I call this the 90/10 rule. In a nutshell, when one person in a relationship gets to work training their emotional patterns, about 90% of the time their partner or spouse recognizes the change and, even if initially resistant, they begin their own journey of growth.
The 90-10 rule is about making it clear—through words, actions, body language, whatever tools you have—what you want to do, and then letting the other person decide if it's what they want too. If she doesn't "come the other 10," there's no kiss.
Under the 90/10 Rule, you base where you should live on the factors that will affect 90% of your life. (The “90” and “10” numbers are not to be taken literally here; instead, they stand in for “the majority of your life” and “the minority of your life,” respectively).
The 90/10 principle says that 90% of the reason you react a certain way to your partner, is something that you brought to the relationship. It's your “stuff,” the baggage from childhood and previous relationships.
The 80/20 relationship theory states that you can only get about 80% of your wants and needs from a healthy relationship, while the remaining 20% you need to provide for yourself. Sounds like the perfect excuse to treat yourself to a spa day. This idea of an 80/20 time split is nothing new.
The 90/10 investing strategy for retirement savings involves allocating 90% of one's investment capital in low-cost S&P 500 index funds and the remaining 10% in short-term government bonds. The 90/10 investing rule is a suggested benchmark that investors can easily modify to reflect their tolerance to investment risk.
The 90-day dating rule suggests waiting 90 days after you start dating someone to have sex with them. Both men and women can follow the 90-day dating rule as it's intended to help develop close and long-lasting relationships.
The 90-day rule suggests that you should wait three months after you start dating someone before you have sex with them. While some people find it archaic and old-fashioned, for many, sex initiates bonds that are more complicated to breach.
Give, and Expect Nothing in Return
Only if you take 100% responsibility for your actions can you foster a stable relationship. Expecting the other person — your partner, friend, teammate, etc. — to do 50% of the work is doomed to fail.
A 50/50 split means that each person gives the exact same amount of themselves—fully. Partners base their giving on sameness and equality rather than the needs of the relationship. In couples therapy, I tell couples that their relationship is the primary client.
The theory of Dunbar's number holds that we can only really maintain about 150 connections at once.
What Is The 60/40 Rule In Relationships? You see, most people think a good relationship is a 50/50 proposition. If, however, both partners instead focus on giving 60% and taking just 40%, the relationship has an overwhelming chance of being successful. Think of this as the “golden rule” of relationships.
The 5-5-5 method is simple, according to Clarke. When a disagreement comes up, each partner will take 5 minutes to speak while the other simply listens, and then they use the final five minutes to talk it through.
Half age plus seven rule: In dating/romantic/intimate relationships, the age of the younger person should not be less than half the age of the older person plus seven years.
The rule suggests the younger person in a relationship should be older than half the older person's age plus seven years in order for the relationship to be socially acceptable.
The 2-2-2 Rule involves going on a date night every two weeks, spending a weekend away every two months and taking a week-long vacation away every two years. The idea behind it is that prioritizing and planning to spend time together strengthens your relationship.
Dating gurus on TikTok recommend a new rule to weed out incompatible partners. They call it the three-month rule, where people can evaluate potential partners for 90 days. They recommend not exclusively dating someone — or even kissing them — for these first months.
The 90-day rule is an EU rule, with sanctions including fines, passport stamps and deportation for people who overstay their 90-day limit. However, enforcement of the rule is left to each individual country, and there is some variation between countries on the sanctions they impose and how strict enforcement is.
“My 333 strategy is based on dating three people, at the same time, for three months, and giving them three chances if something bothers you comes up. A chance to talk about it and see if you can work through things together to help break out of falling into disposable dating traps too.
Coan advises every couple to adhere to the 70/30 rule: For the happiest, most harmonious relationship, the pro suggests spending 70% of time together, and 30% apart. That gives each of you enough freedom to explore your own interests while still being rooted and invested in your relationship.
You can live by the 3-6-9 rule. That means no big decisions about a relationship, or about sex, until you've been seeing each other for 3 or 6 or 9 months. (And it's safer to stick with 6 or 9 months before you start seriously considering really big decisions, like having sex.)
This technique asks you to find five things you can see, four things you can touch, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste. Using this with someone who feels anxious will help to calm them down and reduce their feelings of anxiety.
1. Respect Each Other. The first rule to keeping a strong, romantic relationship is to treat your loved one with respect. You have to respect your partner's time, heart, character, and, of course, his or her trust.
Six degrees of separation is the idea that all people are six or fewer social connections away from each other. As a result, a chain of "friend of a friend" statements can be made to connect any two people in a maximum of six steps. It is also known as the six handshakes rule.
Couples with an age gap of 1 to 3 years (with the man older than the woman) were the most common and had the greatest levels of satisfaction. Relationship satisfaction decreased slightly for couples with age gaps of 4 to 6 years and continued to decrease for couples with an age gap of 7 or more years.