The narcissist feeds off the attention, admiration, respect or fear they illicit through their false self. Think of a narcissist as being similar to an individual who is addicted to drugs. They are addicted to being idealised by others, the way a person might be addicted to cocaine or heroin.
Examples of Narcissistic Supply
Primary narcissistic supply refers to obtaining attention, whether from public or private forms. Public attention might include feeling like a well-respected, beloved, or famed person in the community or world at large. Private attention comes from being at home, away from public eyes.
They demand you to do a lot for them without considering what you want. They need constant attention, praise, and affection from you. They take credit for all good things in a relationship and will not take responsibility for their failures or wrongdoings.
Narcissists thrive on getting attention, feeling special, and having control. He is an expert at getting an emotional reaction out of you – good or bad – because it makes him feel powerful and better than you.
The primary narcissistic supply is based on attention in both its public forms such as recognition, fame, infamy, stardom, and its private, more interpersonal, types of praise, admiration, applause, fear, and repulsion.
When a narcissistic person doesn't get a constant supply of validation or someone injures their self-esteem, their confident and superior facade can collapse. A narcissistic collapse may happen because others don't see the person like they want to be seen, for example.
Grandiose sense of self-importance
Grandiosity is the defining characteristic of narcissism. More than just arrogance or vanity, grandiosity is an unrealistic sense of superiority. Narcissists believe they are unique or “special” and can only be understood by other special people.
The best way to shut down a narcissist is to walk away from them. If all else fails, you can physically remove yourself from the conversation. Even if they keep talking, simply turn around and walk away. If they follow you, close the door.
Narcissists can use fear as a way to bait their partner. They may make threats, use intimidation tactics, or create a sense of fear or unease in their partner in order to provoke a reaction. For example, a narcissist may threaten to leave the relationship or harm themselves if their partner doesn't do what they want.
Narcissists often look for victims who struggle with insecurity and low self-esteem. People who think less of themselves and struggle with the “I am not enough” mindset tend to attract toxic partners. People with self-esteem issues tend to think of themselves as imperfect or unlovable.
Narcissism comprises feelings of grandiosity, a sense of entitlement, and a desire for respect and admiration.
4 Core Elements of Narcissism
The four key signs of narcissism are grandiosity, extreme self-focus, an inflated sense of self-worth, and a strong need for praise and recognition.
Narcissistic relationships can last anywhere from a few days or weeks to many years. There are anecdotal observations suggesting that the average length of a narcissistic relationship is around six months, but no empirical evidence supports this claim.
It comes hand-in-hand with this that narcissists hate being criticised or called out. Which is exactly why there's one word in particular narcissistic people cannot stand: "no".
Although narcissists act superior, entitled and boastful, underneath their larger-than-life facade lies their greatest fear: That they are ordinary. For narcissists, attention is like oxygen. Narcissists believe only special people get attention.
"You're a bad person." "Nobody else will ever love you." "I'm the best you'll ever have." "Have fun being alone for the rest of your life."
If there's one thing narcissists hate, it's being told what to do. When you push them into a situation where they have to answer to someone else, it's like their own personal hell. Figure out a way where you can get the narcissist in your life to be underneath an authority figure to really watch them squirm.
They're often introverted, sensitive, and prone to experiencing anxiety and shame. They may also struggle to maintain close friendships as they focus heavily on themselves, require attention, and are hyper-sensitive to perceived criticism.
Examples of narcissistic rage range from intense outbursts and sudden fits of anger, to passive-aggressive acts such as simmering resentment, icy silence, deliberate neglect, or cutting sarcasm.