“When a person's first attachment experience is being unloved, this can create difficulty in closeness and intimacy, creating continuous feelings of anxiety and avoidance of creating deep meaningful relationships as an adult,” says Nancy Paloma Collins, LMFT in Newport Beach, California.
Until she is fully healed, the unloved daughter may feel deep-rooted insecurities about the validity of her thoughts and perceptions; many daughters who were mocked, told they were too sensitive, or were actively gaslighted by their mothers or other members of their family of origin have internalized these messages, ...
An unloved child becomes very suspicious. They show a lot of signs of confusion and discomfort. Sometimes they're really stubborn, and others, extremely lifeless for their age. In general, we see them as sad, submissive, and desperate for support.
If a child doesn't feel secure or confident that they are loved unconditionally, can lead to a constant fear of abandonment in adulthood. Unfortunately, that fear of abandonment can cause all kinds of problems in adult relationships. You may find yourself pushing people away afraid they will leave you.
For those who may not be familiar, “unloved daughter syndrome” is a term used to describe the lack of emotional connection or love between a mother and her daughter. This disconnect can lead to insecurity, anxiety, loneliness, and mistrust of others.
Examples of emotional neglect may include: lack of emotional support during difficult times or illness. withholding or not showing affection, even when requested. exposure to domestic violence and other types of abuse.
Being raised by an emotionally unavailable parent or guardian can lead to a life of unstable friendships, strings of failed relationships, emotional neediness, an inability to self-regulate, provide for yourself, and identity confusion.
For children, affectional neglect may have devastating consequences, including failure to thrive, developmental delay, hyperactivity, aggression, depression, low self-esteem, running away from home, substance abuse, and a host of other emotional disorders. These children feel unloved and unwanted.
Consequences of Feeling Unlovable
Feeling unlovable can impact your life and relationships in many ways. People who feel unlovable might engage in people-pleasing behaviors and struggle with recognizing when someone is manipulating or taking advantage of them.
Emotionally absent or cold mothers can be unresponsive to their children's needs. They may act distracted and uninterested during interactions, or they could actively reject any attempts of the child to get close. They may continue acting this way with adult children.
Emotional pain from not receiving love as a child can manifest in many ways, whether you're aware of it or not. You may feel empty or numb, or you live with depression and anxiety. Unresolved trauma can find a way to show in your life.
Physical touch is vital for your child's well-being. Many long for the presence of caring touch in their daily life and its absence can cause loneliness, insecurity, and stress.
Feeling unloved and unwanted
Many people who frequently feel unloved and unwanted have a history of childhood abuse and neglect, and of not having had their basic needs met—for example, the need to feel safe, secure, cared for, valued, understood, and accepted by parents/caregivers.
Some studies proved, that lack of parental warmth and love can make children more stressed, since parents put too much pressure on them to succeed without balancing it with affection. This can create health risks for children.
According to research, “skin hunger” and lack of love can lead to greater anxiety and similar mood disorders. It's been reported that many begin to suffer with Alexithymia — a condition impairing the ability to interpret and express emotion.
Those who feel rejected as children develop low self-esteem and self-worth. Their view of themselves tends to reflect that of their parents. Lack of parental love and acceptance left them feeling unlovable and unworthy, which led to low self-worth7.
We all want to feel loved. So when you don't feel loved by your partner or simply find yourself needing more love in your life or in your relationship than you're getting, it can feel very lonely, empty, and maybe even hurtful.
A classic example of neglect in childhood is difficulty trusting people. If you find that your kids take much longer to trust others, then they may have a deeper-rooted challenge with opening up. You can talk to your kids about their feelings so that they're more accepting of trusting new people in their lives.
A child's perception of neglect is important. When a child perceives they're being neglected emotionally, they are twice as likely to develop psychiatric disorders by age 15, including the development of depression, bipolar disorder, anxiety, panic disorder, phobias, and posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
On the other hand, children who do not have affectionate parents tend to have lower self esteem and to feel more alienated, hostile, aggressive, and anti-social. There have been a number of recent studies that highlight the relationship between parental affection and children's happiness and success.
An emotionally absent mother is not fully present and especially not to the emotional life of the child. She may be depressed, stretched too thin and exhausted, or perhaps a bit numb. Many of these mothers were severely undermothered themselves and have no idea what a close parent-child relationship looks like.
This overwhelming turmoil affects daughters in incomprehensible ways, and daughters of unloving mothers can even go through stages, similar to the grief cycle: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.