A sincere apology should acknowledge the mistakes and try to show that you have learned from them. It can be as simple as saying, “I regret my decision” or “I apologize for my mistake”. It should not sound like an excuse or justify what you did wrong in any way.
If you find yourself in the position of offering a sincere apology, these three appear to be the most important: acknowledging personal responsibility, an explanation for why the violation occurred, and an offer of repair, which may restore the tangible or economic damage that occurred as a result of the violation.
In five chapters, I discuss what I call the five Rs of apology: recognition, responsibility, remorse, restitution, and repetition.
He remembered the three R's – regret, react, reassure.
A quick recap on how to apologize: (1) Acknowledge the action, (2) acknowledge the impact, and (3) acknowledge the intention. Ideally, an apology has all three of these components, no less than the first two at least. Acknowledge the action, the impact, and then the intention.
Don't say things like “I really didn't mean it when I said…” or “I did x because Sally did y…”. It lessens the effectiveness of the apology by making you sound insincere. Shifting blame. Avoid saying things like “I'm sorry you were offended” or “I'm sorry the group felt like I was out of line”.
A humble apology is one in which you admit wrongdoing—“I'm sorry I lost my temper”—showing that you're not above reflecting on your own flaws.
A true apology does not overdo.It stays focused on acknowledging the feelings of the hurt party without overshadowing them with your own pain or remorse. A true apology doesn't get caught up in who's to blame or who “started it.”Maybe you're only 14% to blame and maybe the other person provoked you.
A sincere apology should acknowledge the mistakes and try to show that you have learned from them. It can be as simple as saying, “I regret my decision” or “I apologize for my mistake”. It should not sound like an excuse or justify what you did wrong in any way.
Besides, sincerity was shown through the use of a variety of apology strategies, including acknowledgment of the offense, expression of remorse or regret, acceptance of responsibility, offer of repair, and promise of forbearance.
For example, you could say: "I'm sorry that I snapped at you yesterday. I feel embarrassed and ashamed by the way I acted." Your words need to be sincere and authentic . Be honest with yourself, and with the other person, about why you want to apologize.
I've been under a lot of pressure at work, but that's no excuse for my behavior. I love you and will try harder not to take my frustrations out on you.” Takes responsibility, explains but does not excuse why the mistake happened, expresses remorse and caring, and promises reparation.
A gaslight apology is an apology given that often appears sincere but the person is actually not taking any responsibility for what they have caused.
A genuine apology shows that you feel sorry for your actions and want to do better. It also gives the other person a chance to process their own feelings. You've taken the first step to fix the damage.
An insincere apology occurs when it doesn't involve remorse or regret. Sometimes an apology may make you feel worse rather than offering an opportunity for reconciliation. A false apology can lead to resentment and anger, which may make you feel misunderstood, invalidated, or manipulated.
Frequently, individuals find it hard to stop apologizing once they have started. Try to limit your word count and pack as much meaning as you can into just one or two paragraphs. If your letter is genuine, it should not take more than a few sentences to communicate your message effectively.
Narcissists may use a blame-shifting apology, where they apologize but then shift the blame onto the other person. For example, they may say, “I'm sorry I yelled at you, but you made me so angry.” This type of apology does not take responsibility for their actions and places the blame on the other person.