They Will Discard You It is common for a narcissist to discard you once they realize that they no longer can control you. Discarding is a manipulation tactic that occurs when a narcissist abruptly ends the relationship that they have with you.
Narcissists also gaslight or practice master manipulation, weakening and destabilizing their victims; finally, they utilize positive and negative emotions or moments to trick others. When a narcissist can't control you, they'll likely feel threatened, react with anger, and they might even start threatening you.
A narcissist will get angry when they can't control you because it contradicts their sense of entitlement, contradicts their falsified identity, triggers their suppressed negative emotions, and causes them to go into a narcissistic rage in an emotionally inadequate attempt to regulate their own emotions.
When a narcissist knows you are onto them, they know it would be hard to trick you anymore. Hence, when a narcissist loses power, what they do is create a trauma bond. A trauma bond is a series of toxic behaviors the narcissist displays.
Once the narcissist realizes you're not coming back, the panic sets in. Now they regret what's been abandoned, lost, and destroyed. This was their fault and you both know it. But now they carry the weight of that guilt.
It is common for people with a narcissistic personality disorder to regret discarding or losing someone, but it does not mean what you might think. If they feel regret, it is not because they hurt you. It is for losing something that they value. You are a possession, not a real person.
How long does it take a narcissist to come back? In most cases, the narcissist will come back at you immediately after you put in place the no contact rule. Considering how important their ego is to them and how they need that constant attention from their partner, they would come for you immediately.
But here is the rub: Over time, the narcissist usually senses that you are pulling away, and it is then that your problems take on a different form. Narcissists hate feeling that they might be rejected or that you might conclude that they are defective. So, they go into compensation mode by turning the tables.
Once they don't need you to fuel their ego anymore, a narcissist will discard and abandon you. Also, if you decide to stand for yourself, set boundaries, and ask for reciprocity, a narcissist will discard you with no apology, empathy, or remorse.
Breakups with narcissists don't always end the relationship. Many won't let you go, even when it's they who left the relationship, and even when they're with a new partner. They won't accept “no.” They hoover in an attempt to rekindle the relationship or stay friends after a breakup or divorce.
Narcissists and psychopaths are well-known for a tactic known as “baiting.” They deliberately provoke you so that you emotionally react and swallow their blameshifting hook, line, and sinker.
In general, it may involve intense emotional reactions and a tendency toward vindictive behaviors, but it could also lead to depression and withdrawal. Narcissistic collapse isn't a permanent occurrence once it happens. Typically, the emotional pain will decrease and the person may return to feeling their usual.
Micromanipulations are intentional ways of redirecting the narrative and regaining control over the other person's thoughts and feelings. These brief comments are made in passing or casual conversation meant to hit heavy and unexpectedly and require the victim to go back to the manipulator for clarification.
Remain calm and unaffected.
Cut a conversation with a narcissistic co-worker short and excuse yourself to work on something else. Give your narcissistic partner absolutely no reaction when they try to push your buttons. Stay on topic if you're having a conversation with a manipulative, narcissistic parent.
Discard/Rejection: When the narcissist gets bored or decides the person is no longer useful enough to them, they'll often end the relationship and 'discard' the person. Sometimes, this ending is final.
The best way to know if a narcissist loves you is by looking at their behavior over time rather than just relying on words or expressions of affection. If they are consistently putting your needs first, even when it doesn't directly benefit them, then it may be possible that they truly care for you.
The narcissist pattern of life is built upon so many dysfunctional behaviors and attitudes that it is destined to be a losing proposition. But, as Dr. Les Carter explains, they have such an inflated view of themselves that they inevitably self-destruct.
Daramus lists some reasons why a person with narcissistic tendencies might discard you: You were too difficult for them to control. You were easily manipulated by them, causing them to look down upon you. You no longer fuel their ego, so they've moved on to someone else who can supply what they need.
Even if you leave, the narcissist will demand you engage, interact, and provide them with attention. This may be through phone calls, social media, multiple texts, or showing up at your work or home. It is essential to realize that the narcissist will pull out all the stops to pull you back into the relationship.
There are four distinct phases that these types of relationships typically go through: idealization, devaluation, discard, and hoover. And at times, it may feel like you are on a not-so-merry-go-round going round-and-round through these phases many times over.
Simply put, narcissists hate being ignored. They probably want to make you feel ashamed, regretful, and rattled. They want to be in control and will go to any length to keep feeling empowered. It's critical to understand that a narcissist will not leave you alone the first time you ignore them.