Falling in love triggers a cocktail of brain chemicals, shifting from the exciting high of dopamine, noradrenaline (like a natural amphetamine), and stress hormone cortisol, to the bonding hormones oxytocin (the "cuddle hormone" for attachment) and vasopressin (promoting long-term commitment), creating feelings of euphoria, focus, and deep connection.
Levels of the stress hormone cortisol increase during the initial phase of romantic love, marshaling our bodies to cope with the “crisis” at hand. As cortisol levels rise, levels of the neurotransmitter serotonin become depleted.
As oxytocin is associated with trust, sexual arousal and relationship building, it's sometimes referred to as the “love hormone” or “cuddle chemical.” Oxytocin levels also increase when you're hugging someone and when you're experiencing an orgasm.
Love biologist Dawn Maslar states that hormones such as dopamine and vasopressin are important for a man to begin falling in love. Oxytocin, a hormone released when you hug a loved one, is very important in building and strengthening love in men in later stages.
Oxytocin is sometimes called the "love hormone" because it's thought to be involved in falling in love, mother-child bonding and sexual arousal in females, as well as lifetime pair-bonding of sexual mates among some species.
Oxytocin: The love hormone.
Understand the Chemistry
Love happens less in the heart and more in the brain, where hormonal releases and brain chemicals are triggered. Dopamine, serotonin and oxytocin are some of the key neurotransmitters that help you feel pleasure and satisfaction. So, your body often approaches love as a cycle.
The 2-2-2 relationship rule is a guideline for couples to keep their bond strong and fresh by scheduling regular, dedicated time together: a date night every two weeks, a weekend getaway every two months, and a week-long vacation every two years, which helps prioritize connection, break routine, and create lasting memories. It's a framework to ensure consistent quality time, even with busy schedules, to prevent boredom and strengthen partnership.
Which hormones increase sexual desire? Testosterone, estrogen, oxytocin, dopamine, and serotonin all play a role in boosting sexual desire. Testosterone is the most influential hormone for libido in both men and women.
Genuine love and emotional connection take time to build, but once he feels attached to you, he'll experience love and want to commit to you. You build an emotional connection by: Showing empathy and understanding for his feelings. Being genuine and open encourages him to be honest too.
Information shows that it appears to involve the brain's dopamine reward system, the same mechanism responsible for habits and addictions. Additionally, one study found that men in love display hormonal patterns similar to those seen in obsessive-compulsive disorder, with their serotonin levels dropping sharply.
Simple acts like holding hands, hugging, or cuddling release oxytocin, often called the “love hormone,” which helps build trust and makes us feel connected and content. Even small gestures, like a gentle touch on the arm or a quick kiss, can remind each other of the warmth and affection shared.
Falling in love may make you feel like it has turned to mush, but in fact, it's firing off hormones like fireworks on the Fourth of July. And they're all doing different things. "When you first feel crazy in love, you are stressed out about it and lots of cortisol, the stress hormone, is secreted," said Dr.
The first love is lust and is founded primarily on sexual attraction, and the second love is intimacy and is founded on compatibility (as well as sexual attraction). The third love is commitment, and it involves lust and intimacy as well as the decision to commit to one another through life's ups and downs.
Noradrenaline causes the feelings of euphoria, and the physiological responses of a faster heart rate, butterflies in the stomach and increased energy. At the same time, other brain areas are deactivated. Reduced activity in the frontal cortex reduces negative emotions and judgements.
The 70/30 rule in relationships suggests balancing time together (70%) with personal time apart (30%) for hobbies, friends, and self-growth, promoting independence and preventing codependency, while another view says it's about accepting 70% of your partner as "the one" and learning to live with the other 30% of quirks, requiring effort to manage major issues within that space, not a pass for abuse. Both interpretations emphasize finding a sustainable balance and acknowledging that relationships aren't always 50/50, with the key being communication and effort, not strict adherence to numbers.
Sexual desire is typically higher in men than in women, with testosterone (T) thought to account for this difference as well as within-sex variation in desire in both women and men. However, few studies have incorporated both hormonal and social or psychological factors in studies of sexual desire.
Estrogen keeps the tissues of the vagina lubricated and healthy. Normally, the lining of the vagina makes a clear, lubricating fluid. This fluid makes sexual intercourse more comfortable. It also helps decrease vaginal dryness.
Research suggests that women reach their sexual peak in their 30s whereas men peak in their late teens.
The 777 dating rule is a relationship strategy for intentional connection, suggesting couples schedule a date every 7 days, an overnight getaway every 7 weeks, and a longer vacation every 7 months to keep the spark alive, build memories, and prevent disconnection from daily life. It's about consistent, quality time, not necessarily grand gestures, and focuses on undivided attention to strengthen intimacy and partnership over time.
survived the dreaded two-year mark (i.e. the most common time period when couples break up), then you're destined to be together forever… right? Unfortunately, the two-year mark isn't the only relationship test to pass, nor do you get to relax before the seven-year itch.
While many factors contribute, many experts point to poor communication (especially criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling) and a breakdown in emotional connection/trust, often stemming from dishonesty or disrespect, as the #1 things that destroy marriages, eroding intimacy and making partners feel unheard and unloved over time. Infidelity, financial stress, and shifting priorities (like putting family/in-laws above spouse) are also major contributors that feed these core issues.
The 7 stages of love often refer to a Sufi or Arabic concept tracing a spiritual journey from initial attraction to divine unity, including Dilkashi (attraction), Uns (infatuation), Ishq (love), Akidat (trust/reverence), Ibadat (worship), Junoon (madness/passion), and finally Maut (death of the ego/self), signifying oneness with the beloved or the divine. While this is a classic framework, other models describe relationship stages focusing on psychological growth, like awareness, commitment, and interdependence.
Factors like attraction, fascination, and admiration might explain why you feel like you can't stop thinking about someone. Sometimes, this interest might be a sign of a problem, so it's important to recognize when this represents more of an obsession than mere interest.
February may be the month of love, but it takes more than chocolates, flowers and dinner dates to make a relationship work. A strong and healthy relationship is built on the three C's: Communication, Compromise and Commitment.