“Grooming is the slow, methodical, and intentional process of manipulating a person to a point where they can be victimized,” Eric Marlowe Garrison, a sex counselor and author, tells Allure. “After [the perpetrators] find their targets, they then gain trust and move in from there.”
What is grooming? Grooming is when someone builds a relationship, trust and emotional connection with a child or young person so they can manipulate, exploit and abuse them. Children and young people who are groomed can be sexually abused, exploited or trafficked.
Grooming is not a kink, at least not as the term is usually used lately. Grooming refers to slowly manipulating a person to where you want them to be in some manner, and is usually used in reference to an adult grooming a minor to be a sexual partner when the minor comes of age, or even sometimes before.
Grooming can appear non-sexual and it can occur while the perpetrator is engaging in an "otherwise normal relationship with a child" at the same time.
Anyone can be a victim.
No one is immune to grooming, though some are more susceptible than others — including minors, "because of their naiveté,” Marlowe Garrison says. “[Grooming] can occur at any age, and it has a great deal to do with gullibility, insecurity, religion, and culture.
Targeting specific kids for special attention, gifts or activities. Slowly isolating a kid from family members and friends – physically and emotionally. Undermining relationships with parents and friends to show that “no one understands you like I do.” Gradually pushing or crossing physical boundaries.
Grooming is the process of normalizing inappropriate behavior between minors and adults. If an adult tells you to keep secrets or starts giving you gifts out of nowhere, it may be a red flag. It's also not normal for an adult to want to spend lots of alone time with you or offer you alcohol.
"Usually, the groomer will eventually take physical or sexual advantage of the victim," says Harrison. "This could include anything from making inappropriate comments about their body, to making sexual advance, to actually sexually assaulting the person."
Absolutely! Grooming can happen at any age.
Grooming, which could include “sexting”, is behaviour that might be viewed as just flirting between colleagues, but may actually mask predatory sexual activity that constitutes a serious risk to employers and young employees.
This can look like controlling what a partner wears, who they see, where they go, and what they do with their free time. It can also look like a groomer using social media to cyberstalk their partner.
Adults who build stable and trusting relationships with a child under 18 for the purpose of sexually assaulting the minor are considered groomers. As such, you could face state and federal charges for child grooming if the alleged victim is under 15.
Grooming is a method used by offenders that involves building trust with a child and the adults around a child in an effort to gain access to and time alone with her/him. In extreme cases, offenders may use threats and physical force to sexually assault or abuse a child.
One tool common to those who sexually abuse kids is grooming: manipulative behaviors that the abuser uses to gain access to a potential victim, coerce them to agree to the abuse, and reduce the risk of being caught.
What Is the Meaning of Child Grooming? Adults who build stable and trusting relationships with a child under 18 for the purpose of sexually assaulting the minor are considered groomers. As such, you could face state and federal charges for child grooming if the alleged victim is under 15.
Grooming Is A Process Of Emotional Abuse
We're not talking about that kind of grooming. We're talking about the kind of grooming that takes place within an abusive relationship. A process that the abusive person uses at the beginning of the relationship to prep the relationship. To make sure that the victim feels safe.
Children are perhaps most likely to develop a trauma bond when exposed to sexual exploitation and targeted grooming. Sometimes, they may never have experienced physical intimacy, and grooming tactics can lead them to believe that their abuser has genuine feelings for them, and that their behaviour is normal.
Children are often afraid of disclosing the abuse. They may have been told that they will not be believed, or that something about the child “makes” the abuser do this to them. The child may also feel shame, or fear that they will be blamed.
Potential signs of grooming for abuse:
Showering the victim with lots of attention. Sharing secrets with the child. Become the sole provider of the victim's needs – giving rides, special outings, friendship, a place to stay, a sympathetic listener. Discuss their personal life and adult 'matters'
How does grooming happen? Sometimes it starts by a person trying really hard to be nice to you, giving you more and more attention or buying you gifts to make you like them.
The United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child (UNCRC) defines a child as everyone under 18 unless, "under the law applicable to the child, majority is attained earlier".