Children of mothers with BPD are also at heightened risk for exhibiting attention difficulties, aggressive behavior, and low self-esteem, in addition to major depression, anxiety, and borderline personality disorder itself.
One strong predictor of the disorder is family history. In fact, having a first-degree relative (parent, sibling, child) with BPD puts you at a 5 times greater risk of developing it yourself, according to NAMI. (2) With a first-degree relative, you share an average of 50 percent of your genes.
Mothers with BPD may find it difficult to balance appropriate limit setting with the encouragement of exploration and growth for their children. It may also be that mothers with BPD find it difficult to adjust their parenting strategies to match the developmental needs of their children.
People with borderline personality disorder can be very effective and nurturing parents, but because the symptoms of BPD can be very intense, for many people this does take some work.
The children of parents with BPD are at risk of poorer outcomes in terms of their own mental health, educational outcomes and wellbeing. The challenges of being a parent can also exacerbate the symptoms of those with BPD traits.
Key points. Many people with borderline personality disorder are highly functional parents. Some people raised by parents with BPD compensate by becoming exceptionally compassionate, mature, and competent. It is never too late to set boundaries with a parent, even if this was impossible in childhood.
There is also evidence to link BPD to other forms of child maltreatment, such as emotional and physical neglect. In fact, some research suggests that emotional and physical neglect may be even more closely related to the development of BPD than physical or sexual abuse.
Christine Lawson, describes four subtypes of mothers with BPD: the Waif (helpless), the Hermit (fearful/avoidant), the Queen (controlling) and the Witch (sadistic).
Separations, disagreements, and rejections—real or perceived—are the most common triggers for symptoms. A person with BPD is highly sensitive to abandonment and being alone, which brings about intense feelings of anger, fear, suicidal thoughts and self-harm, and very impulsive decisions.
Borderline personality disorder usually begins by early adulthood. The condition seems to be worse in young adulthood and may gradually get better with age. If you have borderline personality disorder, don't get discouraged.
Talk to a therapist or other mental health professional for individual help. Set and reinforce boundaries with your borderline parent. Keep a journal to write your thoughts and feelings, especially after an upsetting interaction. Be aware of triggers (both yours and your parent's) and do your best to avoid them.
People with BPD score low on cognitive empathy but high on emotional empathy. This suggests that they do not easily understand other peoples' perspectives, but their own emotions are very sensitive. This is important because it could align BPD with other neurodiverse conditions.
Those diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) or those with BPD who may not even know they have it, are more likely than the general population to be verbally, emotionally/psychologically, physically abusive.
People with BPD may be sensitive to rejection and abandonment and are prone to splitting, rage, and impulsivity. If a person with BPD feels rejected or abandoned, they may end the relationship. However, this is usually followed by significant anxiety and regret and efforts to get back together.
Maladaptive Parenting. Maladaptive parenting including childhood maltreatment, abuse and neglect, exposure to domestic violence and parental conflict are found to be prevalent psychosocial risk factors for development of BPD in children and adolescents [10, 11].
BPD in particular is one of the lesser-known mental illnesses, but all the same it is one of the hardest to reckon with. (Some people dislike the term so much they prefer to refer to emotionally unstable personality disorder.)
Many people with BPD feel emotions deeply and find working in a caring role fulfilling. If you are an empathetic person, consider jobs such as teaching, childcare, nursing and animal care.
To evaluate crying behavior, we used a set of specially designed tools. Compared to non-patients, BPD patients showed the anticipated higher crying frequency despite a similar crying proneness and ways of dealing with tears.
Queens are impatient and have a low tolerance for frustration. They also push others' boundaries without regret or recognition. Driven by feelings of emptiness and unable to soothe themselves, Queens do what it takes to get what they feel they so richly deserve-- including vindictive acts like blackmail.
As a result, they often fear conflict, try to placate their family, and struggle with a core sense of identity. Parents with BPD may oscillate between being overly attached or involved with their children and being hostile or dismissive. Sometimes, they might present as extraordinarily loving and attentive.
Petulant BPD: This subtype fluctuates between outbursts of explosive anger and feelings of being unworthy or unloved. They have a strong need to manipulate or control others, and they become very possessive, which results in extreme dissatisfaction in their relationships.
Unstable self-image or sense of self: People with BPD often have a distorted or unclear self-image and often feel guilty or ashamed and see themselves as “bad.” They may also abruptly and dramatically change their self-image, shown by suddenly changing their goals, opinions, careers or friends.
Low-Functioning BPD Mothers
The Waif: Waifs feel worthless and victimized. They can suffer from depression, anxiety, irrational fears, and feelings of vulnerability. Waifs feel helpless but reject attempts by family members to help them.
Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a mental health condition that comes with extreme emotions, intense challenges with self-esteem, and difficulty forming strong, stable relationships with others. Teenagers with BPD are often angry, impulsive, and quick to believe that other people have wronged them.