Emotional dumping is an act of unconsciously sharing your feelings or perspective without an awareness of the other person and their emotional state or needs. Emotional dumping typically occurs as a heightened reactive response to a triggering event that is relived and repeated within a conversation.
Emotional dumping on your friends, acquaintances, or strangers without warning or permission is abusive and manipulative—toxic oversharing.
Emotional dumping is used as a way for people to escape from taking any responsibility for their actions, circumstances or state of the relationship. It is also a way to deflect the real issues at hand, as a way to protect themselves from coming into and embracing a vulnerable state.
The bottom line
Venting is a healthy way to share negative emotions and reduce stress. But with trauma dumping, you overshare in a way that makes the listener feel overwhelmed or ignored.
Signs of trauma dumping
sharing the same story repeatedly or sharing graphic details. constantly interjecting mentions of past trauma into casual conversations. not knowing much about the people you share your story with. intentionally choosing people who may feel more obligated to listen.
Emotional dumping is a toxic form of venting. When you emotionally dump you are unaware of both your own emotional state and the state of the listener. Emotional dumping does not include the consent of the listener and ignores containment within time, topic, and objective.
Most of the time, trauma dumping is not purposefully abusive or manipulative. It's more common for a dumper to be so involved in talking about their traumatic experience that they are unaware of how their story is impacting their listeners.
“Trauma dumping refers to the oversharing of difficult emotions and thoughts with others,” Dr. Prewitt explains. “It is not a clinical term used by mental health providers, but people who engage in 'trauma dumping' often share traumatic events or stressful situations with others during inappropriate times.”
to dump someone: to stop dating someone; to end a relationship with someone. verb. Still having difficulties with 'Dump someone'? Test our online English lessons and receive a free level assessment!
Signs of Emotionally Draining Friendships. People who are surrounded by drama, constantly complaining, or are an emotional wreck may be all around you. They are the ones who seem to suck the energy out of you and leave you feeling emotionally drained anytime you talk on the phone or spend time together.
Going through a breakup can be traumatic. Similar to other traumas, like the death of a loved one, breakups can cause overwhelming and long-lasting grief.
According to Orloff, most people on the receiving end of trauma dumping will feel anxious, stressed, helpless and even depressed after the conversation. "People may feel better after trauma dumping, but the person they dump it onto feels horrible," she says.
Trauma dumping is when someone shares traumatic details or events without another person's consent. Before confiding in someone, it's important to make sure that they can properly support you. If someone shares a trauma with you, try your best to listen with empathy and without judgment.
“Trauma dumping refers to the oversharing of difficult emotions and thoughts with others,” Dr. Prewitt explains. “It is not a clinical term used by mental health providers, but people who engage in 'trauma dumping' often share traumatic events or stressful situations with others during inappropriate times.”
intrusive thoughts or images. nightmares. intense distress at real or symbolic reminders of the trauma. physical sensations such as pain, sweating, nausea or trembling.
Feeling jittery, nervous or tense.
Women experiencing PTSD are more likely to exhibit the following symptoms: Become easily startled. Have more trouble feeling emotions, experience numbness. Avoid trauma reminders.
Re-experiencing is the most typical symptom of PTSD. This is when a person involuntarily and vividly relives the traumatic event in the form of: flashbacks. nightmares.
Most of the time, trauma dumping is not purposefully abusive or manipulative. It's more common for a dumper to be so involved in talking about their traumatic experience that they are unaware of how their story is impacting their listeners.
Usually foisted upon loved ones, close friends, or unsuspecting acquaintances, trauma dumping can be a problematic red flag for many, setting off alarm bells that a connection is taking on a toxic edge.
Focus on non-judgmental, compassionate responses which help reduce shame. You might say “I'm so sorry you had to experience that,” or “you didn't deserve that, and you deserve support now,” or “I want you to know you're not alone,” or “you did what you have to do to survive.”
If you're the one getting dumped on, Becker suggests validating the person's feelings and showing empathy, but telling them you do not feel comfortable being in the conversation. “[Then offer] to help them secure the more helpful person or professional to talk to about this,” she says.