Calling out the narcissist really has no benefit. They won't start to acknowledge their wrongs and make efforts to change. By calling them out, you just open yourself up to more abuse from the narcissist. This might be hard to hear because this means you are left with no way to be heard for how you are being treated.
Additionally, consistent overuse of the term trivializes the genuine pain a narcissist is experiencing deep down and detracts it from its authentic meaning. Because of this, it's essential to have a clear definition of what a narcissist is and what the potential dangers are of overusing the term.
You can expect grandiose narcissists to lash out when wounded. The more insulted they feel, the more rage they're likely to feel. And the more intense their rage, the more viciously they're likely to attack. The problem with them is as insidious as it is tragic.
Narcissists are also bold enough to accuse you of a trait they know they are culpable of. They do this in order to make you feel you are wrong and they are blind. But no matter how convincing or confident they may sound, never accept their false accusations.
It comes hand-in-hand with this that narcissists hate being criticised or called out. Which is exactly why there's one word in particular narcissistic people cannot stand: "no".
They protect against shame and narcissistic injury through use of their punishment tactics. If you call out the narcissist about anything they feel like could expose them, expect rage.
Narcissistic gaslighting examples of this tactic include suggesting you're “confused,” “mixed up” or “misremembering.” Alternatively, they may take the opposite approach, saying something like, “I have no memory of that” or, “I don't know what you're talking about.”
Outside the realm of legitimate psychotherapy, to call someone a narcissist is not only more insulting than non-clinical insults; it may well evoke more hostility. The labeler seizes the role of expert and looks down with contempt on the pathological wretch below.
Narcissists are highly sensitive to criticism or any perceived threat to their self-image, and they will go to great lengths to protect it. If you criticize them or challenge their dominance, you will trigger a defensive response.
Tease, ridicule, and shame them mercilessly for not trying to figure out right from wrong, instead, pretending to have it all figured out. Stay calm, even friendly, to the person cowering inside their absolute narcissistic fake infallibility cloak. Stay light, even humorous. It's nothing personal.
Calling someone a narcissist means placing them beyond the reach of empathy: They don't feel it and so you don't have to either.
Ignore it and move on.
This is an ideal response when you're dealing with someone naturally argumentative. If you know that even attempts to talk respectfully lead to an argument, ignoring and moving on could be better. You know you're not a narcissist, so just let the comment go!
As a general rule, you can expect narcissistic rage, gaslighting and projection when you confront the narcissist in your life because by confronting them, you contradict their identity and expose all of the negative thoughts, feelings, and emotions that they've worked so hard to hide.
In the first few weeks narcissists will say things like: "You're my soul mate." "I've never met anyone like you before." "You understand me so much better than anyone else."
Instead, the opposite of that statement about gaslighting is to deliberately and systematically [feed someone] true information that leads them to question what they know to be true, often about themselves.
Put Your Needs First. Narcissists make others feel guilty about being happy because they expect everyone to put the narcissist's happiness first. If you're not constantly praising them or accepting their criticisms that make them feel superior, they won't be satisfied.
The easiest way to make a narcissist panic is to cut off your supply of attention and concern. Narcissists feed off of attention. Any kind. Whether it's good or bad, it doesn't matter to them.
A monumental weakness in the narcissist is the failure to look internally and flesh out what needs to be worked on. Then, of course, the next step is to spend time improving. The narcissist sabotages any possibility of looking deep within.
Narcissists' Greatest Fear
Although narcissists act superior, entitled and boastful, underneath their larger-than-life facade lies their greatest fear: That they are ordinary. For narcissists, attention is like oxygen. Narcissists believe only special people get attention.