Insecure narcissists often feel the need to dominate others, especially those they believe are weaker than themselves. Their aggressive nature is due in part to their fear of inadequacy and low self-esteem.
"Narcissists are insecure, and they cope with these insecurities by flexing. This makes others like them less in the long run, thus further aggravating their insecurities, which then leads to a vicious cycle of flexing behaviors."
Although narcissists act superior, entitled and boastful, underneath their larger-than-life facade lies their greatest fear: That they are ordinary. For narcissists, attention is like oxygen. Narcissists believe only special people get attention.
Instilling Self-Doubt and Gaslighting
They can create self-doubt by playing on your insecurities and weak points. Or, they can simply gaslight you by invalidating your feelings, memories, or experiences, and fundamentally making you doubt reality.
They get jealous about everything
They talk a good game, but narcissists actually have very low self-esteem. Low self-worth/confidence/esteem is at the core of a narcissism. This low sense of self naturally makes it extremely easy for them to become jealous – very jealous.
"Vulnerable narcissists often seek out relationships in which they can be the center of attention and where they feel they can control their partner," says Hong. "To keep their partner from leaving them, they may be possessive and jealous and may go to great lengths to control their partner's behavior." 6.
Are hypersensitive and easily hurt. Are more introverted than grandiose narcissists. Find it difficult to deal with any failure or trauma. Are more neurotic and will worry and fret over how they are perceived.
Narcissism tends to emerge as a psychological defence in response to excessive levels of parental criticism, abuse or neglect in early life. Narcissistic personalities tend to be formed by emotional injury as a result of overwhelming shame, loss or deprivation during childhood.
Being Humiliated
Being at once grandiose and hypersensitive, narcissists have unrealistic expectations and are threatened by even small slights that others would easily brush off. Feeling embarrassed or humiliated is painful for anyone, but narcissists are especially reactive to those emotions.
These results suggest that the self-esteem of vulnerable narcissists is low, and their fragile sense of self-worth is hypersensitive and labile, while grandiose narcissists have generally higher and more stable self-esteem.
Narcissistic personality disorder may be linked to: Environment — parent-child relationships with either too much adoration or too much criticism that don't match the child's actual experiences and achievements. Genetics — inherited characteristics, such as certain personality traits.
But this was not the case for narcissists—they were significantly more satisfied with partners who met their ideals for attractiveness, status, and vitality. This shows that not only do narcissists value “trophy” traits in a partner, but they are happier with their relationships when they obtain those traits.
Here are some narcissism red flags to look out for: Lacking empathy. They seem unable or unwilling to have empathy for others, and they appear to have no desire for emotional intimacy. Unrealistic sense of entitlement.
One of the most common early indicators of narcissism is what's known as the love-bombing phase. At the beginning of the relationship, the narcissist will often come on very strong, put you on a pedestal, and make you feel incredibly special.
One of the most common ways a narcissist, especially the covert types, will try to test you is through the silent treatment. They will simply stay silent and ignore you because they want to get a rise out of you. They want you to go back to them and grovel for their forgiveness and validation.
It is the person who has become codependent (as a result of prior experiences) who is actually most vulnerable to narcissists. This confusion seems to result from a misunderstanding of what these two at-risk personalities share and how they differ.
In fact, narcissists are often attracted to strong, confident, and self-assured women. While this may seem counterintuitive, it is important to realize that the narcissistic traits of grandiosity and confidence are really a mask for deep insecurity.
A monumental weakness in the narcissist is the failure to look internally and flesh out what needs to be worked on. Then, of course, the next step is to spend time improving. The narcissist sabotages any possibility of looking deep within.