And they shall be my people, and I will be their God.” Here it is again in Ezekiel 36:26–27: “I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you. And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh.
According to Gordon Neufeld, a heart can only be softened with the cultivation of safe and caring attachments with others. It is relationship that offers someone the promise of safety, warmth, and dependence. It is attachment that is the antidote to facing too much separation and wounding.
Matthew 25:34-40
Of course, He does not want us to be so soft-hearted that we become an easy mark for those who would take advantage of us, but He does want us to develop a keen sense of discernment that realizes when mercy is a better option than the strict application of rules.
One of the best examples of hardheartedness is found in the book of Exodus. Pharaoh refused to let the children of Israel leave the land of Egypt as God had commanded. Fifteen times in Exodus, the Scriptures mention Pharaoh's heart being hardened.
He raises the spiritually dead (Ephesians 2:5). He gives new birth (John 3:8). He takes out the heart of stone and puts in the heart of flesh (Ezekiel 11:19). We should be encouraged that God can take out any hard heart that he has handed people over to.
Here is a list of 7 strong warning signs that a heart has hardened and needs repair: Lack of ability to perceive, remember, or grasp events or ideas coming from God. Insensitivity to sin, sinfulness. Failure to follow God's commands, the way of Jesus, the voice of the Holy Spirit.
Only God can make him open to the Gospel, and only God can change his heart. You can be sure that Satan will put up a fierce battle for his soul, for Satan doesn't give up easily. But God is stronger than Satan, and even the hardest heart can be overcome by His Spirit.
As the King James Bible puts it, “Pharaoh's heart was hardened, neither did he hearken unto them; as the Lord had said.
The thickened heart muscle can eventually become too stiff to fill the heart with blood. As a result, the heart can't pump enough blood to meet the body's needs.
Matthew 13:15 NLT
For the hearts of these people are hardened, and their ears cannot hear, and they have closed their eyes— so their eyes cannot see, and their ears cannot hear, and their hearts cannot understand, and they cannot turn to me and let me heal them.
Josiah's heart was soft because he chose to do RIGHT at an early age. Although he was young when he became king, Josiah made a decision to walk in the ways of the Lord. Choosing to walk in the ways of the Lord at a young age helped him maintain a soft heart as he grew older.
-Psalm 32: 1 and 2.
Bringing our sins into the light softens our hearts. It's important to regularly confess our sin to the Lord and to others. Confession keeps us sensitive to the Lord and to His gentle correction. Forgiving others: Our hearts aren't only hardened by our own sinfulness, but also by sins done to us.
He said to them, “Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery.”
Start with Prayer and Ask God for a Softer Heart
If you're struggling to put things into words, here's a prayer you can say to ask God for a softer heart: Heavenly Father, I know you have the power to soften anyone's heart. I want to have a softer heart toward you and others.
My compassionate Lord, Your firmness and chastisements are an act of Your utmost mercy for those who are hard of heart. Please soften my heart, dear Lord, and when I am stubborn and closed, please rebuke me in Your great love so that I will always turn back to You and Your saving message with all my heart.
Lord, I thank you for all you've done for me. I just pray that you would change me, oh God. Please guide my heart, and help me to grow into the person you want me to be. Rather than me following my own ways, please purify my heart and make me more like you.
Hard-hearted people are typically the way they are because something has happened somewhere in their past that made them brokenhearted people. They risked vulnerability or trust or relationship and they were hurt, betrayed, or rejected.
Having a soft heart means we are teachable and loving. We have faith in Jesus Christ and try to become like Him. Having a hard heart means we are stubborn and unwilling to change.
Ezekiel 36:26 reveals God's desire towards men, “I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and you a heart of flesh.”
A closed heart can neither give nor receive and that includes love from and love of the Lord; just like a closed hand can neither give nor receive anything.
Shattered hopes and bitter disappointment, that is one acute cause of a heavy heart. Other causes may include the loss of a job, … deep grief over the unexpected death of a loved one or the death of a life‐long companion, … the excessive weight of a demonically incited oppression.
Matthew 13:15 In-Context
15 For this people's heart has become calloused; they hardly hear with their ears, and they have closed their eyes. Otherwise they might see with their eyes, hear with their ears, understand with their hearts and turn, and I would heal them.
yet you refuse to come to me that you may have life” (John 5:39–40). That's a stubborn heart! The problem that alienates you from God is not on God's side. The roadblock that stands in the way of God coming to us is the stubbornness of our own hearts.
We know we can't ever really change someone else, but we can pray for them, just like you can pray for your wife's heart to be softened toward you–for her to love you again. Her current emotions can be moderated as she feels safe and cared for in your presence.
God is a deeply-loving, perfectly-wise, and all-powerful heart-specialist. So don't settle for an unfeeling heart. Bring your heart to him, by means of the Word and prayer. He will revive you.