As their children become more independent, narcissistic parents typically feel threatened. They engage in manipulation to keep their children's attention focused on them. To feed their delicate egos, they chip away at their children's self-esteem with critical and condescending comments.
Narcissistic parents are often emotionally abusive to their children, holding them to impossible and constantly changing expectations. Those with narcissistic personality disorder are highly sensitive and defensive. They tend to lack self-awareness and empathy for other people, including their own children.
A narcissistic mother may feel entitled or self-important, seek admiration from others, believe she is above others, lack empathy, exploit her children, put others down, experience hypersensitivity to criticism, believe she deserves special treatment, and worst of all, maybe naïve to the damage she is causing.
A narcissistic parent is a self-centered and self-absorbed parent with an inflated self-image and thinks they are better than others. They often disregard other people's needs and concerns, including their children's, because they believe their needs and feelings are the most important.
Narcissistic parents lack empathy, show a severe sense of entitlement to micromanage the lives of their children, and may even subject their children to neglect, as well as emotional and/or physical abuse.
Children who grow up with a narcissistic parent tend to suffer from at least some of the following as children and as adults: anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, self-doubt, self-blame, indecision, people-pleasing tendencies, difficulties with emotional intimacy, and codependent relationships.
In narcissists' efforts to avoid blame, they often combine several fake apologies at once, such as, “I am sorry if I said anything to offend you, but I have strong opinions. Maybe you're too sensitive,” or, “I guess I should tell you I am sorry.
“You are overreacting.” “No one will ever love you with that attitude.” “You have an awful personality and can never do anything right.” “Everyone agrees that you're probably the worst person to go out with.”
That said, the six faces of maternal narcissism are identified as: the flamboyant-extrovert, the accomplishment-oriented, the psychosomatic, the addicted, the secretly mean, and the emotionally needy. A parent can be a mixture of these types and often that is the case.
The golden child becomes an extension of that parent, and the child's role is to please that parent. Narcissistic parents are unable to appreciate the golden child's unique identity, and attempt to control their child's interests and activities in ways that would reflect positively on them.
Narcissism tends to emerge as a psychological defence in response to excessive levels of parental criticism, abuse or neglect in early life. Narcissistic personalities tend to be formed by emotional injury as a result of overwhelming shame, loss or deprivation during childhood.
The tragic reality is that narcissists don't (and can't) love their children in the way that ordinary people do. They will tell you that they do (and most likely they will believe that they do), but their love can only be of the transactional, conditional type, even with their children.
The victims of narcissistic parent abuse typically feel ashamed, unimportant, and insignificant. They may also feel responsible for the abusive behaviour or believe that they deserved their treatment. There are different types of narcissistic parent abuse. It can be physical, psychological, and emotional.
Signs that a child may be a narcissist include a lack of empathy; unrealistic sense of self-importance; lack of recognition of attention and admiration; and an overall struggle in social and family relationships.
What is narcissistic rage? When a narcissistic parent explodes in rage at her child, she seeks to destroy and ask questions later. Children who suffered bouts of narcissistic rage from a parent often describe feeling hated by the parent.
Narcissistic parental brainwashing occurs when a parent with narcissistic tendencies psychologically manipulates the child into thinking false narratives about the other parent. This could entail painting the other parent as dangerous, unloving, unintelligent, or somehow not good for the child.
The narcissistic parent's unstable mood will cycle back, restarting the cycle of abuse. The child will further learn not to trust themselves, leading often to further shame, depression, and anxiety.
Narcissists don't know they're hurting you. It doesn't even enter their minds. And, if you try to tell them how you feel, they get defensive and make you feel you're wrong again. In fact, they'll even rather “innocently” tell you: “I'm only trying to help you.”
This means someone living with narcissistic traits may cry from regret or remorse, but not with empathy at its source. They may feel embarrassed, for example, about being criticized for their part in a distressing situation. They may feel sadness or regret that whatever happened paints them in a negative light.
Narcissistic parenting leaves you alone-and unable to trust. So later in life, you might experience emotional flashbacks and get triggered into intense feelings of anger, fear, shame and helpless depression.
If you have grown up with a narcissistic parent, there are many instances in which they may have traumatized you throughout your childhood. This can lead to PTSD or cPTSD in adulthood. PTSD can result from overt abuse and neglect, emotional neglect, and gaslighting.
The narcissist offers your pet a treat and then takes it back. The narcissist gets a payoff from seeing people and pets suffer under their control. By teasing your pet, the narcissist is also pushing your pet into snapping at them as a way to tell the narcissist to stop.