Loneliness and social isolation are different, but related. Loneliness is the distressing feeling of being alone or separated. Social isolation is the lack of social contacts and having few people to interact with regularly.
What is chronic loneliness? Chronic loneliness occurs when feelings of loneliness and uncomfortable social isolation go on for a long period of time. It's characterized by constant and unrelenting feelings of being alone, separated or divided from others, and an inability to connect on a deeper level.
There are a few reasons for feeling lonely even when surrounded by friends and family: You hide your true self. You have a history of being misunderstood or judged. Perhaps you feel insecure about certain aspects of your personality.
It may seem strange that someone can feel lonely when surrounded by 8 million people, but, sadly, it's all too common.
Some of the biggest reasons you might feel this way include lacking a solid support system or being in a different chapter of your life than your loved ones. For instance, maybe you have tons of friends but you feel like you don't have anyone you can really rely on in a crisis.
There are different types of loneliness: emotional, and social and existential loneliness.
Loneliness affects people in different ways, and for this reason there are four distinct types of loneliness identified by psychologists: emotional, social, situational and chronic.
Deep feelings of loneliness are commonly reported in histories of childhood emotional neglect. Signs of adult relational trauma and loneliness may include: Difficulty being alone—the constant need for stimulation or something to distract themselves. Difficulty understandings themselves or their emotional needs.
Those who find themselves unexpectedly isolated due to the illness of a loved one, separation from friends or family, loss of mobility, worsening vision or hearing problems, disability, or lack of mobility or access to transportation, are at particular risk of loneliness and social isolation.
In general, having no friends is relatively normal. A February 2021 report found that 36% of Americans felt serious loneliness and a 2019 report showed that 1 in 5 people had no friends. If you have no friends, you are not alone. However, having no friends can lead to loneliness for some people.
People who have autophobia have an irrational, extreme fear of being alone. A person may experience this fear when they're alone.
Bottom Line: Friendship loneliness can be rooted in a major life change, difficulty making and keeping friends, or general depression and isolation. In some cases, a person can have many friends but lack a sense of connection with them.
When someone feels lonely they are more likely to try to distract themselves with the other things in their lives. So if your colleague is always talking about their stamp collection, or always flying away on exotic solo city breaks rather than spending weekends at home, they might be feeling alone.
Feeling as though one does not fit in with the people around one. The seemingly contradictory sense that you have been singled out specifically to be ignored.
Your brain processes it as pain
Feeling left out may also be unpleasant because of how it's translated in the brain. Research shows that social rejection may be interpreted by the same regions of the brain responsible for processing physical pain.
Some of us are naturally introverts who need time alone to thrive. And there is nothing wrong with preferring your own company. And even an extrovert who prefers to be around others needs some alone time to stay in touch with themselves. But science shows that even if we are introverted, we need connection.
While too much socializing is overwhelming, solitude is intrinsic to regaining that spent energy. After being alone, introverts feel strengthened and restored, ready to face the world again (or at least Zoom). No one, regardless of their personality, can bounce around all the time.
People with low self-esteem, anxiety, or shyness may find it difficult to approach others or participate in social activities. This results in a vicious cycle where the individual avoids social situations, leading to a decline in social skills and confidence.
It's not necessarily true that people with social anxiety want to be and feel alone. Most simply want to not feel the distress that comes with social interactions. They need to not carry around the heavy weight of their fears.
An introvert's brain responds to stimuli differently than an extrovert's brain. You're at your best or feel healthiest when you're alone because this is how you recharge and replenish. So, it makes sense that you would spend a lot of time by yourself. We all want to feel healthy, refreshed, and at our best.
These feelings of loneliness may ultimately lead to posttraumatic stress symptoms via a number of pathways. For example, loneliness may lead to the development of negative cognitions (Cacioppo and Hawkley, 2009), which can predict future PTSD symptoms and impact PTSD treatment (Brown et al., 2019).
If you find yourself spending more and more time alone because you believe others don't understand you or that you will struggle to connect, you may be experiencing one of the more subtle symptoms of trauma.