Anger and resentment is incredibly common in the grieving process, especially in a separation. While your ex-partner is the most likely (and probably justified) target of your anger, you may also feel resentment towards parents, in-laws, friends, and even yourself or your children.
During the anger stage of grief, you might start asking questions like “Why me?” or “What did I do to deserve this?” You could also feel suddenly angry at inanimate objects, strangers, friends, or family members. You might feel angry at life itself.
xi The arousal cycle of anger has five phases: trigger, escalation, crisis, recovery and depression. Understanding the cycle helps us to understand our own reactions and those of others.
Anger is a common emotion to feel during the divorce experience. It speaks to the intensity of affection you had during your marriage, and when that ended, there was no other way to express the sudden change in the physical, mental, and emotional makeup of your life.
Individuals may go through several stages of mourning or grief. The emotional intensity of this period usually reaches a peak within the first six months of separation. However, the grieving process may take as long as two years.
Divorce puts a strain on the financial, social, and emotional relationships of the partners. This time particularly can be devastating for women who may lose confidence, be forced into custody issues, and may lose hope of ever finding happiness again. Some women find it hard to return to their normal self again.
Health Issues
While both genders see a rise in deaths following divorce, the rate for men is 1,773 per 100,000, compared to 1,096 for women. Sociologists hypothesize that one reason may be that men have less practice, and therefore fewer skills, when it comes to taking care of themselves.
According to a 2013 study conducted by researchers at London's Kingston University, the majority of women were significantly happier than they'd ever been after divorce. The study surveyed 10,000 men and women over the course of two decades.
The study found that on average unhappily married adults who divorced were no happier than unhappily married adults who stayed married when rated on any of 12 separate measures of psychological well-being. Divorce did not typically reduce symptoms of depression, raise self-esteem, or increase a sense of mastery.
Enraged. This is the stage when you feel completely out of control. You may exhibit destructive behavior when your anger reaches this point, such lashing out physically, excessive swearing, or threatening violence.
Emotions that can Trigger
Because anger is easier to feel, it can distract you from experiencing and healing the pain you feel inside. Among the most triggering primary emotions is frustration. Frustration is often experienced when you are feeling helpless or out of control.
A common cause of anger when it comes to grief is the individual's reluctance to accept that they have to continue life without their loved one. You can also get to the root of your anger by exploring other difficult emotions; these include sadness and fear.
Remember, anger is a natural part of grief. Suppressing or swallowing feelings delays coping and moving forward. Voicing your feelings, expressing anger and any other emotions, is empowering, strengthening, and helps us cope.
While you're grieving a loss, particularly if it was an unexpected one, you might find yourself feeling extremely angry. Anger is a defense mechanism that helps us feel in control and avoid our helplessness and grief.
Life after divorce is filled with overwhelming emotions. Many women feel a combination of anger, fear, resentment and confusion. They may even feel shame or guilt, even when they don't deserve to. When I went through my divorce, I felt many of these same emotions.
After divorce is a very challenging and overwhelming time in a person's life. It's an emotional roller coaster ride that no one wants to ride alone. It is also hard to adjust to being single again, as well as living “out of the habit” of being married, especially if you have been married for many, many years.
On average, a third of divorced couples regret their decision to end their marriage. In a 2016 survey by Avvo.com, researchers interviewed 254 women and 206 men and asked how they felt about their divorce. They found out that 27% of women and 32% of men found themselves regretting divorce.
It is no surprise, then, that marital infidelity is a leading cause of divorce. Just how common is marital infidelity? According to a study from the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, as many as 25 percent of married men and 15 percent of married women have had extramarital affairs.
Lack of commitment is the most common reason given by divorcing couples according to a recent national survey. Here are the reasons given and their percentages: Lack of commitment 73% Argue too much 56%
According to a survey from Ramsey Solutions, fights revolving around money are the second leading cause of divorces in the U.S., with infidelity being the leading cause. The combination of ineffective communication and debt often causes stress around financial situations, leading many couples to seek a divorce.
The rate for women was significantly lower, at only 19.4 per 1,000 women eligible for remarriage. This data indicates that men are consistently more likely to attempt a second marriage than women. Over the past decade, there has been a decline in remarriage rates for both men and women.
The act of adultery continues to be one of the most common reasons for divorce.
Most states no longer have a waiting period before you can get married again after a divorce, but not so long ago divorced people would have to wait up to a year in some states before they could remarry.