Real friends acknowledge that fact, and they effortlessly accept you for who you are. You may disagree on things, but they are there for you, no matter what. On the other hand, fake friends won't be patient enough to deal with your faults and will try to leave as soon as they find themselves in unfavorable situations.
A close friend is honest and speaks from the heart with good intentions. They tell you what you need to hear in a way that you can hear rather than gossip behind your back. A quality friend is trustworthy, not only are your secrets safe with them, but so are your vulnerability, fear, and weirdness.
They make you feel bad about yourself.
A fake friend is not going to uplift you the way a true friend does. Leeds says that when you're around this person, "you may feel insecure, used, or judged." Sometimes, nothing even has to be explicitly said, but you can undoubtedly feel their judgment or disapproving looks.
It's possible a fake friend will change over a long period of time. Fake friends can turn into true friends over time. It's important to take stock of any changes in your relationship. If you feel someone is becoming a better friend, you may be able to continue to have this person in your life.
Our friends can become fake friends when we begin feeling ambivalent about them. Ambivalent relationships cause the most emotional strain, take the most energy, and are the most toxic. But what is an ambivalent relationship? Here are some questions to self-diagnose your ambivalent relationships.
They're never around in difficult times
So, being too busy, citing excuses, or flaking out on you every time you need help or support is one of the unmistakable signs your friend doesn't truly care about you.
They never share anything with you. The opposite is also true. If you find yourself constantly opening up to your friend and sharing your deepest secrets with them, but they never return the favor, they may not consider you a close enough friend to trust you.
“Toxic friendships happen when one person is being emotionally harmed or used by another, making the relationship more of a burden than support,” says Suzanne Degges-White, author of Toxic Friendships. A bad friendship can increase your blood pressure, lower your immunity, and affect your mental health.
'False friendships' describe relationships where someone pretends to be your friend, or is your 'friend' sometimes, but actually uses their power to bully you. Sometimes bullying isn't as straight forward as someone openly being horrible to another person.
They are probably part of a clique instead of a group of friends. Remember, fake friends often resort to peer pressure,2 which then leads to bullying, ostracizing, and other forms of relational aggression. Stress to your kids that true friends like them for who they are.
If you have a fake friend, it's best to break ties with them by distancing yourself or telling them your friendship is over. In the meantime, focus on finding real friends who are truly there for you.
Someone who is a true friend stands up for you. When others try to hurt you emotionally or physically, they do everything they can to make sure you stay safe. They don't care who is trying to harm you; they will defend you anytime, anywhere. If they can help you, they'll do it without reservation or reward.
Unfriending can happen for a variety of reasons. Sometimes, people choose to “weed out” their friends list by removing people they don't know well or no longer keep in touch with. Other times, they may unfriend someone over the content they share, such as differing political views, excessive negativity or spam posts.
Explain how you feel, and why you think you should not be friends any longer. Be honest and straightforward but try and remain as nice as possible. Start the conversation by acknowledging that this is difficult. “This is going to be really hard to say, and probably hard to hear.”
If you feel you need your friend to give you meaning, affirmation, and purpose — in other words, you seek validation from them — it's another sign of being a toxic friend, according to Dr. Klapow. “You are not looking for a relationship that is honest; rather, one that is reinforcing all the time,” he says.
They Tease or Insult You Regularly
The next time your friend insults you, let them know it hurts your feelings. A genuine friend will apologize and stop the behavior. A toxic friend will likely accuse you of being sensitive, insist you're overreacting, or keep emphasizing that it's just a joke.