The most difficult type of insecure attachment is the disorganized attachment style.
Disorganized attachment, also known as fearful-avoidant, is the rarest of all styles, as only around 5% of the population attaches this way. This insecure attachment style mixes anxious and avoidant attachments with unique traits.
People with a disorganized attachment style pursue a loving relationship but then detach or lash out at a partner who gives them that love. It's the rarest and the most extreme form of insecure attachment as it results from very specific kinds of trauma.
In truth, the disorganized attachment style is considered to be the most difficult form of insecure attachment to manage – disorganized adults strongly desire love and acceptance but simultaneously fear that those closest to them will hurt them.
Disorganized attachment style
Also known as fearful-avoidant attachment. Disorganized attachment is the most extreme and least common style. People with disorganized attachment can be seen to act irrationally and be unpredictable or intense in their relationships.
Some studies showed that differences in attachment styles seem to influence both the frequency and the patterns of jealousy expression: individuals with the preoccupied or fearful-avoidant attachment styles more often become jealous and consider rivals as more threatening than those with the secure attachment style [9, ...
In fact, if either partner was anxiously attached, the couple had higher odds of one of them being unfaithful. Those with a partner who had an avoidant attachment style actually had the lowest rates of infidelity.
Which Attachment Style Is Most Manipulative? On the more extreme end of anxious attachment, a person may be more likely to become emotionally manipulative because they will go through as much as they can to make sure an attachment figure doesn't leave them.
Due to the fact that someone with an avoidant attachment style is more likely to end a relationship because it's starting to become serious, combined with their reluctance to re-establish a romantic connection, many people may be wondering how to get over an avoidant partner.
Avoidant Attachment: less likely to fall in love and more likely to engage in casual sex. Adults with an avoidant attachment style typically have a deactivated attachment system. Avoidant individuals do not seek proximity and intimacy, avoid the display of emotions, and appear distant and cold.
There are four principles of attachment theory - secure, anxious, avoidant and disorganized attachment. People with an anxious attachment style are more likely to struggle with self-doubt, fall in love quickly and carry a strong fear that their partner will leave them.
People with an avoidant attachment style can come across as selfish, appearing to put their own needs in front of their partner's needs. When their partner expresses feelings or needs, they might show annoyance or disdain.
Secure attachment is the healthiest form of attachment. It describes an attachment where a child feels comforted by the presence of their caregiver. Securely attached children feel protected and that they have someone to rely on.
People can develop a secure attachment style or one of three types of insecure styles of attachment (avoidant, ambivalent, and disorganized). In order to cope with an insecure attachment style, you can work with a therapist to change your interaction patterns and develop more secure connections.
Most divorce mediations are probably with avoidant/anxious couples. In divorce mediation with anxious/avoidant/ couples (and to a lesser extent with anxious/secure couples), the anxiously-attached spouse may be inappropriately prone to yield ground.
It's usually driven by a person's insecurities, inability to trust and dependence on other people. Although anyone can do it, love bombing is most often associated with people who have an anxious or insecure attachment style or narcissistic personality disorder (NPD).
Thus, it's more likely that narcissists are high in avoidant attachment, which we'll discuss in the next section. Vulnerable narcissists' self-esteem is quite fragile and although they seek the approval of others, they experience strong anxiety as a result of relationships and, thus, tend to avoid them.
People with an anxious/preoccupied style of attachment, who worry and fret about signs and signals that they're about to be left or betrayed, present ideal candidates for gaslighting.
Avoidant / Dismissive
The dismissing / avoidant type tend to believe that they don't have to be in a relationship to feel complete. They do not want to depend on others, have others depend on them, or seek support and approval in social bonds. Adults with this attachment style generally avoid emotional closeness.
Insecure–resistant attachment is characterized by the young child who can signal his distress but has great difficulty getting effective comfort from the caregiver.
Secure attachment style: what it looks like
Empathetic and able to set appropriate boundaries, people with secure attachment tend to feel safe, stable, and more satisfied in their close relationships. While they don't fear being on their own, they usually thrive in close, meaningful relationships.
Results revealed a significant positive relationship between anxious attachment style and both primary and secondary psychopathy; avoidant attachment was significantly correlated with secondary psychopathy alone; and, anxious-avoidant attachment was associated with both primary and secondary psychopathy.
Anxious attachment is what is most often referred to as codependent. Those with anxious attachment often feel as though they would like to be close to others or one person in particular but they worry that another person may not want to be close to them. They struggle with feeling inferior, never good enough.
Many research has reported a direct correlation between low self-esteem and people with insecure attachment styles both avoidant and anxious. Both these attachment styles are also predisposed to anxiety (avoidant) and depression (anxious).
Only among women was a low self-esteem correlated with jealousy. On all three jealousy measures, those with an anxious-ambivalent attachment style were more jealous than those with an avoidant style, with those with a secure attachment style being the least jealous.