Oldest child syndrome comprises the behavioral changes exhibited by your firstborn after the birth of their younger sibling. They may show dominating tendencies, develop an unhealthy competitive attitude, and become controlling.
What Is Oldest Child Syndrome? Oldest Child Syndrome is believed by some to be evidence of common characteristics that can be attributed to birth order. These traits of first-born children include a sense of entitlement, responsibility, and ambition.
“Firstborn children can be goal-oriented, outspoken, stubborn, independent, and perfectionistic,” Smelser says, and when you look at the way firstborns are nurtured, it starts to make sense why. “These traits are often reinforced by parents through their interactions with the child,” she says.
As discussed, being dethroned from being the only child to having a younger sibling, they feel at constant pressure to prove themselves. They want to excel in every field, and have the tendency to go above and beyond to please their parents. Simply speaking, they fight hard to get their parents' attention.
Serious/solitary – Babies aren't much fun for the oldest child to play with. Little brothers and sisters can be OK if they are close in age, but the oldest child will prefer his or her peers or parents until siblings are much older. Even then, oldest children can have an aloof, snobbish attitude toward siblings.
Oldest Child - “The Achiever”
As a result, firstborn children tend to be responsible, well-behaved, and possess strong leadership qualities. The oldest children are often held to a higher standard than the later-borns. They are the first of everything, and their parents are going through it for the first time, too.
Eldest daughter syndrome is the burden felt by oldest daughters because they're given too many adult responsibilities in their family before they're ready. Eldest daughter syndrome can make women feel overburdened, stressed out, and constantly responsible for others.
Golden child syndrome, or being a “golden child,” is a term typically used by family, and most often by parents, to refer to a child in the family that's regarded as exceptional in some way. The golden child is expected to be extraordinary at everything, not make mistakes, and essentially be “perfect.”
The oldest child in a family is usually under more pressure, making them more anxious and serious. Parents usually look up to them to take care of their younger siblings, making them more responsible. When the second child is born, parents' attention shifts to them, making the oldest child independent.
The first born may experience certain emotions differently than the middle and youngest child or visa versa. According to Adler, the first born is more susceptible to depression because of high expectations of parents and suddenly losing the attention due to another sibling being born.
Researchers have found a correlation between risk-taking and being the last-born sibling.
As the oldest daughter enters adulthood, she may experience sadness and depression without identifying a reason for either. This state can lead to post-traumatic stress disorder, as well as personality disorders and free-floating anxiety.”
The reason firstborns are under attack is because they are pacesetters. They are the family's glory and honour. If the devil can attack them, he can get the rest of the children in the family. Again, the firstborn has influence over the other children in the family; hence he is meant to be the mentor to them.
“Parents are definitely harder on their firstborn children,” says Dr. Fran Walfish, Psy. D., a child-and-family psychotherapist and author of The Self-Aware Parent. “In a way, the firstborn child is a guinea pig — practiced on.
“They're constantly comparing themselves to others, and how we respond to that impacts their self-concept, which is still developing as well,” says Tracia Finlay-Watson, who teaches physical education instruction at the University of Toronto. “Being first makes them feel special, and they get recognition for that.
Every stage of parenting has its challenges, but one poll reveals what age most parents feel they struggled with the most.
For some parents, infancy is the hardest. For others, it's toddlerhood. Some parents feel that the preschool years present special challenges.
Researchers have found that the baby of the family is often slimmer and less prone to illness. As a result, younger siblings can expect to live longer than their older brothers and sisters.
A family scapegoat is a person who takes on the role of 'black sheep' or 'problem child' in their family and gets shamed, blamed, and criticized for things that go wrong within the family unit, even when these things are entirely outside of their control.
“Parents tend to favour a child that is most like them, reminds them of themselves, or represents what they view as a success of parenting,” she says. “Younger children are most likely to have been raised by a parent who, over time and experience, is more confident and skilled in their child-raising.”
At one point, Gerber recalls a former Professor talking about “burnt child syndrome”. This is when a child is simultaneously rewarded and punished for the same behavior. As a result, they have no idea what to expect or how to act.
The psychologist Alfred Adler developed the family order theory, which says that the order in which a child is born shapes their development and personality. The oldest child is seen as the leader, and the child who may experience a stricter upbringing compared to their other siblings.
Previous studies in the US have indicated that first-born adolescents are more likely to have higher self-esteem than other siblings and only children (18), whereas middle-born adolescent males are found to have lower self-esteem (19).