Those things are not uncommon, but what most people don't know is that men can experience their own version of blues – daddy blues. In fact it is not unusual for men to experience some form of depression during the first year after having a baby. It's hard know, however, what depression symptoms will look like in men.
Feelings of depression can begin while the partner is still pregnant, but male postpartum depression usually occurs three to six months after birth. It builds more slowly in men, which may be why it's not caught as often as it is in women. Symptoms can last up to a year if the dad doesn't get help.
Indeed, research has indicated that although these hormonal changes are adaptive, they are related to symptoms of depression and anxiety in men. For most men, these symptoms will pass – a daddy blues similar to the baby blues that new moms go through.
Male postpartum depression is also known as paternal postnatal depression (PPND). “Men can have a baby blues period, just like women. It's an adjustment period, getting used to sleep changes and new roles and responsibilities,” Berendzen says. “This very normal period isn't concerning or needs to be examined.
It's important to know that feelings of anxiety and even sadness are normal for all new parents. And dads can experience postpartum depression, too. So, don't hesitate to reach out to your doctor if you need emotional and mental support. Life with a new baby can be overwhelming.
Whatever the cause – hormonal changes, fatigue, stress, or legitimate mourning over the loss of the free and easy "pre-baby" lifestyle – it's now recognized that paternal postpartum depression is very real for some dads.
On the other hand, mothers reported that they started to experience motherhood as soon they received news that they were pregnant. Most fathers enter parenthood expecting an immediate emotional bond with their newborns, but report that bond takes time.
New research shows that a fifth of couples break up in the first year after the baby is born and the most common reason is a diminishing sex life, constant arguing and lack of communication.
The Baby Blues
These are hormonal changes that can cause anxiety, crying and restlessness that goes away within the first two weeks after giving birth. Also called postpartum blues, the baby blues are actually a mild — and temporary — form of depression that goes away once hormones level out.
The arrival of a child brings significant changes and challenges, including sleep deprivation, added responsibilities, financial stress, and shifts in priorities. Couples may struggle with communication, intimacy, and finding time for each other amidst the demands of parenting.
The phase can start as early as six to eight months and continues until around age two – when object permanence is fully established.
Daddy issues are adult challenges that can result from one of two likely past experiences — either growing up with an absent father or having an abnormal or poor relationship with a father who was physically present. The resulting psychological challenges can manifest in several ways.
Most people experience baby blues 2 to 3 days after the baby is born. They can last up to 2 weeks. They usually go away on their own, and you don't need any treatment.
Potential signs you may have "daddy issues" include low self-esteem, trust issues, repeatedly entering toxic relationships, people-pleasing tendencies, jealousy or overprotectiveness in relationships, idealizing men in your life, or seeking avoidant or emotionally unavailable partners.
The Psychology of “Daddy Issues”
In modern psychology, the appropriate term for this very real type of trauma is attachment disorder.
A closer look at resentment in relationships
Studies show that the transition to parenthood can negatively impact marital and other relationships due to the stressful and sudden changes involved in having a new baby (and, of course, getting very little sleep).
When I ring up Lindi Lazarus, a child and family therapist in private practice in Toronto, she assures me that it's normal to feel some resentment toward your other half after you have a child (or two). “It's a major identity shift for all parents,” she says, as I feel the cortisol starting to lower.
One-fourth had three children, and a similar share (24%) had two children. Only 11% of mothers at the end of their childbearing years had had only one child.
For most women, how long should you wait before getting pregnant again? For most women, it's best to wait at least 18 months between giving birth and getting pregnant again. This means your baby will be at least 1½ years old before you get pregnant with another baby.
Two fifths of people in relationships who have children (44%) had been together with their partner for at least five years before having a baby, despite only 13% of the public believing you need to wait that long.
Between 4–7 months of age, babies develop a sense of "object permanence." They're realizing that things and people exist even when they're out of sight. Babies learn that when they can't see their caregiver, that means they've gone away.
WASHINGTON — Fathers with toddler daughters are more attentive and responsive to those daughters' needs than fathers with toddler sons are to the needs of those sons, according to brain scans and recordings of the parents' daily interactions with their kids.
Daughters naturally crave connection with their fathers, and they especially cherish emotional and physical affection from their fathers. In fact, according to Meg Meeker's research, when girls and dads have a stronger connection, daughters do better in life on a number of different levels.