According to Goleman, emotional intelligence requires self-awareness—awareness of our own minds and emotions—as well as empathy, both of which can be cultivated by honing our skills of attention.
Most coaching interventions try to enhance some aspect of EQ, usually under the name of social, interpersonal, or soft skills training. The underlying reasoning is that, whereas IQ is very hard to change, EQ can increase with deliberate practice and training.
Emotionally intelligent people know exactly what makes them happy, and they constantly work to bring this happiness into everything they do. They turn monotonous work into games, go the extra mile to make people they care about happy, and take breaks to enjoy the things they love no matter how busy they are.
The four domains of Emotional Intelligence — self awareness, self management, social awareness, and relationship management — each can help a leader face any crisis with lower levels of stress, less emotional reactivity and fewer unintended consequences.
A high EQ helps you to build relationships, reduce team stress, defuse conflict and improve job satisfaction. Ultimately, a high EI means having the potential to increase team productivity and staff retention.
Some people are born with a naturally high Emotional Intelligence (EQ), and some have a naturally high IQ. While you cannot improve a person's IQ, fortunately, you can learn the skills to improve your EQ.
Having low EI means that a person has difficulty recognizing and understanding their emotions and those of others. People with low EI may also have poor emotion regulation and find it difficult to use their emotions to attain personal goals.
Emotional intelligence is a set of skills and behaviors. While some people will be naturally more adept at certain aspects, EI can be learned, developed, and enhanced.
For example, in his 2003 book “A Himalayan Trinity” Mark Oliver (Founder of MarkTwo) identified four fundamental intelligences - IQ, EQ (Emotional Intelligence), PQ (Physical Intelligence) and SQ (Spiritual Intelligence).
The key skills for building your EQ and improving your ability to manage emotions and connect with others are: Self-management. Self-awareness.
Many people believe that this self-awareness is the most important part of emotional intelligence. Self-Regulation – This is the ability to control emotions and impulses. People who self-regulate typically don't allow themselves to become too angry or jealous, and they don't make impulsive, careless decisions.
The model that I present below contains six emotional skills: self-awareness, emotional expression, self-regulation, empathy, social skills, and self-motivation.
As one would have guessed, self-awareness is the first step towards building emotional intelligence. Our internal store of emotional memory — our reservoir of feelings and intuitions — lies at the heart of self-awareness.
Some psychologists believe that the ability to listen to another person, to empathize with, and to understand their point of view is one of the highest forms of intelligent behavior.
Remember, EQ is the ability to identify and understand emotions. Research done by Travis Bradberry, who is the author of “Emotional Intelligence 2.0,” suggests that only about 36% of people have this ability.
A recent study out of the University of California, Berkeley shows that our EQ generally rises steadily throughout our working lives, peaking at the mature age of 60.