Parentification or parent–child role reversal is the process of role reversal whereby a child or adolescent is obliged to act as parent to their own parent or sibling. Two distinct types of parentification have been identified technically: instrumental parentification and emotional parentification.
What Is a Parentified Daughter? A simple definition of a parentified daughter is when a daughter plays the role of mother for her own mother; the roles are reversed.
Other signs of parentification may include acting as a mediator between parents, being complimented on being mature or responsible by outsiders, struggling to show emotions due to fear of a parent's response, and feeling more emotionally mature than a parent.
Parentified children may experience anxiety, depression, and other psychological and physical effects. The impact can be lasting and might continue into adulthood. In certain cases, some degree of parentification may have positive effects, such as building resilience and competency.
Many eldest daughters are subjected to a form of parentification, which Healthline defines as a type of dysfunction wherein kids take on traditional parenting roles in the household: “Instead of giving to their child, the parent takes from them. In this role reversal, the parent may delegate duties to the child.
However, there are often negative effects of parentification in childhood. Many parentified children can grow up with higher levels of anxiety, depression, eating disorders, and obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD).
You can heal from parentification by seeking support and treatment. Of course, you might struggle to get help or trust others if you were parentified. You might need to practice asking for help and trusting others. Support groups can be a great place to begin to hear the stories of others who have similar issues.
Parentified children may experience a range of difficulties in adulthood: difficulties with relationships, poor boundaries, anxiety.
Parentification can occur when one or both parents have mental health issues and it seems to be common in narcissistic families where the family is structured around getting the needs of parents met, rather than providing a healthy environment where children are nurtured.
Often parentified children are the oldest or middle in the birth order. Children of all genders can become parentified. Children as young as two or three may start to take on parenting responsibilities by comforting or feeding their younger siblings.
In extreme cases of parentification, it is considered neglect and emotional abuse, because the parent abdicated their responsibility to provide physical and emotional support for their own children.
Eldest daughter syndrome is the burden felt by oldest daughters because they're given too many adult responsibilities in their family before they're ready. Eldest daughter syndrome can make women feel overburdened, stressed out, and constantly responsible for others.
Often parentified children are the oldest or middle in the birth order. Children of all genders can become parentified. Children as young as two or three may start to take on parenting responsibilities by comforting or feeding their younger siblings.
In addition to being burdened with numerous tasks, the children are left alone to deal with their own development and meeting their needs. Paradox- ically, the parentified children experience loneliness even though they func- tion within the family – which should be their closest environment.
Individual Counseling: Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
Children (and adults) who suffer from the long-term effects of parentification may benefit from individual counseling with a licensed mental health professional.
One study published in 2020 revealed that some children may benefit from parentification. Research published in the Journal of Child and Family Studies suggests that parentification may give some children feelings of competence, self-efficacy, and other positive benefits.
Parentification is a form of invisible childhood trauma. Parentification occurs when the roles between a child and a parent are reversed. You know you were parentified if as a child you have to step up as the caretaker, mediator, or protector of the family.
It is a clear – and unfortunate – role reversal when children have to give their parents emotional support instead of the other way around. It is called “parentification.” This is similar to “adultification,” which occurs when parents expose children to adult responsibilities. Some use the terms interchangeably.
What is Malicious Parent Syndrome? Malicious Parent Syndrome (MPS) is a type of vengeful behavior exhibited by some divorcing or separated parents. It occurs when a parent deliberately tries to place the other bad parent in a bad light and harm their child's relationship with them.
When the roles of a mother and daughter become entangled, this is described as an enmeshed relationship. In an enmeshed relationship, a mother provides her daughter love and attention but tends to exploit the relationship, fortifying her own needs by living through her daughter.
The opposite end of the spectrum is “infantilization,” a child who under-functions in a parental role but is fulfilling the parent's emotional needs of being a dependent child (Jurkovic et al. 1999). The two categories, “healthy non-parentified” and “adaptive parentified,” complete the continuum.