If the relationship is over, the partner living with BPD could spiral down into thoughts of low self-worth and experience symptoms of depression. They may tell themselves they're worthless or experience such volatile emotions that they engage in some behaviors that may put their safety in jeopardy.
Instability is another issue that sometimes affects people in BPD relationships. People with BPD are prone to mood swings, which can make the relationship go from great to grueling and back again. They may also have issues with intimacy which can lead to trouble maintaining a partnership.
Stage 6: In this stage, the relationship is over. The individual with BPD tends to blame themselves for the breakup and may experience an increase in depression, anxiety, anger and self-harming behaviors.
There's also a lot of anecdotal evidence from other people's experiences that suggest 2-4 years is more common. So, if you want to know how long your relationships might last if you have BPD, it really does depend on the intensity of your condition.
Borderline personality disorder can impact relationships.
“Relationships with an untreated BPD individual can feel exhausting, a never-ending process of putting out fires,” says Gilbert. Sometimes those with BPD are aware of how their symptoms can be destructive to relationships.
People with BPD have a lot of difficulty in relationships, but that doesn't mean they're incapable of love. Unstable emotions often lead to unstable relationships, while black-and-white thinking may make a person with BPD push people away when there is evidence their partner has flaws.
In fact, breaking up may be a part of a borderline personality relationship cycle that people can find themselves in. Because people with BPD have a hard time understanding themselves and others, they may act impulsively out of fear, jealousy, or rage.
Dating someone with BPD doesn't have to feel draining. If you are feeling like that, you are not alone and it isn't a sign that you don't love your partner. It takes time to learn how to communicate and be with people who are struggling but it's possible to have a healthy and happy relationship.
They may even obsess over their new partner, convinced this is the perfect person for them. The relationship is mostly positive but can move quickly, given the impulsivity among people with BPD.
It's hard to fully explain just how out of control and broken you can feel during this process unless you are familiar with the intense emotional tug of war that happens with BPD. Sadly, it usually becomes toxic, both for you and the other person, and too often it ends in tears and regrets.
BPD splitting destroys relationships because the behaviour can be impulsive or reckless in order to alleviate the pain, often hurting loved ones in the process. It can feel like everyone abandons or hurts them, often causing them to look for evidence, and creating problems from nothing.
Someone with BPD might also push someone away in order to “test” whether the person will stay with them or come back to them after being pushed away.
Maintaining a relationship with a friend or family member with BPD can be difficult. However, it's important to understand that people with BPD often engage in destructive behaviors not because they intend to hurt you but because their suffering is so intense that they feel they have no other way to survive.
…these are red flag behaviors of: fear of abandonment, inappropriate or intense anger, impulsivity, patterns of unstable/intense relationships, and emotional dysregulation.
At the end of the day, people with BPD can fall in love; it just takes some work from both sides of the relationship. Treatment is the first step — options may include: Individual and couple's therapy. Medication.
Loneliness may be common with BPD, but it's not impossible to overcome. There are many strategies you can use to feel less alone, such as joining a support group, taking classes, caring for an animal, and finding new ways to communicate with your loved ones. You may also want to consider engaging in therapy.
Relationships are one of the most common triggers for people with BPD. People with the disorder tend to experience a higher than usual sensitivity to being abandoned by their loved ones. This leads to feelings of intense fear and anger.
BPD is considered to be one of the most serious mental illnesses, as it causes a great deal of suffering and has a high-risk for suicide.”
Myth #5: People with BPD are unsuitable for intimate relationships. Fact: People with BPD have many positive things to contribute to fulfilling relationships. When trust and love has developed within a relationship, people with BPD can show high loyalty and trustworthiness.
Yes, those living with BPD often experience heightened emotions and fears of abandonment, but that certainly doesn't make them unlovable, let alone monstrous. A relationship with someone who lives with BPD is just like any other; it depends on many of the same factors such as trust, understanding and communication.
Loving someone with borderline personality disorder isn't easy. Watching your loved one struggle with deep inner turmoil, negotiating a fluctuating sense of identity, and experiencing such profound rawness of emotion can be painful. Often, even everyday interactions can be laden with potential hazards.
Splitting is triggered by anything that causes a person with BPD to take an extreme emotional viewpoint. The trigger could be something that seems harmless or “innocent” but is enough to spur emotions that a person with BPD is not able to handle.
Individuals with BPD feel their emotions intensely and may believe that their perceptions reflect reality. Some signs that a person is splitting include: idealizing someone one moment, then later calling them abusive or toxic. not seeing nuance in the relationships or actions of others.
Individuals with BPD often fill an emotional void in their partner's life. With their charm and undivided attention, you may have felt exceedingly happy when the relationship was going well. With the source of fulfillment gone, you may feel empty, which can make it more difficult to move on.