To Deflect Responsibility If the narcissist has done something that you are trying to hold them accountable for, they may resort to the
Let them know that if they continue to use the silent treatment against you, the relationship will come to an end. 2. Don't engage – Engaging with a narcissist when they are giving you the silent treatment will only prolong their pity party. It's best not to respond back with anything at all.
Due to their inflated sense of self-worth and feelings of superiority, when they are presented with information that is counter to this belief, they feel insecure and uncomfortable internally. To resolve these negative feelings, they shut down all communication to prevent further possible criticism.
If you didn't know already, the silent treatment is when someone refuses to communicate verbally and/or electronically with someone who is willing to communicate. A narcissist's silent treatment can last for hours, days, weeks, or even months.
If you have the energy, acknowledge the narcissist's feelings and let them know what they're feeling has significance. Encourage them to talk about how they're feeling and work toward having a conversation about how the silent treatment affects you and better ways to get your feelings across than the silent treatment.
Well, silence can be a powerful tool when dealing with a narcissist. If they are used to dominating the conversation, silence can make them uncomfortable. You can force them to confront their behavior and make them fear you by remaining silent.
Here, we define “narcissistic coldness” as the narcissistic tendency to feel less happy for successful others and less concern for unsuccessful others. To explain this coldness, theorists have traditionally posited mechanisms that emphasize “dark” or pathological bases.
They don't stop talking
Since narcissists are constantly seeking approval and favor from their audience, Behary says their constant talking will sound more like a lecture than a conversation. "There's so much showing off and wanting to appear to be very smart, special, knowledgeable, and intuitive," she explains.
When a narcissist ignores needs in a relationship, they do this to deliberately to set up their future self with a source of supply. Ignoring you means they win. Narcissists enjoy that you wish to discuss things with them. The greater your reaction to their obtuse behavior, the greater the supply for them.
A narcissist uses ignoring people as a way to punish them. Especially if they feel like you are pulling away. Or, you've inflicted a narcissistic injury on them. A narcissist has a fundamentally unstable sense of self.
Narcissists are highly sensitive to criticism or any perceived threat to their self-image, and they will go to great lengths to protect it. If you criticize them or challenge their dominance, you will trigger a defensive response.
It is to make the victim acquiesce to self-erasure and scramble to meet the needs of their abuser, however unhealthy or damaging those may be. Moreover, it is a form of intermittent reinforcement that causes the victim to walk on eggshells.
They will get fearful and nervous as soon as you begin ignoring them. This is what happens when you ignore a narcissist. They may start to obsess around you even more by sending text messages like “I sincerely apologize” or “May we talk?” Don't mind them, and witness the effects of ignoring a narcissist.
Saying 'No', enforcing boundaries and challenging them are some of the tips on how to checkmate a narcissist by making them fear you. Holding them accountable, publicly exposing them and going 'no contact' are other strategies on how to outsmart a narcissist.
But as clinical psychologist Dr. Ramani Durvasula points out, narcissists often have a habit of staying in contact with their exes in a way that is solely about their own needs. "The central motivator for narcissists is validation," she explains. "And an ex is often a really interesting place to get it...
They will often deploy a variety of narcissistic relationship patterns such as manipulation, charismatic, and exploitational tactics in order to ensure that their own needs and wants are met. As a spouse, you may be the subject of their manipulation and abuse, while your partner treats everyone else positively.
But here is the rub: Over time, the narcissist usually senses that you are pulling away, and it is then that your problems take on a different form. Narcissists hate feeling that they might be rejected or that you might conclude that they are defective. So, they go into compensation mode by turning the tables.
Start a Fight To End a Relationship
Narcissists love conflict when they're in control of it. At the end of a relationship when they've grown tired, they'll find the most dramatic way to end it. Often they'll use the fight to force your hand into breaking up with them.
Things You Should Know
A narcissist is likely to be enraged when they begin to lose control. They may lash out at you, go on a smear campaign, or purposefully ignore you.
Ultimately, when you learn how to get out of a narcissistic relationship, the narcissist is shocked. They believed that they had complete control over you, and they never thought you'd leave. When you cut off contact, they may chase after you, desperately trying to get you back under their control.
“A narcissist will often imagine that other people are belittling them or trying to harm them, even if the person is simply trying to set a small boundary or give constructive criticism during a business meeting. They often react with rage or a defiant counterattack. And it can get ugly,” she says.
Rejection, humiliation, and even the tiniest of defeats can shake them to their core. This leaves narcissists wholly focused on their image. They believe that how they are viewed by others, and how they view themselves, will shield them against realities of life that few of us like but most of us come to accept.
Narcissists generally dislike spending too much time alone. They crave attention from others because it provides them with validation. But they can also be introverted and enjoy their own solitude. Whether they want to be alone at a given moment varies based on their mood, desires, and current connections to others.