During no contact, a woman's thoughts shift from initial relief/anger to confusion, curiosity, and eventually longing or reflection, as she questions why you're silent, misses shared good times, checks your social media, and confronts the reality of the breakup, often leading to wondering if she made a mistake or if you've moved on. Her feelings evolve, but the silence disrupts her expectations, making her think about the relationship and you more intensely, even if she initially feels free.
Breakup & healing coach Amy Chan says that you should completely cut your ex off and avoid them on all social media platforms for as long as it takes for you to begin healing. There is no fixed amount of time required for this, but most experts recommend taking anywhere from 21-90 days before trying to reconnect.
No contact works because it creates absence, and absence makes people notice what they've lost. But here's the thing — your ex missing you during no contact doesn't mean they're going to reach out. Over 60% of people who implement no contact report their ex never initiated contact. So yes, they might miss you.
➡️ Curiosity: YOU haven't reached out. You're not chasing. Now they're wondering why. They start to check your stories, ask your friends how you are doing, etc. ➡️ Concern: They start to miss parts of you. They remember the good parts of the relationship now. They wonder if they made a mistake.
And similarly, if they're starting to get more affectionate and emotional in their messages to you... like, for instance, if they say ``i miss you'' or tell you that they're lonely or struggling with the breakup... that's another very strong indication that No Contact is working exactly as intended.
Signs the spark is gone in a relationship often involve a decline in physical intimacy (less sex, touching, kissing), reduced or negative communication (criticism, stonewalling, no deep talks), emotional distance (feeling detached, irritable), and a lack of shared enjoyment or effort (avoiding time together, no dates, less interest in the future). It's a shift from excitement and vulnerability to routine or resentment, where the desire for deep connection and shared passion fades.
The hard truth is that your ex's thoughts during no contact are less about missing you and more about processing the end of the relationship. They go through stages – relief, curiosity, comparison, and eventually acceptance or confusion.
Breadcrumbing is when a person gives you enough attention to "string you along" or makes you think they are interested in you. They will pop into your life and then disappear just as quickly. This behavior can make you feel hopeful but then confused and hurt.
1) They have fully accepted the breakup
One of the clearest signs that a breakup is final is when both people have truly accepted that it's over. At first, breakups can be messy, with one or both partners holding onto hope that things might change.
Think of them more as signals of high interest and not necessarily guarantees for reconciliation.
13 signs she is testing you
You can tell if a guy is thinking about you if he texts you good morning and good night, he sends you random short messages all day, he asks you a lot of questions about you, he likes and comments on your social media posts, or he messages you when he's hanging out with his friends.
Here are 14 tips for how to give someone space.
Generally speaking, though, Juarez divides break-ups into three tiers based on what she's seen in her practice: To overcome a “big breakup” (a relationship of three to 10 years), it may take six to 12 months; a “mid-breakup” (a relationship of nine months to two years) may take three to six months; and a “mini-breakup” ...
There's no maximum. Some people do no contact for years and never hear from their ex again. That's called moving on, and it's a good thing. If you're asking about a maximum limit, you're still waiting for your ex instead of building a new life.
But it does provide some rough guidelines as to how soon may be too soon to make long-term commitments and how long may be too long to stick with a relationship. Each of the three numbers—three, six, and nine—stands for the month that a different common stage of a relationship tends to end.
Here are some signs your breakup is temporary:
The "3-3-3 rule" for breakups is a guideline suggesting 3 days for emotional release, 3 weeks for reflection, and 3 months for intentional rebuilding/healing, helping people process a split in stages. It's a simplified framework for managing grief, contrasting with longer models, and aims to create space for personal growth by focusing on self-improvement and gaining perspective after the initial shock of the breakup, though individual healing times vary greatly and aren't set in stone.
There's no emotional connection
If you are no longer vulnerable and open with your partner, it's hard to tell if the relationship is worth saving. If you're not sharing what's really on your mind, it might be a sign that you no longer want a deep connection.
Physical and Emotional Withdrawal
A decrease in physical affection – fewer hugs, kisses, or intimate moments – often parallels emotional withdrawal. Someone planning a blindsided breakup might unconsciously begin physically distancing themselves as their emotional connection fades.
The "72-hour rule" after a breakup generally means implementing a period of no contact for at least three days (72 hours) to allow intense emotions to subside, enabling clearer thinking and a less impulsive reaction, whether that's reaching out or making big decisions. This time helps move you from shock into processing, calming the brain's emergency response, and setting a healthier foundation for recovery and deciding next steps, preventing you from acting solely from heartbreak.
What do breadcrumbers want? Breadcrumbers typically want the validation and good feelings associated with having someone interested in them, but they don't want to make any real commitment. They want to keep you on the hook, but they're only interested in communicating with you when it benefits them.
This may sound too good to be true, but trust me, the intense emotions that your ex will feel when you suddenly vanish from their life can often be enough to make them take you back all by itself. Even if that doesn't happen, silence by itself is a powerful tool that can make your ex desperate to have you back.
Exes may return in some cases. Since couples break up for various reasons, the circumstances of a breakup may impact the potential for reconnection. A recent study showed that 44% of Americans have gotten back together with one of their exes after breaking up with them.
The Stages Of Getting Back Together With An Ex