For an older child you might say, "Another kind of unsafe touch is when someone touches you in a “wrong way” on your private body parts and it is not to keep you healthy. So a good family safety rule about touching is that no one should touch your private body parts except to keep you healthy."
These are touches that hurt children's bodies or feelings (for example, hitting, pushing, pinching, kicking, or someone inappropriately touching their private body parts). Teach children that these kinds of touches are not okay. These kinds of touches should be reported to a grown-up.
When people think of child sexual abuse they often assume that intercourse had to have occurred; however, this is not true. Unwanted touching such as groping and touching of private parts is considered child sexual abuse.
Talk about good touch and bad touch
Tell your kids about various kinds of touches. For example, good touch feels caring, like a pat on the head, back, or a bear hug. In comparison, a bad touch can hurt your body or feelings, such as pinching, hitting, or touching any private area.
The basic message is simple: a good touch feels safe and caring, a bad touch feels scary and uncomfortable. In reality it is much more nuanced than that though, especially when bad touches come from people who are supposed to provide safety and comfort.
A good touch makes the person feel good about who they are, affirmed, cared for and supported. A bad touch makes them feel harmed, disregarded, in pain or danger or threatened. A confusing touch makes them feel unsure of the relationship or uncomfortable.
Difference between Good Touch & Bad Touch
Good touch is any kind of physical contact that makes someone feel safe and comfortable. This can include hugs, high-fives, and pats on the back. On the other hand, bad touch is any kind of physical contact that makes someone feel uncomfortable or scared.
Reactions to bad touch:
You must teach them to say no. Children need to know that it's okay to say no, and when to say no. After the refusal, the child who is being abused should know how to overcome the fear of his molester, and scream for help.
This fixation on private parts often occurs between ages 2 and 5, after toddlers get out of the wearing-diapers stage, because they're fascinated with the body parts that they now have more access to, they are learning independence and identity, and they are experimenting with what they can do and how it feels.
It should never make you feel uncomfortable, threatened, intimidated, taken advantage of or assaulted. It should also not result in any type of harm, such as bruising from violence. Any type of touching that is unwanted, violent or makes you feel uncomfortable constitutes inappropriate touching.
About sexual development and behaviour at 10-11 years
But it's common for pre-teens to become more curious about sex and sexuality as they develop. For children aged 10-11 years, sexual curiosity and experimentation might include: touching their genitals or masturbating in private.
Beyond harassment, inappropriate touching can also be considered sexual assault. Any unwanted touching that involves the genitalia or buttocks is regarded as sexual assault, along with other forms of touching that are sexual in nature or are done for sexual gratification.
For example, she could say, “I don't like that and I want you to stop.” Or, “I'm just not interested” or “I'm not comfortable doing that.” Girls should understand that no one has the right to touch them if they don't want it. That includes an arm around your shoulder, a kiss or any kind of sexual contact.
It is a bad touch if that touch makes you feel scared and nervous. It is a bad touch if a person forces you to touch him or her. It is a bad touch if a person asks you not to tell anyone. It is a bad touch if a person threatens to hurt you if you tell.
Children's natural curiosity about their bodies
They may touch, poke, pull or rub their body parts, including their genitals. It is important to keep in mind that these behaviors are not sexually motivated.
By the age of 8 or 9, some children become aware that sexual arousal is a specific type of erotic sensation and will seek these pleasurable experiences through various sights, self-touches, and fantasy.
Remind children that certain body parts have special rules, that no one else should be touching their genitals (with a couple of specific exceptions) and that they shouldn't be touching anyone else's genitals.
Experts say that a child can be taught about it as early as 2 years of age when they can start identifying the parts of their body. By the age of 5 years, the child should be able to understand good and bad touch in a comprehensive manner.
It is important that the child knows right behavior from wrong, and does not consider themselves responsible for somebody else's wrongdoings. You must assure them that the one who touches them inappropriately is the one at fault and that they should not associate and harbor any feelings of guilt with such an incident.
Good touch refers to positive and appropriate physical contact, while bad touch encompasses inappropriate and uncomfortable physical contact. By providing clear definitions and examples, children can develop a better understanding of what constitutes each type of touch.
Depression and anxiety can also arise to the lack of sexual satisfaction in a man's life. Sexual satisfaction is important to keep mental health problems in check. This can even lead to further physical problems like erectile dysfunction.