Eldest daughter syndrome is the burden felt by oldest daughters because they're given too many adult responsibilities in their family before they're ready. Eldest daughter syndrome can make women feel overburdened, stressed out, and constantly responsible for others.
LANCASTER: Have you heard of “eldest daughter syndrome”? It's the emotional burden eldest daughters tend to take on (and are encouraged to take on) in many families from a young age.
"The Eldest Daughter Effect" shows how firstborn girls become who they are and offers insights that can give them more freedom to move. And parents will gain a better understanding of their firstborn children and can support them more fully on their way.
Oldest Child - “The Achiever”
As a result, firstborn children tend to be responsible, well-behaved, and possess strong leadership qualities. The oldest children are often held to a higher standard than the later-borns. They are the first of everything, and their parents are going through it for the first time, too.
As voiced by many on TikTok, the syndrome can impair eldest daughters' wellbeing and “steal” their childhood as they are rushed into assuming a disproportionate amount of adult responsibilities – also known as parentification.
Eldest daughter syndrome: the TikTok trend that every older sister is identifying with. Are you always lumbered with arranging gifts, calling elderly relatives and making dinner reservations in your family? You've probably got eldest daughter syndrome, says Maddy Mussen.
Spend individual time – Each parent should seek out the undivided attention of the oldest child in a casual, friendly way. Oldest children need the chance to talk with parents without feeling drilled on their homework or other responsibilities, plans for their future or household chores.
“Firstborn children can be goal-oriented, outspoken, stubborn, independent, and perfectionistic,” Smelser says, and when you look at the way firstborns are nurtured, it starts to make sense why. “These traits are often reinforced by parents through their interactions with the child,” she says.
They are expected to be the holder of the family values and guide their siblings, so there is a higher expectation usually because of that. Sometimes it's more explicit and sometimes it's less explicit, but that's often why the oldest child feels a lot of pressure,” she says.
These findings may seem surprising if you've never had an 8-year-old, but there are some reasons a child's eighth year can be especially challenging from a parent's perspective. Eight-year-olds can be stubborn, slamming doors and rolling their eyes, in their attempts to establish their independence and individuality.
Previous studies in the US have indicated that first-born adolescents are more likely to have higher self-esteem than other siblings and only children (18), whereas middle-born adolescent males are found to have lower self-esteem (19).
According to scientists, one theory proposed for why firstborn daughters tend to resemble their fathers is that fathers are more likely to bond with their daughters due to evolutionary biology.
What Is a Parentified Daughter? A simple definition of a parentified daughter is when a daughter plays the role of mother for her own mother; the roles are reversed.
This term may be used throughout the individual's life well into adulthood. It suggests that the youngest child is never fully grown, and may never carry the same level of gravitas in life as their older siblings will. Because of this and other factors, a child may learn to adopt certain adaptive characteristics.
Firstborns tend to possess psychological characteristics related to leadership, including responsibility, creativity, obedience and dominance. They are also more likely to have higher academic abilities and levels of intelligence than their younger siblings.
Obsession, desire for perfection, high self-esteem, or pressure to meet parents' expectations are common signs of oldest child syndrome. Children with oldest child syndrome could show dominance and act as second parents to siblings.
The reason firstborns are under attack is because they are pacesetters. They are the family's glory and honour. If the devil can attack them, he can get the rest of the children in the family. Again, the firstborn has influence over the other children in the family; hence he is meant to be the mentor to them.
The first born may experience certain emotions differently than the middle and youngest child or visa versa. According to Adler, the first born is more susceptible to depression because of high expectations of parents and suddenly losing the attention due to another sibling being born.
“Parents are definitely harder on their firstborn children,” says Dr. Fran Walfish, Psy. D., a child-and-family psychotherapist and author of The Self-Aware Parent. “In a way, the firstborn child is a guinea pig — practiced on.
Society and culture can often place extreme burdens on the first-born child in a family. Being the eldest child in the family often entails additional responsibilities, expectations, and demands.
Although gatekeeping and alienation undermine sons' relationships with their dads, daughters may be at greater risk because they tend to have closer or more enmeshed relationships with their mothers.
Plastic surgeons used facial imaging and 3D computer modeling to study the aging process and found that daughters' faces tend to follow their mothers in terms of sagging and volume loss, particularly around the corners of their eyes and lower eyelids.