In addition, narcissists are often grandiose when it comes to self-serving, unnecessary expenditures. They may splurge on a luxurious vacation and share many pics on social media. But, they'll also skimp on essentials like rent. I'll give you a real-life example.
And narcissists know this all too well. Even a little bit of money gives a narcissist a sense of power and domination over others. It starts off small with the little things like removing your name from the accounts and then grows into stealing, threats, and extortion.
Hiding assets.
They go to great pains to hide marital assets, sometimes setting up secret accounts, “lending” money to friends, or stashing cash in safe-deposit boxes. Because they're so grandiose, they don't believe they'll ever get caught.
Primary narcissistic supply refers to the essential and constant sources attention and validation. This type of supply is like a drug for narcissists; they are addicted to receiving attention, either good or bad. Other people only serve one purpose — to provide admiration, worship, and praise.
Narcissists believe that they deserve the best, regardless of cost. Hence, they may recklessly purchase status items and indulge in expensive experiences to make them feel like VIPs. Narcissists may donate generously to a cause or to helping others out in order to reflect well on themselves.
Most narcissists enjoy an irrational and brief burst of relief after having suffered emotionally ("narcissistic injury") or after having sustained a loss. It is a sense of freedom, which comes with being unshackled.
If the narcissist has nothing to gain, they will become incredibly miserly towards others and give little to them. In their view, sharing their abundance just for the sake of generosity or giving back is not valuable. In addition, narcissists are often grandiose when it comes to self-serving, unnecessary expenditures.
Narcissists all follow the same patterns — here are some of the most common phrases they use to manipulate you. Narcissists often follow the same pattern in relationships: idealize, devalue, discard.
Receiving Constant Attention, Compliments, & Praise
Narcissists rely on praise and admiration to gain a sense of emotional stability that they did not receive in the past. Accumulating these compliments not only satisfies this but also fuels their grandiosity and ego.
For narcissists, their “substance” is the attention and admiration from other people. Narcissists can go to great lengths to gain the attention of others and will lie, cheat, or steal if that's what it takes to keep others' eyes trained on them and keep their grandiose fantasies of greatness intact.
Because money and material wealth are highly important to narcissists, they often become a focal point of their relationships—sometimes resulting in financial abuse.
Regardless of their financial status, the narcissist gives whether they have money or not. However, they give from a depraved sense of self. In extreme cases, this type of individual may be addicted to giving, even willing to go into debt. The giving, you see, is more about looking good than it is generosity.
Readily revealing themselves while in the midst of familiar, grandiose states of mind, narcissists tend to hide what they consider shameful signs of weakness, deficiency, or failure.
They are punitive with money. Narcissists often use money as a tool for punishment. They may reward you financially when you do what they want, and then withhold money when they feel vindictive. This can feel unsafe, degrading and confusing.
Narcissists use sex and the pretence of emotion to control others. They like to be in control, and often derive pleasure from giving or withdrawing sex or affection to this end. 10. Narcissists are not really capable of feeling guilty, and feel no shame about lying if they think that it will get them what they want.
They Are Criticized. When a narcissist is criticized, their inflated sense of self is damaged. Any perceived negative feedback, even if offered in gentle or productive ways, can easily result in outbursts of narcissistic rage. A narcissist cannot tolerate threats to their massive egos and grandiose self-image.
Avoid triggering a narcissistic reaction.
Potential triggers include giving direct criticism or feedback and escalating conflicts that could lead to personal harm. Don't try to use logic or get into a debate with the person or try to argue that they are overreacting.
Avoid playing their games, and just ignore them when they try to manipulate you so they don't have control anymore. Don't argue with a narcissist because they might just keep escalating things until they get their way. Someone with NPD is incapable of seeing things from your point of view. Just ignore them.
They only want to associate and be associated with other high-status people, places, and things. Narcissists also believe that they're better than everyone else and expect recognition as such—even when they've done nothing to earn it.
Idealization. The first stage in a narcissistic relationship is “idealization” and is perhaps the most dangerous of them all. This is how they hook you! This phase always occurs right at the beginning of any relationship with a narcissist, and is where they will make you feel truly special.
Not listening to you, blaming you for their mistakes, and holding grudges against you are some weird things narcissists do. Being with such a person may affect your physical and mental health.
“Some kinds of narcissists will come across as extremely needy. If there is always a huge problem or drama, everyone has to focus on them—pitying them, running to their rescue, and helping them clean up their messes,” says Ho.
It is because of this that they may find it difficult to understand other people's feelings or perspectives, a self-centredness that can cause them to act selfishly and exploit others for their own gain. “As narcissists do not have empathy, they are not able to genuinely care or love you,” explains Davey.
Yes, most narcissists are relatively stingy and protective over their money. They don't willingly hand over what they have. However, this greed extends beyond self-preservation. Because narcissists lack empathy for others, they don't necessarily understand the benefits of sharing their resources.