Some pediatricians suggest that kids wait until they're 16 to start this kind of one-on-one dating. That's a good place to start the discussion, but every kid is different. Some are more emotionally mature than others. Some teens come from communities and families where one-on-one dating starts earlier or later.
There's no one age when people “should” start dating — plenty of people don't start until their late teens or after, and some people start earlier. But dating when you're 12 means something different than dating when you're in high school or older.
Typically, it's best for children under 13 not to engage in romantic relationships as they are still developing emotionally and cognitively. Healthy friendships are encouraged for teenagers between 13 and 15, but romantic relationships could be too much for them to handle.
Should You Be Concerned? The first time you hear your tween mention that they are "dating" someone, can be a little unnerving, but developing a romantic interest in another person is a normal part of growing up. Unless you notice warning signs for unhealthy behaviors, you generally have nothing to worry about.
Around ages 12-15, people often start having their first kiss. Don't feel pressured by other people your age kissing people, and don't rush into kissing someone if you are apprehensive. You'll know intuitively when the time feels right.
Love is in the air
No need to wait for the official first date to get a little face time, however. Americans agree kids are ready for their first kiss at age 15 (15.1 on average), while on average, they had theirs at age 14.5.
And though for most people it happens young, it's certainly not true for everyone. They found 55 percent of people fall in love for the first time between the ages of 15 and 18.
A relationship age gap bigger than 10 years often comes with its own set of issues. “While there are always exceptions to rules, a good rule to remember is that dating someone more than 10 years older will present challenges now or later that add to the preexisting challenges any relationship has,” he says.
Although not inherently harmful, early dating can put youths at risk for drug use, promiscuity, and other delinquent behavior, experts say. They advise parents not to push the timetable, but to try to understand why a child wants to date and respond with appropriate guidance and limits.
Dating a person with kids is not easy, but if you can make it past all the bumps in the road it's well worth it. Not every situation is the same and you must understand that your partner will need your support and will expect you to understand. They're also afraid; they don't want to chase you off.
“Don't introduce anyone to your parents unless it's a serious, committed relationship,” therapist and relationship expert Rachel Sussman tells Moneyish. “Usually, that's after at least four or five months.”
Totally ok. Kissing at age 11 can be a great first experience! If you are the girl who is wanting to do the kissing, go ahead! Have fun!
As a general guideline, Dr. Eagar advises not allowing single dating before age sixteen. “There's an enormous difference between a fourteen- or fifteen-year- old and a sixteen- or seventeen-year-old in terms of life experience,” he says.
An age gap of 10 years or more is considered a big difference. When one person has a decade more life experience than their partner, the couple might be incompatible. You're likely to have different circles of friends, different interests, and different life goals.
In short, research seems to indicate that in many cultures, an age gap of 1 to 3 years is considered ideal — but some researchers suggest even a relationship with an age gap of less than 10 years will bring more satisfaction.
"Half-your-age-plus-seven" rule
According to this rule, a 28-year-old would date no one younger than 21 (half of 28, plus 7) and a 50-year-old would date no one younger than 32 (half of 50, plus 7). Although the provenance of the rule is unclear, it is sometimes said to have originated in France.
Couples with an age gap of 1 to 3 years (with the man older than the woman) were the most common and had the greatest levels of satisfaction. Relationship satisfaction decreased slightly for couples with age gaps of 4 to 6 years and continued to decrease for couples with an age gap of 7 or more years.
The experience of having a crush can begin as early as preschool, and crushes can continue to occur throughout one's life. Usually crushes are one-way, though sometimes they are reciprocated. In any form, crushes are common among prepubescent kids and satisfy important needs.
When you start thinking about someone else's desires and needs as much as your own, it's a pretty good sign that you are in love, Shaffer says. "You may not necessarily want the same things but when you are in love, you start thinking of the other person's perspective just as much as your own."
Schools typically see this type of behavior as a distraction and inappropriate for a school setting. Most schools have policies that forbid this type of issue on campus or at school-related functions.