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There are four distinct phases that these types of relationships typically go through: idealization, devaluation, discard, and hoover. And at times, it may feel like you are on a not-so-merry-go-round going round-and-round through these phases many times over.
Typically, the narcissistic cycle involves over-valuing people whom they refer to as friends (as they are considered potential sources of Supply), using them, devaluing them (when the friends no longer are a good source of Supply), and then inexplicably discarding them.
In other words, the only people who can stand being friends with narcissists are other narcissists.
To ruin your friendship with others, the narcissistic friend will spread gossip or talk ill about you behind your back and act as if nothing happened. In fact, they might end up stealing your dear friends.
Blames, projects, and guilt-trips.
They might also belittle their friend by pointing out their flaws in front of others, taking a minor infraction and turning it into a major event, and highlighting intelligence gaps so the narcissist looks superior. Yet others have not verbalized any such complaints about the friend.
Manipulative narcissists can turn people against you by bringing one or more additional people into an argument, spat, or disagreement that was originally just between you and the narcissist.
Remember, narcissists, suffer from low self-esteem. A narcissist friend may seem confident, charismatic, and cool, but they secretly and desperately desire the approval of others. Narcissists often aggrandize themselves, talking about past and especially future accomplishments.
The narcissist will only enter into a friendship if it will benefit them in some way. Most people will see they are being used by the narcissist and will end the friendship. The narcissist may make friends easily, but they lack lifelong friends.
Discard/Rejection: When the narcissist gets bored or decides the person is no longer useful enough to them, they'll often end the relationship and 'discard' the person. Sometimes, this ending is final.
“People who are narcissistic, they have a pretty big footprint. They have a lot of friends, they tend to date more,” said W.
One of the first things a narcissist does it isolate you from family and friends. They want you to be completely dependent on them and eliminate any support system you have in place.
Stand up for yourself when they cross a line to draw an overreaction. If the narcissist says or does something outwardly abusive, rude, or cruel, don't let them get away with it—especially in front of others. Calmly call them out and explain why they're not being fair. Don't mince your words, but stay cool.
Sociology. "Narcissists will isolate themselves, leave their families, ignore others, do anything to preserve a special [...] sense of self".
Low self-worth/confidence/esteem is at the core of a narcissism. This low sense of self naturally makes it extremely easy for them to become jealous – very jealous. And not just about anyone potentially interested in you romantically, but anyone or anything that can take the focus off of them.
Although narcissists crave control and attention, they sometimes prefer being alone. Many narcissists struggle with other mental health issues, and being alone shields them from having to show this vulnerable side to others.
Narcissists don't like being ignored by anyone or anything. The narcissist perceives your withdrawal as a personal attack. People with narcissistic personality disorder don't understand healthy personal boundaries and won't suddenly have any respect for yours.
She may isolate herself from friends and family and become more preoccupied with her needs. The aging female narcissist may focus more on her appearance and age-related changes. Her interactions with others may become more shallow, and she may seem less interested in others' feelings or experiences.
Don't Be Afraid to Cut Flying Monkeys Out of Your Life
People close to us can sometimes turn into narcissistic flying monkeys. Don't be afraid to cut those people out of your life in order to protect your mental health and well-being and start healing from narcissistic abuse.
They Try to Anger or Irritate You With Gaslighting
Gaslighting is the first response that a narcissist could have when they realize they can no longer control you. Gaslighting occurs when someone doubts or denies reality.
This common narcissistic tactic uses friends and family of the victim to spy on them, spread gossip while painting the narcissist as the victim and their target as the perpetrator. Flying monkeys can be your friends, family, coworkers or the narcissist's friends, family, or coworkers before you got there.