease stress and anxiety.
Receiving a compliment can be deeply triggering, especially for trauma survivors.
Be authentic and specific, not hyperbolic.
"Hyperbole or gratuitous praise can cheapen the gesture, making it feel empty and disingenuous. An honest compliment, even if it's a small one, carries more weight," she explains.
But compliments are not only good for the recipients—they're good for the people who give them as well. When you go out of your way to say something nice and give thoughtful praise to another person, it amplifies your self-confidence and nourishes your self-esteem.
As a result, they are unlikely to praise others freely or completely. For example, when you show up sporting a new hair style, they may say something such as,Well, look at you! Youre left wondering, is that a compliment? Praise and compliments may be given, but qualified.
"Narcissists are drawn to those who can boost their own self-esteem and validate their sense of importance," Wasser told Insider. "Being associated with someone who is successful or admired can make the narcissist feel more important by proxy."
The cause is likely complex. Narcissistic personality disorder may be linked to: Environment — parent-child relationships with either too much adoration or too much criticism that don't match the child's actual experiences and achievements. Genetics — inherited characteristics, such as certain personality traits.