MD. People with borderline personality disorder (BPD) often rotate between idolizing and devaluing others. In the case of the “favorite person,” the individual with BPD prefers one person and wants to spend all their time with them.
Favorite person in the borderline personality disorder community. FP has a unique meaning in the BPD community. A FP is a person who someone with BPD relies heavily on for emotional support, seeks attention and validation from, and looks up to or idealizes.
People with BPD feel firmly attached to their favorite person and may depend on them for comfort, reassurance, and guidance. In many cases, someone with BPD may rely entirely on their favorite person. As a result, they may idealize them and expect them to always be available.
No. Borderline Personality Disorder and cheating are not connected, though certain symptoms of BPD could drive someone to cheat. That said, if you and your partner are willing to work through the challenges of BPD and go to therapy, then there is no reason your relationship can't succeed.
People with BPD may not have a consistent self-image or sense of self. This may worsen obsessive tendencies, since they may find it difficult to see themselves as real or worthy individually, separate from their relationships.
Research has yet to show a direct connection between BPD and an increased likelihood of cheating. Rather, a hallmark feature of borderline personality—impulsive behavior—sometimes manifests as sexual preoccupation, early sexual exposure, casual sexual relationships, and promiscuity.
Unfortunately, because people with BPD have an insecure sense of self, fragments in the relationship feel extremely threatening. If their favorite person disappoints them, it can feel devastating. They may react with rage, threats, or complete withdrawal.
For someone with this type of BPD relationship, a “favorite person” is someone they rely on for comfort, happiness, and validation. The relationship with a BPD favorite person may start healthy, but it can often turn into a toxic love-hate cycle known as idealization and devaluation.
However, if the favorite person does something that the individual perceives as abandonment or rejection, they may feel overwhelmed by negative emotions, such as anger, sadness, or anxiety. These emotions can be all-consuming, leading to suicidal ideation, self-harm, or impulsive behavior.
Second Stage of a BPD Relationship: Obsessive Neediness
This stage is where the tone of the relationship begins to shift to more dysfunctional tendencies. The BPD sufferer may start to become irritable and nit-pick over anything they perceive as negative behaviour aimed at them.
People with BPD often engage in self-sabotaging behavior. This can include: Oversharing. Misplaced anger.
It's very common for someone with this disorder to have intense, unstable relationships filled with drastic and quick-changing feelings. A person with BPD may fall in love quickly and assume that the other person will make them happy.
Be grateful that you had your favorite person, for as long as you did. Think about what experiences and lessons you have learned from that person. Practice personal gratitude for the time you had together, rather than demonizing that former favorite person. When you are in a better state of mind, you will move on.
A person with borderline personality disorder tends to anxiously avoid being separated from or abandoned by people they care about. They might go to extreme lengths such as stalking people they care about through tracking their phone or following them.
But there is another quality displayed by many borderline individuals that is often left out of the diagnostic picture: individuals with borderline personality disorders can also love intensely, although somewhat erratically and egocentrically.
People with borderline personality disorder have a deep fear of abandonment. They compete for social acceptance, are terrified of rejection and often feel lonely even in the context of an intimate relationship. Therefore, it is more difficult for them to manage the normal ups and downs of a romantic partnership.
People with BPD often harbor an intense fear of being abandoned by the ones they love, suffer from chronic feelings of emptiness, engage in suicidal behavior or threats, and have difficulty controlling anger.
A person with borderline personality disorder is often unable to trust their own feelings or reactions. Lacking a strong sense of self leads to a sense of emptiness and sometimes a sense of being non-existent, which is another reason BPD hurts so much.
Borderline/dependent: A person with borderline personality disorder (BPD) is well-matched with a person who has a dependent personality disorder (DPD). The BPD has an intense fear of abandonment which is a good match for the DPD who will not leave even a dysfunctional relationship.
Feeling challenged, threatened, or disappointed can quickly cause them to devalue the people they formerly idealized. Rather than cope with the stress of ambivalence, devaluing functions to minimize the anxiety caused by ambiguity.
People with borderline personality disorder fear abandonment, partly because they do not want to be alone. Sometimes they feel that they do not exist at all, often when they do not have someone who cares for them. They often feel empty inside.
A person with impulsive borderline personality disorder often displays the following signs and symptoms of the subtype: Flirtatious with others, sometimes without even realizing it.
Passionate and emotional – When a person with BPD loves, the love is deep, highly committed and loyal to the relationship. Even though there may be struggles with attachment and fears of abandonment, these are ultimately manifestations of love.
In close relationships, a person with BPD may appear jealous, possessive, or hyper-reactive. These individuals often fear being left alone and have deep feelings of worthlessness. In many cases, this disorder is the direct result of childhood trauma, abuse, violence, or neglect.