A golden child's sense of self and their personal boundaries are erased, as their own sense of identity is replaced with the need to live up to their role. Their behaviors and beliefs reflect what their parent expects of them, and they may feel incapable of individuation even in adulthood.
Narcissists turn on their golden child all the time and their emotional neglect of the golden child means that the golden child doesn't get the validation, admiration, and reassurance that they need to develop a realistic sense of self.
The Golden Child is trained to not support the Scapegoat, and to treat as less than, to neglect and to be unaware of their needs, just like the narcissist.
The Golden Child, as the name suggests, is the best and most wonderful child – at least in the eyes of the Narcissistic Mother. It seems to be that the Narcissistic Mother picks the Golden Child to be an extension of herself, onto whom she projects all her own supposed wonderfulness. The Golden Child can do no wrong.
Since the scapegoat child is only tolerated when they bear the faults of the parent with NPD, they can grow up with a distorted view of relationships and love as only conditional or transactional. Gravitating toward partners with narcissistic behaviors.
Most recent theories have focused on the link between narcissism and negative childhood experiences, such as physical or sexual violence, neglect, or rejection [10,11].
By choosing a scapegoat to unload their inner misery onto, narcissists show themselves to be the ultimate gaslighters. They wish to fill their victim with doubt and confusion, but in the process, they overlook how it actually illustrates their own inadequacies.
They play favorites.
Narcissistic parents maintain their power by triangulating, or playing favorites. They may have a golden child who they compliment excessively, for example, while speaking badly about another child in the family.
More specifically: Scapegoated adults often feel debilitated by self-doubt and 'imposter syndrome' in their relationships and in the work-place, and blame themselves for their difficulties.
In an NPD family, The Lost Child just doesn't seem to matter to the narcissist, and avoids conflict by keeping a low profile. They are not perceived as a threat or a good source of supply, but they are usually victim of neglect and emotional abuse.
A golden child can become a narcissist. Because golden children are told that they must be good at everything and feel pressured to live up to unreasonable expectations, they are sometimes unable to develop their own sense of self. This can cause low self-esteem, which lays the foundation for becoming a narcissist.
While it seems like the grass is greener for the golden child, all those privileges and praises came with a price. The golden child is often the one who becomes a narcissist, thus continuing the intergenerational cycle of abuse. Meanwhile, the scapegoat usually has enough left in them to break the cycle.
Some golden children might get too clingy in relationships. They may be poor at setting boundaries or rely too much on their partner's validation. This can push a partner away, creating a greater urge for validation. Another major drawback of golden child syndrome can be low self-esteem.
But while here first-born children with at least five narcissistic traits were significantly more than the second- born ones, no significant difference was evident between them with respect to achievement and satisfaction in life.
Children of narcissists often end up in relationships with people who have narcissistic traits. These children feel like they can never be good enough for their partner or themselves, so they become codependent on the other person to make them happy and validate their self-worth.
In the dysfunctional narcissistic family system, the golden child is the most likely to develop a narcissistic personality.
The narcissist charms everyone around them. They manipulate others to support their distorted version of reality. All the while, they enjoy the feeling of power they get from making the scapegoat suffer. The narcissist is driven by envy, jealousy and a lack of empathy.
Many times, healing the scapegoat role on a personal level is about deep healing of trauma, empowerment, and a place to process emotion and find safety in relationship. Healing the scapegoat role in community means learning how to forge new relationships of repair and effective emotional communication.
Many narcissistic parents are neglectful or abusive to their children, which can result in lasting negative impacts that continue into adulthood. With treatment, it is possible to heal from narcissistic abuse and learn ways to improve your mental well-being and form healthy, fulfilling relationships as an adult.
Narcissists are known for their lack of empathy, which impacts all their relationships, including those with their mothers. They are often dismissive, neglectful, or manipulative, using their mother to fulfill their own needs without considering her feelings.
Golden child syndrome is a family dynamic where a parent excessively favors one child over their siblings. If you were the golden child in your family, you might struggle with perfectionism, self esteem issues, or setting boundaries with your parents.
They only want to associate and be associated with other high-status people, places, and things. Narcissists also believe that they're better than everyone else and expect recognition as such—even when they've done nothing to earn it.
Narcissists thrive on getting attention, feeling special, and having control. He is an expert at getting an emotional reaction out of you – good or bad – because it makes him feel powerful and better than you.
Scapegoats often have trouble feeling safe in relationships – especially intimate relationships – due to the massive betrayal of trust in their family. They can also have challenges managing emotions, and find they either feel overwhelmed and anxious, or shut down and not know how they are feeling.