Absent grief is when someone shows little to no signs of normal grief, such as crying, lethargy, missing the deceased, or anger. Many doctors believe that this kind of grief comes from an underlying avoidance or denial of the loss.
What Is Delayed Grief? Delayed grief occurs when people postpone coping with grief and loss. They may tell themselves that other people's needs are more important than theirs and focus on taking care of them, but this is a way of trying to avoid their own painful feelings.
Grief that is withheld and not recognised can have a negative impact on us emotionally as well as physically. If we unconsciously delay the grieving process and withhold emotions, this can manifest itself in physical ways such as headaches, difficulty sleeping, ailments and stomach problems.
Some of us feel sad when someone dies. Some of us feel angry. But some of us feel nothing at all. Emotional numbness can be linked with a type of grief called 'inhibited grief,' which is characterised by suppressed emotions.
Unresolved grief, or complex grief, is different from normal grief in various ways. First, it lasts much longer, at times for many years. Second, it's much more severe and intense, not lessening with time but instead often worsening. Third, it interferes with a person's ability to function normally in daily life.
When in shock, feeling numb and removed from your emotions is normal. You may even feel numb to anything happening around you. Many individuals find themselves just “going through the motions” when someone close dies.
"Men may try to resist grief, but it's important not to ignore these symptoms, as constant stress can put you at greater risk for a heart attack, stroke, and even death, especially in the first few months after losing someone," says Dr. Bui.
Unresolved grief lasts longer than usual for a person's social circle or cultural background. It may also be used to describe grief that does not go away or interferes with the person's ability to take care of daily responsibilities.
Incomplete grief is when someone isn't able to or decides not to express, confront or even experience the feelings caused by a loss. It's sometimes described as an emotion 'frozen in time'.
This sense of the unknown can be disorienting. It makes both the understanding of the symptoms as a grief response and one's ability to work through it more difficult. This means you may be experiencing symptoms of grief and not even know it.
Seek support
Avoid those who don't validate or support your feelings. Seek out friends and family who knew about your relationship with the person/companion animal that you lost. Seek out people who are in a similar situation to you and people who are more likely to be compassionate and understanding of your loss.
Grievers avoid others because they are afraid and then isolate. Is anybody talking to anyone else, and if so, are they talking about anything important to the griever? Isolation and grief are not helpful for the griever.
Avoiding grief isn't obvious – There are many ways people that experience absent grief try to avoid grieving. For example, they can focus on taking care of others, lose themselves in drugs or alcohol to numb the pain, or dive into work in order to distract themselves.
Masked grief occurs when someone tries to suppress their feelings of grief and not deal with them or allow them to run their natural course. In the very early moments after a loss, our bodies and minds are clever in that the initial feelings of shock and denial are useful to us.
Inhibited grief
As a result, many people who repress their emotions don't realize they're doing so. Unfortunately, when you don't allow yourself to pause and feel these emotions, grief often shows up as physical symptoms like an upset stomach, insomnia, anxiety or even panic attacks.
According to the ELNEC, there are four types of complicated grief, including chronic grief, delayed grief, exaggerated grief, and masked grief.
Grief can be stored in various parts of the body, such as the heart, lungs, throat, and stomach. People may also experience physical sensations like heaviness in the chest or tightness in the throat when experiencing grief.
Ineffective grieving then, occurs when our emotions run wild; making rational thought difficult. These emotions (such as anger, sadness, fear, insecurity, guilt and/or loneliness) can also cause us to can behave very badly, both with ourselves and with others.
Some avoidance during grief is normal, but problems arise when avoidance becomes a person's go-to coping skill. Some examples of chronic avoidance that might contribute to an absent grief response include: Refusing to talk about the loss or acknowledge your grief to even to yourself.
Many psychologists believe this stems from an underlying avoidance or denial of loss. What is this? Of course you know that your loved one is gone; but the lack of grief symptoms results from being stuck in the first stage of grief (denial) and resistance to getting to the “acceptance” stage.
People might feel or act differently to usual when they are grieving. They might have difficulty concentrating, withdraw and not enjoy their usual activities. They may drink, smoke or use drugs. They may also have thoughts of hurting themselves or that they can't go on.
Grief or bereavement releases the hormone cortisol in reaction to stress that breaks down tissue and, in excess, can lead to collagen breakdown and accelerated aging. High cortisol levels prompt the skin's sebaceous glands to release more sebum. This in turn results in clogged pores, inflammation, and an increase in p.
Depression is usually the longest and most difficult stage of grief. Depression can be a long and difficult stage in the grieving process, but it's also when people feel their deepest sadness.