Narcissistic silent treatment is when a narcissist ignores and avoids interacting with you to punish, control, or communicate that they are unhappy with you. It's a form of manipulation, and this toxic behavior can negatively impact the victim psychologically and emotionally.
Essentially, the point of the silent treatment is to make the victim feel confused, stressed, guilty, ashamed, not good enough, or unstable enough so that they would do what the manipulator wants.
A narcissist's silent treatment can last for hours, days, weeks, or even months. Our survey among 500 people who have experienced narcissistic abuse revealed that on average, a narcissist's silent treatment lasts four-and-a-half days and usually ends when the narcissist needs more narcissistic supply.
If you ignore a narcissist and deny them their source, they may become enraged and try even harder for your attention – especially in ways that can be toxic or abusive. Ignoring a narcissist will enrage them because of their fragile egos. They'll feel humiliated and lash out against you to protect themselves.
If done in a friendly, gentle manner,these gestures sends the message that you aren't taking them so seriously and it gives them permission to back down and not take themselves so seriously. If your colleague or boss has no sense of humor, or is truly a narcissist, this will backfire, so be careful!
Narcissists need control, which is often the reason why they ignore people. They do not like to feel vulnerable or exposed and will use their power to forgive someone for maintaining that control. Unfortunately, narcissists also lack empathy, so it can be challenging to understand how their behaviour affects others.
Often, a narcissist will retaliate by ignoring you. This is a means to punish you for puncturing their delusions. They're also avoiding you because a narcissist's sense of self is too unstable to resolve conflict. They are putting you in a position to make you desperate for their approval.
Why Is the Silent Treatment Ineffective Against Narcissists? The silent treatment is actually a form of stonewalling, a narcissistic behavior pattern that occurs when a narcissist refuses to participate in the communication and connection of the relationship that they have with someone else.
I had no idea that responding to the silent treatment gives the person doing it a false sense of control. That's definitely not OK. Left unchecked, the silent treatment becomes a pattern of behavior and emotional abuse that is used to manipulate over time.
Research has found that people who received the silent treatment experienced a threat to their needs of belonging, self-esteem, control, and meaningful existence. This type of behavior reinforces the feeling that someone we care about wants nothing to do with us. It can feel as though you don't exist.
In most cases, the narcissist will come back at you immediately after you put in place the no contact rule. Considering how important their ego is to them and how they need that constant attention from their partner, they would come for you immediately.
The best way to deal with narcissists is to simply ignore them. This means that you should not engage in any conversations with them, and you should not react to their provocations. If you can do this, it will be very difficult for them to control or manipulate you.
The silent treatment, or stonewalling, is a passive-aggressive form of manipulation and can be considered emotional abuse. It is a way to control another person by withholding communication, refusing to talk, or ignoring the person.
Narcissists are hurt by challenges or threats to their superior and grandiose self-image (also known as narcissistic injury). Their sense of entitlement and lack of empathy means they will attempt to destroy the culprit by any means necessary.
Narcissistic Disappointment: They cannot understand why you would want to stay the way you are. When you resist their suggestions, they feel insulted — as if you have criticized them, not the other way around. They become angry, want to punish you, and may begin to get nasty.
The silent treatment is strikingly similar to gaslighting, as both flourish in power and control. In fact, some therapists call the silent treatment a form of gaslighting, used to cause personal uncertainty, and a sense of doubt when considering goals, self-views and worldviews.
The best way to shut down a narcissist is to walk away from them. If all else fails, you can physically remove yourself from the conversation. Even if they keep talking, simply turn around and walk away. If they follow you, close the door.
The act of ghosting is a power move that someone with narcissistic personality disorder may use. There are many reasons why someone might ghost you. It may be because they lost interest and want to avoid the conflict of telling you this personally. It may be they want to see your reaction and how much you care.
Simply put, narcissists hate being ignored. They probably want to make you feel ashamed, regretful, and rattled. They want to be in control and will go to any length to keep feeling empowered. It's critical to understand that a narcissist will not leave you alone the first time you ignore them.
A narcissist is likely to be enraged when they begin to lose control. They may lash out at you, go on a smear campaign, or purposefully ignore you. They may also lovebomb you to reel you back in. Their main goal is to get your attention, provoke a response, and regain power.
Narcissists love using heightened, emotional language when text messaging with others. It's a way they can hook you into their drama and keep you responding to them. You may notice that they often send these texts after moments of disconnection (like after an argument or after you two have spent some time apart).