INFJs are hardworking perfectionists—and their biggest fear is failure. An INFJs fear of failure can transform into a fear of a failed relationship and subsequent abandonment, a fear of not achieving a goal, or deep-seated fear of not being “good enough.” If those things terrify you, you might be an INFJ.
Sensitive people like INFJs absorb more information than others and are more aware of emotions, so they tend to experience information overload more quickly. They become stressed when they are subjected to too much information, including noise, crowds, bright lights and other people's feelings and moods.
INFJs keep to themselves.
This can make them hard to get to know, and they are often that one person in the group who's shrouded in mystery. INFJs are also resistant to vulnerability, so even after the conversation is started, the INFJ isn't likely to offer up any meaningful connection right away.
Controlled and structured work environments that do not provide the flexibility to think independently are extremely stressful for INFJs. You establish very high, often perfectionist, standards for yourself and need the freedom to creatively accomplish these goals.
INFJs' only true enemy is themselves, or more specifically, their inner critic. However, some personality types may be difficult for INFJs to get along with including: ESTJs: They are often seen as being too blunt, dominant, and insensitive for INFJs.
INFJs are no exception to this rule, and when they become overly stressed they may display a dark side that includes angry outbursts, obsessive worrying, perfectionism, or even depression. When INFJs first encounter stress, they start to behave very true-to-type.
Here are some of the things that make INFJs the angriest:
Violation of one of their core values. Bullying or name-calling. Rudeness. Having their ideas and insights dismissed or ignored.
INFJ: Superficiality
Superficial conversations about gossipy topics or small talk don't usually interest an INFJ, so it can be a major turn-off when someone is too eager to stick to the surface level of communication. Shallow conversations and frivolous topics can make an INFJ feel bored, disconnected, and uninspired.
INFJs feel insecure when they receive criticism or are faced with conflict or confrontation. They want to live in a harmonious atmosphere as much as possible, and they tend to take criticism very personally as children.
At their best, INFJs make modest, reliable teammates, and allow others to take the lead. INFJs may undervalue their own needs, ideas, and contributions, acting overly shy and not taking credit when due. At their worst, INFJs can be excessively submissive, ineffectual, and too dependent on direction from others.
People are high-fiving, cheering, and otherwise overdoing it emotionally. As an INFJ you tend to feel out-of-your-element in these situations. You might attempt to cheer only to be taken aback by the awkward tension and self-consciousness in your voice.
Why do INFJs struggle so much with guilt? For one, we're perfectionists, and I think guilt goes hand in hand with that. There's also our INFJ tendency to beat ourselves up and sometimes sabotage our own wellbeing. And we're often the first to pick apart and criticize our own actions.
Interruptions, noise, and excessive sensory stimulation will push an INFJ to the edge of their comfort zone.
This sensitive personality type possess an enormous strength — compassion. Yet sometimes INFJs run the risk of going beyond just helping someone and serving as a catalyst for their growth. Instead, they try to “fix” a toxic person who doesn't take accountability for their own healing.
In addition to being highly sensitive (sometimes to an extreme degree), many INFJs also struggle with high amounts of anxiety and depression. A lot of INFJs report that they experience a low-key depression running in the background of their lives, even when it appears that everything is going well on the surface.
When they're depressed or uninspired, they feel fatigued and drained. INFJs without a vision for the future feel listless and apathetic, as if they're lost in a fog and unable to find a light to guide them home.
Some unhealthy INFJs can become pretentious because they feel so different from other people. They can get stuck thinking that they are better or more valuable than other types. They might see sensing types as narrow-minded, thinking types as cold, or perceivers as lazy.
Because of our passionate need for meaningful connection, we INFJs can get jealous easily when we see other people connecting and having fun. We might compare ourselves to them, or worse yet, when someone close to us has friends of their own, we might pull away, feeling unwanted and pathetic.
INFJs will spend a lot of time reflecting on the situation alone, and they'll decide whether it is worth addressing or forgetting. An INFJ will often choose to push the issue aside and leave it, releasing their anger through art, creative hobbies, or exercise.
When INFJs are continually hurt or hurt bad enough, they slam the door on that toxic relationship. The well-known INFJ door slam isn't about punishing the other person. It's about protecting ourselves from more hurt. Even though many INFJs can seem to have a cold exterior, our hearts are soft.
Though not spontaneous ourselves, we usually admire spontaneity in others. That's why the ENTP and INFJ combination is often considered a match made in heaven. The fun-loving ENTP can shake up the structured INFJ a bit, and help them get out of their heads.
INFJs are introverts, and while they cherish meaningful friendships, they have little tolerance for people who don't align with their values. Most INFJs don't want a large circle of friends, and that's okay! However, many INFJs also struggle with feeling lonely due to their small or nonexistent circle of friends.
INFP is the type most commonly mistaken for INFJ, and they use Ne as their co-pilot process. If Signs 1 and 5 are both sound true for you there's a very good chance you're an INFP.