A parentified child does not develop a clear sense of their own needs and feelings. As an adult, they may find it hard to trust others, manage their own emotions, and form healthy intimate relationships. They face a greater risk of anxiety, depression, substance use disorders, and eating disorders.
However, there are often negative effects of parentification in childhood. Many parentified children can grow up with higher levels of anxiety, depression, eating disorders, and obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD).
In addition to being burdened with numerous tasks, the children are left alone to deal with their own development and meeting their needs. Paradox- ically, the parentified children experience loneliness even though they func- tion within the family – which should be their closest environment.
Parentification can have negative effects on a child. Parentified children may experience anxiety, depression, and other psychological and physical effects. The impact can be lasting and might continue into adulthood.
Parentification is a form of invisible childhood trauma. Parentification occurs when the roles between a child and a parent are reversed. You know you were parentified if as a child you have to step up as the caretaker, mediator, or protector of the family.
Many eldest daughters are subjected to a form of parentification, which Healthline defines as a type of dysfunction wherein kids take on traditional parenting roles in the household: “Instead of giving to their child, the parent takes from them. In this role reversal, the parent may delegate duties to the child.
Among their findings are that adult children who are overparented tend to have lower self-efficacy and an exaggerated sense of entitlement, and that moms and dads who overparent are likely to be less satisfied with family communication and connection.
Typically, a child may be parentified if a parent is unable to fulfill their own role as a parental figure for various reasons. These reasons may include: Divorce. Chronic illness, disability, or a death in the family.
Individual Counseling: Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
Children (and adults) who suffer from the long-term effects of parentification may benefit from individual counseling with a licensed mental health professional.
One study published in 2020 revealed that some children may benefit from parentification. Research published in the Journal of Child and Family Studies suggests that parentification may give some children feelings of competence, self-efficacy, and other positive benefits.
Often parentified children are the oldest or middle in the birth order. Children of all genders can become parentified. Children as young as two or three may start to take on parenting responsibilities by comforting or feeding their younger siblings.
In adulthood: Kids raised with this type of parenting often become perfectionists, overachievers, and highly critical of themselves, and may struggle with compulsive behaviors such as workaholism or shopaholism as ways of self-numbing and to feel worthy.
The bottom line. If you grew up with emotionally immature parents, your emotions weren't understood or validated as a child. So, you may have difficulty understanding and expressing your feelings as an adult. Plus, you may struggle to have open, honest conversations with your parent.
If you grew up with an emotionally immature, unavailable, or selfish parent, you may have lingering feelings of anger, loneliness, betrayal, or abandonment.
The negative side effects to this parenting style include the following: Overprotective parenting will frequently encourage a child to lie. When expectations are too high or unreasonable, a child will lie to avoid getting in trouble. When the parent is fearful of many things, the child becomes overly scared as well.
Overprotectiveness conveys to the child a sense that the world is dangerous. It reinforces avoidance and keeps children from engaging in social situations restricting the opportunities to build friendships and learn social skills. Children raised with overprotective parenting tend to have less competent social skills.
Often parentified children are the oldest or middle in the birth order. Children of all genders can become parentified. Children as young as two or three may start to take on parenting responsibilities by comforting or feeding their younger siblings.
For some parents, infancy is the hardest. For others, it's toddlerhood. Some parents feel that the preschool years present special challenges.
Eldest daughter syndrome is the burden felt by oldest daughters because they're given too many adult responsibilities in their family before they're ready. Eldest daughter syndrome can make women feel overburdened, stressed out, and constantly responsible for others.
Parentification can occur when one or both parents have mental health issues and it seems to be common in narcissistic families where the family is structured around getting the needs of parents met, rather than providing a healthy environment where children are nurtured.
Trauma feels like a complete loss of control in a situation that is terrifying and unsafe. Childhood trauma can affect parenting styles through overcompensation by becoming overly controlling. Children of overly controlling parents may become rebellious or may lack the skills needed for independence.
Your grief about your own childhood may be triggered after becoming a parent. And, moreover, this grief and mourning can be triggered again and again, long after we think we've done the bulk of our grieving.