So when they encounter a piece of information about narcissism they immediately might feel exposed, ashamed, betrayed, or attacked. Moreover, they often take things very personally and think that everything is about them. So they might feel that the author is talking about them personally or calling them out.
An often effective way to point out a person's narcissism, while at the same time allowing the individual flexibility to change, is to separate the behavior from the person. For instance, instead of stating “you're a narcissist,” say “you're acting like a narcissist,” or “this [specify the behavior] is narcissistic.”
What can you expect when you do confront a narcissist? Generally, they will resort to narcissistic rage (explosive or passive-aggressive) or denial. He or she may become enraged, deny everything, call you a liar, twist reality, blame you and then play the victim.
When you call out a narcissistic person, they are prone to immediately find something to blame. You see, they rarely take responsibility for their own actions, and if they act badly, it must be someone else's fault. They may say things like, “I wouldn't have cheated on you if you were intimate more often.”
When you don't depend on anyone to make money and you use your abundance to take care of yourself and not predators, you will always have the ability to control your own future. This is power, and pathologically envious narcissists are often turned off by it because it means they cannot easily control a victim.
Narcissists also gaslight or practice master manipulation, weakening and destabilizing their victims; finally, they utilize positive and negative emotions or moments to trick others. When a narcissist can't control you, they'll likely feel threatened, react with anger, and they might even start threatening you.
Calling someone a narcissist means placing them beyond the reach of empathy: They don't feel it and so you don't have to either.
Narcissists don't know they're hurting you. It doesn't even enter their minds. And, if you try to tell them how you feel, they get defensive and make you feel you're wrong again. In fact, they'll even rather “innocently” tell you: “I'm only trying to help you.”
Manly finds it's best not to confront a narcissist directly. As difficult as it may be to constantly tiptoe around them, it can be better to manage their need to feel in charge. Don't try to direct them. Narcissists like to have control and often fear losing it.
A narcissist's underdeveloped ego won't allow them to process or take in any information that contradicts their personal beliefs. Consequently, if you tell a narcissist that they act like one, they aren't going to hear you.
Narcissists will not change. They will not become compassionate or empathetic, and they rarely change their perspective to accept they are wrong. Continuing to argue, defend, or explain only creates a cycle that only benefits the narcissist. Learn to ignore.
So how do a pair of narcissists get along? You might think that a group of narcissists would be constantly competing with each other for attention. But it seems that those who are narcissistic are more tolerant of narcissistic behaviors in their friends -- and may also reinforce this behavior in each other.
In narcissists' efforts to avoid blame, they often combine several fake apologies at once, such as, “I am sorry if I said anything to offend you, but I have strong opinions. Maybe you're too sensitive,” or, “I guess I should tell you I am sorry.
Narcissistic collapse happens when a person with narcissistic personality disorder experiences a failure, humiliation, or other blow to their secretly fragile self-esteem. Depending on the type of narcissist, collapse may look different and happen more frequently.
Toxic People, for the Most Part, Are Narcissists
Narcissists have absolutely no concerns outside of their own needs and desires. They don't care about the people around them as much as they care about themselves.
Generally, they will resort to narcissistic rage (explosive or passive-aggressive) or denial. He or she may become enraged, deny everything, call you a liar, twist reality, blame you and then play the victim. You may be the recipient of rage and aggression or the victim of The Silent Treatment.
“It's not my fault, it's because of you/money/stress/work.” “If you wouldn't have done this, I wouldn't have done that.” “You knew what you were getting into; this is just the way that I am.”