The silent treatment refers to the act of intentionally withdrawing from an interaction, refusing to engage further, and shutting the other person out for extended periods of time. When this happens, the person on the receiving end feels invisible, like they don't matter.
The silent treatment might be employed by passive personality types to avoid conflict and confrontation, while strong personality types use it to punish or control. Some people may not even consciously choose it at all.
Silence can mean many things in interpersonal relationships. It's ambiguous. It can express lots of different emotions ranging from joy, happiness, grief, embarrassment to anger, denial, fear, withdrawal of acceptance or love.
There are times this is to be expected — such as when your friend loses someone they love or is having problems with their children, or life is just really busy. But there are also times when our friends need to take some space for no reason at all.
Using the silent treatment is an unproductive way of communicating within a relationship. It can sometimes be a form of self-protection, but at other times, it indicates emotional abuse. People who regularly use or experience the silent treatment should take steps to address it.
Over time, the act of giving someone the silent treatment left unchecked can become a sign you're in an abusive relationship. If you are experiencing this type of behavior in your relationship, it is important that you are also aware of other warning signs of emotional abuse.
When a friend stops communicating, it may not even be about you. Your friend could be going through a bout of depression, anxiety, sadness, or some other hardship. It would be nice if everyone was forthcoming about their mental state. But not everyone feels comfortable asking for help or feeling vulnerable.
The silent treatment is widely regarded as a form of emotional manipulation and even psychological abuse.
You're not a priority.
Maybe they're hard to reach or don't seem interested. Sometimes, there's a temporary reason, like if your friend just had a baby and is busier than before. But if you rarely feel like a priority or if you sense that your friend doesn't think you're worth their time, it's best to move on.
Quiet people are more likely to be introverts than extroverts and tend to be more creative and sensitive than the average person. They also tend to be private people who don't like being in large crowds or socializing much at all unless it's necessary for work or school.
But between friends, silence is a moment for reacting and reflecting on what's been said. Participants used gaps in conversations to think back on their words and on shared memories. Between friends and loved ones, it seems that silence is simply another opportunity to get closer and savour the bond shared.
If someone displays unmanageable emotions and easily flies off the handle, this is a serious red flag. Responding with uncontrollable rage or the "silent treatment" could point to abusive (physical or emotional) behavior in the future, says Trombetti.
Silent treatment can be an immature way of dealing with situations and its practice should not be made a habit of. Imagine you have upset your loved one for some reason and they are angry with you.
1 In abusive relationships, the silent treatment is used to manipulate the other person and to establish power over them. Silence is used as a weapon to cut off meaningful conversations, stop the flow of information, and ultimately hurt the other person.
Being silent as a form of defence
If this happens often in your relationship it is likely that your partner finds it hard to be in touch with their own feelings of vulnerability. Their inability to look at themselves becomes a shield of self-defence and protection.
So, one clear answer to how long should the silent treatment last is to not let it stretch for days, weeks or months. If you hold off communication in a bid to get your partner to submit to your will or apologize, then you're venturing into the tricky territory of silent treatment and emotional abuse.
When you give someone the silent treatment, you are showing them that they are insignificant, unworthy and unlovable. It can greatly deplete their self-esteem, leaving serious consequences. It can cause physical issues as well.
You have little or nothing to talk about
Sometimes, friends drift apart, whether you have less in common or life circumstances have changed. If you have little or nothing to talk about anymore, it may be a sign your friendship as you knew it has come to an end.
Ultimately, there is no one answer of what to do if a friend is ignoring you, but it is important to keep in mind that things are usually not as bad as they seem. Hopefully, you can have an honest conversation with your bestie about ways to repair the relationship and move your friendship forward together.
This may be a given, but there is a wide variety of overwhelming emotions that come with being ignored. Feelings of loneliness, low self-esteem, and despair can occur. The effects of silent treatment as abuse can also contribute to depression, chronic fatigue syndrome, and fibromyalgia.
Narcissistic silent treatment is a type of narcissistic manipulation and narcissistic abuse. Narcissists may use the silent treatment to communicate they are unhappy with you, to control you, or as a form of punishment.
Studies show that feeling ignored in a relationship by a significant person activates the same brain region associated with physical pain. This reinforces the notion that using blackballing as a way of punishing someone in a relationship says a lot about one's character. Research also corroborates this postulation.