There are 11.8 million widows in the U.S. and approximately 2,800 new widows are joining these ranks every day. The average age of widowhood in the U.S. is 59, according to a frequently cited figure attributed to the U.S. Census Bureau.
About 2% of widows and 20% of widowers get remarried (Smith, Zick, & Duncan, 1991).
Women live longer than men and tend to marry older men. Among married Americans, 58 percent of women age 75 and older experience widowhood, compared to 28 percent of men. An astonishing one-third of women become widows before they're 60, and half before they are 65.
Studies show that it takes an average of 25 months for a widow or widower to consider remarriage, but this timeline can vary greatly depending on the individual.
It's true that some widowed people do move on too fast, because they're in denial and don't want to face pain; such relationships often bear a cost. Still, even for those not in denial, finding a connection remains a huge human urge.
Often the second year is the hardest as that's when the real grief work might begin. This is the time when you may be ready to face your grief head on and deal with any issues that are holding you back. If you're not ready yet though, don't feel guilty. There is no deadline and everyone grieves in their own time.
The Grief she feels
The very first thing for a widow is the feel of understanding her loss. It's the grief itself. All other feelings are followed by it. It shifts her whole life to another direction.
We can live longer, happier lives but until then, we may have to accept that not just anecdotes, but statistics favour the wives: Men often die first.
With the widowhood effect, older adults who have lost a spouse face an increased risk of dying compared to those whose spouses are living. Causes of the widowhood effect may include self-neglect, lack of a support network, and lifestyle changes that follow the death of a spouse.
Dating a widower can be challenging, especially when you consider the fact that they will always have a strong connection to their deceased spouse. It's important to understand that this is part of their grieving process and something that you need to accept if you want to build a strong relationship with them.
One of the first steps in combating loneliness is being around others who share some of the same interests as you. Try your best to pull yourself out of your grief enough to volunteer a weekend or two each month at a local charity or food bank to help those in need.
Step 1: Take Care of Immediate Things
In addition to managing your grief, you will have to handle certain affairs immediately. Notifying family members, loved ones and family advisers will likely be one of the first things you must do. Decisions about organ donation and funeral arrangements will be the hardest.
It is common for widows to wear their wedding ring on their right ring finger rather than their left ring finger. This is a way to symbolize moving forward while still keeping the memory of your marriage close.
There is no rule that says you cannot wear your wedding ring after your spouse is deceased. If you feel more comfortable wearing it, then wear it. However, you may want to consider taking it off to fully move on with life. Your ring may serve as a reminder of your husband and your relationship.
Up to you. Stereotypes say that men date sooner and remarry more quickly than women do, and there is statistical validity in this. Average time frame for widowers who remarry is about two – three years while for widows, it's three to five years.
There is no "right or wrong" about when you'll be ready. Many people are ready months after the death of their partner, and for others, it takes years. The most important thing is that you have this conversation with yourself, and aren't trying to satisfy someone else's idea of when you're ready (or not).
But the widowhood effect is generally believed to be a problem primarily affecting closely bonded elderly couples. However, a study published Mar. 22 in the journal PLOS One finds that younger people—especially men—are even more at risk.
The sad image of a grieving widow may not be entirely accurate, according to a study published on Tuesday showing that six months after the death of their partner, nearly half of older people had few symptoms of grief.
Widow's fire describes the (sometimes) uncontrollable and all-consuming desire for sex following bereavement.
Widow Brain is a term used to describe the fogginess and disconnect that can set in after the death of a spouse. This feeling is thought to be a coping mechanism, where the brain attempts to shield itself from the pain of a significant trauma or loss.
Grief or bereavement releases the hormone cortisol in reaction to stress that breaks down tissue and, in excess, can lead to collagen breakdown and accelerated aging. High cortisol levels prompt the skin's sebaceous glands to release more sebum. This in turn results in clogged pores, inflammation, and an increase in p.
Two years on
For most people their mourning period is a long process and it can take years. After about two years you are likely to know the places, events and occasions that trigger your emotions. As you start to know these, you will also learn what helps you to cope with them.
With wisdom and support, a widow can doubtlessly survive the grieving process. It is always possible to move forward and enjoy a meaningful and transformed life. Also, your late wife or husband would not want to see you miserable. They would want you to move on with life and be happy.